' Cinema Romantico: Will Someone Help Billy Crudup?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Will Someone Help Billy Crudup?

I had planned to see "Watchmen" this past weekend until the following four things stopped me: 1.) An endless deluge of rain in the Chicago area, 2.) Bad reviews, 3.) Northern Iowa's run to an NCAA Tournament birth and, most especially, 4.) Learning that Billy Crudup's character in the film was nearly entirely digitized.

As has been established, Billy Crudup is my favorite actor and why I would plunk down my hard earned money to see the adaptation of a graphic novel I've never read and know next to nothing about to not see my favorite actor is a question I realized I could not answer. So no "Watchmen" for me.

Then I stumbled across an article from Entertainment Weekly in which they wondered which actor from the "Watchmen" would be the biggest star. Of Mr. Crudup they wrote: "If Crudup’s marvelous performance in Cameron Crowe’s 2000 rock film, 'Almost Famous', didn’t make him a star, maybe it’s not meant to be."

Well, that quote just disgusted me. It is meant to be. At least, it should be meant to be. This guy deserves some recognition, some attention, some hyperbolic praise. This guy needs a great script, a script that truly has a "gotcha, suckers" moment. And then it hit me.

Last year's Black List of the 10 hottest unproduced screenplays included one by Liz Merriweather entitled "F--- Buddies", described as the story of "a guy and a girl's struggle to have an exclusively sexual relationship as they both come to realize they want much more." So someone take this script, produce it and cast Billy Crudup and Amy Ryan as the title characters. No ifs, ands, or buts. I want this script made with these two people and I want it made right now.

DO YOU HEAR ME, HOLLYWOOD??? MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!! I SAID, MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!!! IF YOU CAN GREENLIGHT A REMAKE OF "BONNIE AND CLYDE" WITH HILARY DUFF THAN, GOD DAMN IT, YOU CAN GREENLIGHT THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your time.

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