' ' Cinema Romantico: 10 Out Of 10

Monday, May 12, 2008

10 Out Of 10

Entertainment Weekly has taken the time to rank the "coolness" factor of all the cast members set to appear in next year's film based on the old "G.I. Joe" cartoon. Normally this would interest me as much as the NHL Playoffs but due to the appearance of my official Cinematic Crush (Sienna "Yeah, I Kicked The S--- Out Of A Paparazzi, Now What The F--- Are You Gonna' Do About It?" Miller) in the cast our interest was piqued.

In its infinite wisdom, EW has seen fit to rank divine Sienna's "coolness" as a mere 9 out of a possible 10. Come again? What kind of shoddy ranking system have those yahoos got? Was Marlon Brando's performance in "On the Waterfront" 9 out of 10? Was The Arcade Fire's performance on Austin City Limits a 9 out of 10? Was Tommie Frazier's performance in the 1996 Fiesta Bowl a 9 out of 10? No, no, and no. And no, Sienna Miller as The Baroness is not a 9 out of 10.

Sienna's a 10 out of 10. And....did The Baroness smoke? Does anyone know? Help me out, "G.I. Joe" fans. Because she should smoke. And she should drink scotch. Lots of scotch. I don't care if this is a kids movie. If Tony Stark could drink scotch in "Iron Man" then The Baroness can drink it in "G.I. Joe". And should director Stephen Sommers (who, by the way, directed "Van Helsing", the second most recent movie I walked out on, and should concern said "G.I. Joe" devotees a whole big bunch) lets her, well, let's bump her coolness factor up to 11 out of 10.

1 comment:

Daryl said...

So, if I understand you correctly, your question is whether or not a character from a children's TV cartoon drinks scotch while smoking?

I can't see how it's possible she wouldn't.