Friday's Old Fashioned: The Rose Bowl Story (1952)

There’s a line in “The Rose Bowl Story” (1952) about how the only thing that matters in Pasadena, California is keeping the Tournament of Roses committee happy. It suggests the fabled Rose Parade and those who oversee it as akin to a nefarious cabal running the whole southern California city. Alas, nothing so diabolical is allowed to infiltrate this wholesome, humdrum motion picture. Why at one point the Rose Queen, Denny Burke (Vera Miles), lectures the star player of an unnamed Midwestern college team, Steve Davis (Marshall Thompson), that he is not paying proper homage to the so-called Grandaddy of the Bowl Games. Perhaps not, but I also wonder why if the Rose Bowl was so significant, William Beaudine’s movie was made under the umbrella of a low-budget studio like Monogram Pictures rather than, say, MGM, or 20th Century Fox. The camera panning the interior of the mighty stadium nestled in the Arroyo Secco at night that ends with an obvious cut to disguise that its two actors sitting in the bleachers are not really in the Rose Bowl at all made me wonder if Beaudine broke in overnight to steal the shot.

Though the scene-setting narration of “The Rose Bowl Story,” with accompanying aerial images of Pasadena, hint at a movie about the Rose Bowl itself, that’s not really the case. It proves more of a melodrama-romantic comedy hybrid with Coach Hadley’s (Richard Rober) wife in the hospital, and Steve not only falling in love with Denny once his team arrives in California but struggling to learn the right reasons for playing – that is, for love of the game rather than money and future business prospects. It’s a storyline that current shadow college football commissioner Nick Saban and his junior senator from Texas consigliere could love. The plotting, editing, and blocking, however, evince next to no snap, crackle, or pop. Even at a mere hour and thirteen minutes, “The Rose Bowl Story” is one of those movies that moves like it’s stuck in mud. The only time it perks up are the scenes in Denny’s home. Yes, her father Iron Mike Burke (Jim Backus), predating the other Iron Mike, a one-time football player himself, is just a broad, if not occasionally insulting, caricature, but the scene where he re-enacts an old football play with a decorative artifact is more exciting than the climactic Rose Bowl game itself. What’s more, Denny’s phone-hogging younger sister Sally is played by a young Natalie Wood who, bless her heart, brings energy where there generally is none. And though it’s not enough to redeem this stinker, in so much as it has one, Wood is “The Rose Bowl Story’s” MVP.  

A Post That Goes Without Blogging

I have been listening to the new record by Wild Pink and enjoying it given that its modern spin on heartland rock evokes an updated version of the kind of 90s alternative country album I would have loved. Indeed, the opening cut “Box Store” contains a rather conspicuous lyric for a person of a certain age:

There’s a box store in a strip mall
Where I got my TV
I watch old movies from the late 90s
When casting directors loved William Fichtner

Now, I’m not sure I agree one hundred percent with Wild Pink’s ensuing analysis of Fichtner’s acting style, declaring him “measured and calmer / Than the other big dogs / Like Clooney and Wahlberg.” I mean, has Wild Pink seen “Albino Alligator” (pictured above)? But I also like the embedded notion in these lyrics that even a person who shops at a big box store gets to be a critic. Either way, when I heard those lines, I may as well have been an old Bluetick Coonhound picking up a scent. What actor, I immediately wondered, would I have cited in such a song? For about half-a-second, I imagined an epic blog post in which I would work my way through all manner of late 90s acting stalwarts to reach a conclusion. It was about half-a-second because as soon as I envisioned this epic blog post, I realized I already knew my answer. Here, then, is the revised line in my make-believe cover version of “Box Store.” 

There’s a box store in a strip mall
Where I got my TV
I watch old movies from the late 90s
When casting directors loved Hope Davis. 

That was easy. Now, if we can just get some more casting directors with late 90s taste, please. 

Erupcja

In “The Moment,” Charli XCX channeled Larry David for the TikTok generation. In the Polish American “Erupcja,” on the other hand, in her capacity as both co-star and co-writer, Charli XCX is reimagining “Serendipity.” Kate Beckinsale’s character in that 2001 romantic comedy believed that fate sent her signs and that how she read those signs determined her happiness. In director Pete Ohs’s “Erupcja,” every time Bethany (XCX) and her childhood Polish friend Nel (Lena Góra) reconvene after years apart, a volcano erupts, which they read as fate sending them a sign of their being soulmates. And if you can’t stop a volcano from erupting, only seek to contain the fallout, when Bethany and Nel reconvene in Warsaw at the same time Bethany’s boyfriend Rob (Will Madden) plans to propose, there might well be another chemical discharge but also emotional fallout to which they remain oblivious. That turns “Erupcja” into something not quite profound, perhaps, but with deeper knowledge than this genre typically allows, a diaphanous 71-minutes drama that manages to knock you over with a feather.

Every time Rob mentions Warsaw, he says, “Warsaw, Poland,” just like that, both city and country, as if he’s willing himself to be there, perhaps, but also determined to embrace it since it means so much to Bethany. It’s evocative of his unwitting sweet nature, even if that sweet nature proves no match for what his girlfriend feels with Nel. “The earth doesn’t shake,” Bethany explains of her relationship with Rob. “Volcanos don’t erupt.” These are sensations that Ohs brings to life on the soundtrack through rattling glasses and tableware, even luggage on the cobblestone streets, making it seem as if distant volcanic tremors are sending a warning on a frequency that not everyone can hear. Indeed, at breakfast, Rob gets a notification on his phone of a cancelled flight home: Italy’s Mount Etna has erupted. That’s the sign: Bethany essentially ghosts her would-be fiancé just as Nel inadvertently ghosts her ex-girlfriend Ula (Agata Trzebuchowska) just back in town. It’s not so much that the rest of the world can wait as it ceases to exist.

Among the most intriguing elements of “Erupcja” is that Bethany and Nel’s relationship is presented as platonic yet conveyed with the same sort of headlong rush typically associated with a physical relationship, suggesting that romantic soulmates exist in all manner of shapes and sizes. Ohs brings that connection to life less through traditional scenes with beginnings, middles, and ends than through aesthetic jolts of montage and music – eruptions, if you will. Such an approach is unsuitable to filling out backstory and so Ohs leaves the exposition to novel-like narration by Jacek Zubiel that in his wry tone suggests a kind of cheeky cultural anthropologist. Nel works at a flower shop, and through this narration we learn that she and Bethany met when the latter was buying flowers for herself, an action that can appear as self-care through one lens and narcissism through another.

Indeed, if there is self-evident selfishness to Bethany and Nel’s way of life, that is not glossed over but made clear. Nel’s American expat artist friend (Jeremy O. Harris) goes so far as to point out that, like, you know, “Volcanos kill people.” To Bethany and Nel, though, this concrete fact seems to go in one ear and out the other, making me think of the recent SNL sketch where in playing one real-life media influencer feuding with another real-life media influencer, Chloe Fineman described her character’s dispute as “worse than 9/11.” Another movie might also have written off Rob as collateral damage, but the denouement of “Erupcja” cedes the stage to him, imbuing a genuine sense of his confusion and dismay, as if Bridget Monyahan’s character had been given a say in “Serendipity.” And as the narrative gets handed off to him, Bethany recedes from view, her quasi-resolution mentioned in passing by the narrator as an afterthought. Before that happens, though, she delivers a monologue straight to the camera by reciting Lord Byron’s poem Darkness, which comes across like the most XCX touch of all. This poetry recitation is what passes for an explanation, like a celebrity apologizing via Instagram without apologizing for anything in particular.

12th Annual Not-at-TIFF Film Festival

The only thing that stayed with me from the otherwise unnecessary “Anchorman” sequel was Marion Cotillard and Jim Carrey as “the incredibly polite Canadian news team” concluding each sentence with a preemptive sorry. There was just something about those almost aggressive anticipatory apologies that tickled my funny bone. It’s one of the classic Canada jokes, right, a civility that a certain sort of American who will cut in line ahead of you at the supermarket and say that’s what freedom is would mock. And yet, considering that we, the United States of America, willingly gave the car keys back to a President with pudding where his brain should be and that now he has incited a trade war with our kindly neighbors to north in the manner of an imperious monarch who got indigestion from some pure Canadian maple syrup and decided to MAKE THEM PAY, I think it’s time we start being the ones to apologize upfront. Going forward, when talking to a Canadian, any and all Americans should be required to issue a preemptive “Sorry” of our own and Canadians should never have to say “Sorry” to us again until they have determined our national apology sufficient. On that note, here is the lineup for this year’s Not-at-TIFF, our annual alternative to the Toronto International Film Festival kicking off today in, well, obviously. Sorry.

All screenings theoretical.

12th Annual Not-at-TIFF Film Festival 

Tu dors, Nicole. Even by the standards of my least favorite season, this summer has been wretched, and there are few movies that capture the somnambulant, nigh unbearable suspended animation of summer with as much style and dry wit as Stephane Lafleur’s 2014 French-Canadian comedy-drama.

Straight Talk. I have seen “9 to 5,” and I have seen “Steel Magnolias,” and I have even seen “A Smoky Mountain Christmas,” but I have never seen the late Dolly Parton’s 1992 romantic comedy in which she plays a small-town Arkansan who comes to the big city of Chicago and through some sort of humorous mix-up finds herself on a radio show dispensing advice and wisdom to so many callers. The reviews seem to have been mixed, but what do snooty critics like me know about anything? Dolly Parton as an uncredentialed radio psychologist sounds like the greatest movie ever made! 

Twice as Nice. Women’s professional basketball in the United States has not merely had to fight for relevancy but its very existence since the beginning, as Jessie Maple’s 1989 drama demonstrates. It’s not just that “Twice as Nice” starred real-life twin USC basketball stars Pamela and Paula McGee as fictional twins battling to be the #1 draft pick in a fictional women’s basketball league almost a decade before the WNBA was inaugurated, but that the movie itself was nearly lost forever until a 2015 grant from the National Film Preservation Foundation ensured the literal film would be saved. Now, the WNBA has grown so much that specious forces have gone from outright ignoring it to co-opting it, exploiting the league to help foment a new version of the welfare queen and sucking all the joy from the Caitlin Clark Experience by using her as a cudgel in their never-ending culture wars. There was Russell and Wilt, and then Bird and Magic, but Clark’s foremost rival is shaping up to be The Discourse. If she can beat the formless, shapeshifting, malevolent Discourse, she really will be the GOAT.

Adaptation. I have no quarrel with Emily Wilson going scorched earth on Christopher Nolan’s “Odyssey.” As the French are fond of saying, if you pay for your seat to the show, you reserve the right to criticize it. (Then again, Wilson appears to have attended a press screening.) The whole kerfuffle that erupted, however, interested me less than the bigger question of whether an adaptation should pay fealty to the work it is adapting, or whether the only limitation should be a filmmaker’s imagination. And no movie has better captured the toil and tricky nature of modifying one artform for another quite like Michel Gondry and Charlie Kaufman’s 2002 screen adaptation of Susan Orlean’s “The Orchid Thief” that in its meta knottiness lives the adapting ideal as breaking free of the original pan and doing your own thing. 

The Swimmer. Speaking of The Odyssey, here is a perfect movie for our moment, the 1968 Frank Perry-directed adaptation of a John Cheever book combining an Odysseus-like quest via suburban swimming pools by a narcissistic, hollowed-out has-been still toiling under the impression that he’s the bees-knees without realizing that emotionally, intellectually, and mentally he’s underwater. You sometimes see people speculate that Burt Lancaster’s WASP version of Odysseus is dead but that’s just because “The Sixth Sense” ruined message boards for the rest of time. He is alive and everyone in his orbit is forced to suffer his delusions of grandeur along with him. 

The French Revolution. It was only after Sam Neill died, I am ashamed to say, that I learned he had starred as America’s greatest friend in liberty, my dawg, the Marquis de Lafayette, in a 1989 two-part international television historical drama, “La Révolution Française.” And though I am as hesitant to watch Movie Lafayettes as much as I am Movie George Washingtons, which is one of several reasons I steered clear of “Young Washington,” a movie starring not only Sam Neill as Lafyette but Jane Seymour as Marie Antoinette piques my interest. I mean, not even Meryl Streep has played Marie Antoinette and Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. If you can play Marie Antoinette and Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, then Karen Silkwood is a cakewalk.

Days of Thunder. Is Tom Cruise’s 1990 NASCAR movie good? Well, no. Did it require the sequel that was recently announced? God, no. But if I were rich and attending a benefit for an arts organization auctioning off a package to go see the “Days of Thunder 2” with Nicole Kidman (who will apparently and for understandable reasons not reprise her role from the original) and her girlfriends reviewing it aloud in real time and requiring me to sign a non-disclosure agreement to not repeat anything they say, buddy, I would break the bank. 

As always, on the eighth day we rest and watch a YouTube video. And at this year’s TIFF, Penélope Cruz will be receiving the Special Tribute Award for her “extraordinary and unique contribution to the world of film.” Oh, right, I apologize, Cruz will be receiving the Special Tribute Award, presented by CHANEL. Cruz, after all, has been a brand ambassador for CHANEL since 2018, just as she has been the brand ambassador for Emirates and its Fly Better campaign since 2023. And though it might speak poorly of the modern film industry, what’s true is true and what’s true is this: there is still no better Movie Star Moment from the 2020s than Penélope Cruz in the above Emirates ad. In that moment, she is not shilling for Emirates, no, she is remaking Emirates entirely in her image. 

Side Out. As a longtime Olympics devotee, attending one of those quadrennial sporting spectacles has always been high on my bucket list and I was recently able to procure tickets to four different events for LA28. One of my tickets is for beach volleyball. It felt appropriate given southern California being the spiritual home of the two-person version contested at the Games, and because the sport made its Olympic debut at the last American Summer Games in Atlanta in 1996. That was four years after it appeared as a demonstration sport in Barcelona and six years after C. Thomas Howell’s dramatic comedy “Side Out” which stands the test of time as the preeminent beach volleyball movie of our age by essentially being the only beach volleyball movie of our age. I also have tickets to handball and water polo, but those sports have even fewer movies than beach volleyball.

Independence Day. Sometimes I see the German-born dual citizen Roland Emmerich as cinema’s version of Roger Bennett, the dual British American citizen and soccer nut who in 2021 wrote a book as love letter to his chosen home. Emmerich had not yet obtained American citizenship in 1996, but you see the same sort of spirit in his magnum opus “Independence Day,” nevertheless, a corny, boisterous ode to American exceptionalism that even a partly cloudy patriot, to borrow the phrase of Sarah Vowell, such as myself yearns to believe in from time to time. Let’s close Not-at-TIFF by blowing this one up to 70mm and for two hours and twenty-six minutes believing with all our might.

Watched on a Plane: How to Make a Killing

This is another in Cinema Romantico’s non-existent sporadic series of reviews of movies watched on planes.

John Patton Ford’s “How to Make a Killing” was based on the 1907 novel Israel Rank: The Autobiography of a Criminal, as was the 1949 film “Kind Hearts and Coronets” in which Sir Alec Guinness played eight roles, all members of a wealthy family that a distant relative murders one-by-one to claim dukedom. The loose remake, then, would seem tailor-made for its star Glen Powell to follow in Guinness’s footsteps given that he convincingly played multiple roles in 2023’s “Hit Man.” Instead, Powell takes one role, starring as Beckett Redfellow, son of a teenage mother (Nell Williams) exiled from her affluent family for deigning to keep her baby and risk bringing shame to the family name. Despite her banishment, however, Beckett’s surname remains intact, and when his mom stresses that he should lead the life he deserves, he eventually takes that to mean murdering all his relatives in line for the massive Redfellow inheritance so he can claim it for his own. He is spurred to drastic action not only by his mother but by Julia Steinway (Margaret Qualley), his old childhood friend and “How to Make a Killing’s” resident femme fatale, in a sense laying a piece of Pule cheese at the end of an elaborate maze that Beckett cannot resist. And though Powell is only technically playing one part, in another sense, he assumes multiple personalities in so far as Ford’s screenplay requires him to cycle through different ones as the complicated plot plays out. Those personalities, alas, come across more like a matter of narrative convenience than they do a complicated sense of self, creating a fatal emotionally muddled tone. 

The story is framed as Beckett’s confession to a priest (Adrian Lukis) while awaiting his execution on death row in a few hours. Here, Powell deftly turns his own movie star features against themselves to fully inhabit the air of a charming psychopath. Problem is, in the flashback scenes, as Beckett hesitantly wades into his run of murders, egged on by Julia, the character and subsequently the performance feel altogether different, less psychotic than lucid. This is epitomized in how Beckett falls in love with Ruth (Jessica Henwick), girlfriend of his obnoxious cousin Noah (Zach Woods). Though the narrative speeds through their courtship, the chemistry that Powell and Henwick have is real, but overall, their genuine warmth never squares with the cold, calculating individual narrating the story. As the murders pile up and his choices close in on him, it’s as if “How to Make a Killing” wants to portray Beckett as a noir sap gradually ensnared in a web of his own deceit and lies even as the Beckett narrating the story suggests just the opposite. Ford’s camera, meanwhile, might salivate over Qualley, but Powell never does, never quite sure if he is supposed to, evocative of how his performance is compromised by the writing and direction as everything culminates in a scene that cannot decide between comedy and tragedy, a would-be punch to the face that whiffs.

My Favorite College Football Games: Game 5 redux

October 21, 1989: Alabama - 47 Tennessee - 30

In early 2011, someone professing to be Al from Dadeville called the long-running college football radio show of Paul Finebaum and claimed to have poisoned the historic oak trees at the intersection known as Toomer’s Corner on the campus of Auburn University. It did not take long for police to connect the caller’s nom-de-guerre to that of an Alabama football superfan named Harvey Updyke, arresting him on a charge of first-degree criminal mischief. He would eventually plead guilty, serving 180 days in jail and ordered to pay $796,731 in restitution, though he never came close to fulfilling that obligation prior to his death at the age of 71 in 2020. In the immediate aftermath of his arrest, Updyke provided various hedges, even fabrications, like claiming someone else had told him about poisoning the trees and he merely appropriated the story as his own. Whatever his shifting narratives, the phone call to Finebaum always made it clear to me that Updyke grasped from the outset the gravity of his deed. Because if we accept that Finebaum is something akin to the supreme pontiff of southern college football then, in effect, Updyke’s calling him was a confession in a religious sense as much as a criminal one. And though he would say he did it because of how much he hated Auburn, his beloved Crimson Tide’s archrival, in his 2011 ESPN profile of Updyke, Wright Thompson knew better when he wrote, “He loved a football team so much he ruined his life.”

Almost from the beginning, college football has been compared to religion. John Tunis made the comparison in 1928 writing in Harper’s that college football seemed poised to become America’s national religion. He was criticizing, not praising, but in his negative assessment, he was, nevertheless, concurring that in its customs, fellowship, and belief in something akin to an unseen order, to paraphrase Columbia University Professor Emeritus of Religion Wayne Proudfoot, the sport did, in fact, function as a religion. If it was a problem to Tunis in the 1920s, it has only grown worse, and I wonder what he would make not only of declining church attendance and football’s increasing popularity but modern coaches like Dabo Swinney and the late Bill McCartney seeking to blur the lines between church and state. Yet, if the whole sport might be deemed a religion, no place in America remains more religious than the Bible Belt, and the Bible Belt loves college football more than anyone. There was a reason that the late Alcorn State coach Marino Kasem’s famous regional classification of college football saw fit to ascribe a holy purpose to one sector only: “in the South, football is a religion,” he said, “and Saturday is the holy day.” That’s merely a more lyrical version of the Southeastern college athletic conference’s highfalutin present-day slogan, It Just Means More, just as Wright Thompson’s poetic love letter to southern football, Pulled Pork & Pigskin, innately demonstrates how every southern football fan is but one more bourbon and cola solo cup away from metamorphosing into Harvey Updyke whether they know it or not. I am from, and live in, and root for a team affiliated with Big Ten country but I know it means more down there.

19th century anthropologist Edward Burnett Tylor argued that “a minimum definition of religion” could be defined as “belief in Spiritual Beings.” The title of his treatise, Primitive Culture, mirrors the primitive cultures that Emile Durkheim examined in The Elementary Forms of the Religious Life in which a belief in a god manifested itself in the form of a totem, symbolizing the deity, to paraphrase Michael Serazio, associate professor of communication at Boston College, writing for The Atlantic in 2013, while “also implicitly offer(ing) vessels for fellowship.” Ida Mae Kilgore Bryant, mother of Paul Bryant, nicknamed Bear, wanted her son to go into the ministry, though he opted for coaching college football instead, reasoning that they were virtually the same. Indeed, in coaching his alma mater the University of Alabama from 1958 to 1982, he resurrected it into the premier program of the sport, so worshiped in the Magnolia State that all kinds of unsanctioned art, from decals to postcards, proliferated in the 1960s of the ceremonial Bear walking on water while his signature houndstooth hat turned that two-tone pattern into a totem of team as much as its own school colors. In saving the football program, he also redeemed the Old South, the antebellum mystic referenced in the title card of “Gone with the Wind,” an eyebrow-raising idea advanced by both Warren St. John in his 2004 book about Alabama football fandom “Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer” and Frank Deford in his seminal profile of the coach for Sports Illustrated in 1981. Deford also noted that the Bear scoffed at such water-walking allusions, though that did not mean their prevalence was any less telling. When Deford dared humanize the Bear in that very same profile, he was besieged by letters from angry Alabama fans. Of course, Deford himself was not above religious allegory, deeming Bryant “football incarnate” in the state and noting how hard it would be for whomever was eventually tasked to succeed him.

That happened two years later in 1983 when Bryant retired and subsequently died at the age of 69 from a massive heart attack. Ray Perkins was first into the breach, getting so much flack for decent-enough success that still paled relative to the Bear, he jumped ship of his own volition by going to coach what was then the nadir NFL franchise, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. If Perkins was an alum of Alabama, at least, his successor Bill Curry was not, and if Bryant’s houndstooth hat was the totem of Crimson Tide football, then the brick that was thrown through Curry’s office window early on the morning of October 9, 1988, might have been its most cursed object. It was the day after Curry’s second Alabama team not only lost to the University of Mississippi for the first time at home but lost to them for the first time at home on homecoming. Appropriately, the brick comes with its own conspiracy theory intimating that Curry threw it through his own window in the manner of the speculation that tobacco industry whistleblower Jeffrey Wigand might have put a bullet in his own mailbox, which is just the crimson icing on the white cake, blaming the victim to try and mask the setting of unattainable standards. And yet, the next season in 1989, Curry seemed positioned to, if you will permit me, turn the tide by starting the season 5-0, including a revenge game against Mississippi in which his squad overcame a 21-point deficit by detonating for 62 unanswered points, and ascending to #10 in the country ahead of meeting 6th-ranked and also undefeated Tennessee on, as tradition once dictated, the third Saturday in October.

Growing up in Big Eight and Big Ten country meant those were the games I usually watched, but the Alabama versus Tennessee showdown was nationally televised by CBS, and I happened to be watching, praise be. It was not a dramatic contest, per se, but a fun, high-scoring one with Alabama forging a big lead and Tennessee futilely trying to play comeback. The Crimson Tide asserted itself with one big play early in the second quarter. Leading 10-7 and lined up 75 yards from pay dirt in the shotgun formation, string bean Tide quarterback Gary Hollingsworth received the snap and drifted back a couple steps to intentionally invite the Volunteer defensive line toward him before flipping the ball forward to running back Siran Stacy, previously lined up to his QB’s right. Stacy sliced through a hole opened by that little bit of misdirection and his offensive line, angling at first toward the left sideline before reading a block out wide by a receiver and gently slaloming back to the right. As he approached midfield with one Tennessee defender hurrying to try and catch him from behind and two converging on him from both the right and the left, Stacy accelerated, not so much shedding or even slipping the last desperate attempt at a tackle but surging beyond it, making it look for all the world like Tennessee was trying to catch the wind. He coasted alone into the sun-filled end zone, a 75-yard-touchdown as exultation, echoed in the overwhelming roar of the crowd and CBS announcer Brent Musburger, who no one would accuse of being a man of few words, tingling the spine by shutting up and laying out after just three of them: “Siran Stacy explodes!” By modern-day standards, this touchdown might appear prosaic, nothing more than a little shovel pass. Yet, that underlines its timelessness, living the apotheosis of football since the beginning by transforming the muddle of so much helmeted humanity into the divine.

I had never thought much about Alabama football, or the SEC, until this game, or until this play, really, though in the new century of the sport, I had to think about them a lot as Nick Saban fashioned an evil empire out of his cherished process. If you’re not from Alabama, or maybe just not from the south, you’re not supposed to like them, and I suppose I don’t, though I must confess that this Siran Stacy touchdown caused me to see the light. I have often wondered if in its aftermath, if Curry thought that Alabama fans had seen the light, if he had been redeemed. This victory would spur them toward winning the conference, after all, going to the Sugar Bowl, and inching as high as #2 in the national rankings. But they would lose the Sugar Bowl to Miami and worse than that, they would lose their last game of the season to archrival Auburn, unforgivable, conference title or not, evincing that strange college football version of math where a 10-2 season equals 0-2. In the offseason, like Perkins before him, Curry ditched, taking the Kentucky job and his career never recovered, though maybe it was unrecoverable the moment that brick went through his window.

Writing in 2021 for the most southern-coded magazine ever, Garden & Gun, Tommy Tomlinson surmised that college football in the south was not so much religion as it was spiritual, “the hunger for that rare and precious moment of transcendence.” I think Tomlinson is underselling how the religious-like structure of the sport can help stoke that transcendence, even as he hints at that idea throughout, but I take him at his larger point, ending on a note that might as well be describing Siran Stacy’s touchdown: “(O)ne Saturday night, late in the game, your man breaks into the clear. You rise and shout. Rapture.” Up until then, college football had hinged for me on victory and defeat for my chosen team, whether it was my beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers, or my native state Iowa Hawkeyes before that. Stacy’s touchdown, however, made me realize that gridiron transcendence could exist independently of rooting interests, and that the momentary rapture could matter as much if not more than the result. College football has always been based on results, of course, though that sense of the bottom line has only been amplified in the new-fangled 12-team playoff era as athletic directors, commentators, and fans have taken What Have You Done for Me Lately to unprecedented extremes. It’s as if every college football team is fast becoming like 1989 Alabama, destined to suffer spiritually winless seasons no matter how many games they technically win if they don’t make the playoffs. It’s only natural. In sports we tend to overrate the outcome and undervalue the experience. It’s times like those when I want to sit down, bring up YouTube, find Siran Stacy’s touchdown run from that sunny day in October 1989, and get some of that good old-time religion.

 

Song of the Summer

Unlike last year, in which no clear-cut song of the summer emerged, the 2026 song of the summer appears cut and dried. As of me writing this, Ella Langley’s “Choosin’ Texas” has tied the record as the second-longest number one song on the Billboard Hot 100 at 19 weeks, a distinction of which it is more than worthy. Its indelible but easygoing hook rewards repeated listens and would sound as appropriate wafting out of a car window, drifting across a beach, or floating above a backyard deck on a warm night at dusk as it would leading a legion of two-steppers at a Lone Star honkytonk. Its lyrics exploit the innate infectiousness in getting to sing the names of places – Tennessee, Abilene, the Smoky Mountains, Memphis, Amarillo, and, of course, the titular capper that is accentuated with the preceding word that honors the regional dialect by dispensing with the g and flattening it. It’s a neat songwriting trick that Langley pulls because, in effect, “Choosin’ Texas” is a sad song, saying goodbye to a cowboy who is choosin’ Texas by choosin’ another gal even as you can sense 80,000 people in Cowboys Stadium singing along at a Langley show ratifying that choice. Who wouldn’t choose Texas? Even Langley’s wistful vocal is fessing up to that fact. It’s a helluva song, maybe even the song of the year, but it’s not the song of the summer.

I mean, the song of this summer, the summer of 2026? Hello, earth to human inhabitant. 2026 has been the summer of apocalyptic skies and smoky air, of torrential rain, melting glaciers, flash floods, insane heat waves, and the hottest month in U.S. history for the contiguous lower 48 states. It has been the summer of ICE and of VAR, of poisoned lettuce and Lake America. It has been the summer of the first-ever Forever War that has Already Been Won and of a reflecting pool as the improbable, indelible emblem of the shape of the United States on its 250th anniversary. Through that lens, I can understand why people would covet a timeless song of the summer more than a timely one, a song into which they can escape four minutes at a time. But then, looking reality in the eye and denying it is becoming America’s métier. “I don’t wanna know,” Wild Pink wryly sings in another song from this summer, “I keep my head down.” And though Charli XCX is a British citizen, not an American one, she does maintain a home in Los Angeles, and anyway, by this point, the pop star is nothing less than a true Global Citizen. And though the cover of her new album might feature Martin Scorsese, and though David Cronenberg might have a crucial cameo on the record’s closer, her song SS26 makes me think of John Carpenter’s “They Live”: it’s summer 2026 and Charli XCX is making us put on the sunglasses. 

More than any other season, the sensation associated with summer is a fleeting one, which Shakespeare wrote about in Sonnet 18, shall I compare thee to a summer’s day and all that, and in SS26, XCX twists that fleetingness into something else. The title is short for Spring Summer 2026, establishing the context as utterly present tense, a pop song as IMF message from “Mission: Impossible” designed to self-destruct once we reach late September. Her verses and pre-chorus are a patchwork of familiar denials, deflections, and excuses that evoke a modern propensity for saying whatever one must to make it through whatever moment they are in and once they have, wiping their hands clean of it: “No, it’s not my fault / I wasn’t there.” And though Sonnet 18 argued that art is the only way to make something last, XCX is dubious of what that might mean to the people experiencing that art in the moment. SS26 itself is a testament to the value and pleasure of art even as it simultaneously ridicules music, fashion, and film as being unable to save us.

Indeed, in her video for 1999, she recreated the movie “Titanic,” but in the video for SS26, she virtually turns a fashion runway into the Titanic, dressed in her best and prepared to go down blinkered and beautiful. It might suggest a kind of release, yet in the song’s minimalist production and the way it repeatedly teases at shifting into a higher gear only to decline at the last minute, tapering out at the end, XCX impudently denies us the very catharsis we crave. Summer’s over! Now what?