' Cinema Romantico: When A Regular Moviegoer Gets The Shakes

Friday, March 27, 2009

When A Regular Moviegoer Gets The Shakes

Help me, someone. I'm breaking out in sweats. I..am..freaking..out. Three nights ago I dreamt I opened up a dry cleaning business with Amy Adams and Emily Blunt. Two nights ago I dreamt Paul Ruud asked me to be his best man. Three nights ago I dreamt I was in a love triangle with Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley and.....woah, Nick, that's one just for you, remember?

It happens every March - the basketball starts and about three weeks later I come up from under and realize after I've had my morning cup of coffee that my head still hurts. It ain't the caffeine, baby, it's the cinema. I need a fix. I need it now. My hand is twitching, see, and I can't make it stop.

Are you laughing at me? STOP LAUGHING AT ME! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

Rent a movie? Netflix it outta my system? Retreat to the cozy confines of my DVD case? It's not the same, man. Once you taste the big screen, you can't go back. The cineplex is the only place with the good stuff and I need it bad because I feel like I've got bugs crawling up my skin.

I gotta get there this weekend before my mind melts. I'll see anything. Anything, damn it! I'll settle for "12 Rounds", for God's sake, and that was directed by Renny Harlin! Renny "Your First Twenty Seven Choices For Director Turned You Down? Have No Fear, I'll Helm Your Project!" Harlin!!! It's like needing a drink to settle yourself and pouring back a La Crosse Lager!

Oh, don't let your little ones grow up to me like me.

1 comment:

The Fab Miss B said...

I can't wait to read your review of Sunshine Cleaning...I'm dying to see that and it's not showing in Vegas yet...Boo!