' ' Cinema Romantico: He's (About To Be) Baaaaack

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

He's (About To Be) Baaaaack

Recently Cinema Romantico's infamous Madam of Pop Culture made us aware of a movie entitled - simply - "Nine". But apparently that is as simple as "Nine" is ever gonna get. To begin with, and most importantly, it stars one Daniel Day Lewis which left Cinema Romantico in a state of shock. After all, he was in "There Will Be Blood" back in 2007 and, thus, the timeframe for his next acting job would have been around 2012, 2013.

But nope, the two-time Oscar winner will return to action this winter in Rob Marshall's "adaptation of a musical based on a play based on Federico Fellini's classic '8 1/2'" (what?) which also stars Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Sophia Loren, Kate Hudson, Fergie-

Reader: "What's that?"
Cinema Romantico: "That's Fergie."
Reader: "You mean, Black Eyed Peas Fergie?"
Cinema Romantico: "I believe so."
Reader: "'My lovely lady lumps'? That Fergie?"
Cinema Romantico: "We double checked on IMDB."
Reader: "You're sure?"
Cinema Romantico: "See for yourself."
Reader: "Fergie is in a movie with Daniel Day Lewis?"
Cinema Romantico: "Look, how many ways can I say yes?"
Reader: "Daniel Day Lewis okayed this?"
Cinema Romantico: "Maybe he didn't know?"
Reader: "They have scenes together?"
Cinema Romantico: "I would assume."
Reader: "Isn't that like LeBron James going one on one with Northern Iowa's Kwadzo Ahelegbe?"
Cinema Romantico: "Probably."
Reader: "Do you suppose after one of her line readings he just got fed up and snapped and turned into Bill The Butcher from 'Gangs of New York' and pulled a knife and shouted, 'You see this knife? I'm gonna teach you to speak English with this f---ng knife!"
Cinema Romantico: "One would hope."
Reader: "Do you suppose Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, and Sophia Loren all took turns bashing Fergie upside the head with their Oscars?"
Cinema Romantico: "Why so much hate for Fergie?"
Reader: "I don't hate her, I just want to know where she gets off thinking she can act."
Cinema Romantico: "Well, it is a musical. She had a number one single, you know."
Reader: "'Big Girls Don't Cry'. Oooooooh. Got me there. A regular Billie Holiday."
Cinema Romantico: "She's a singer. That's all I'm saying."
Reader: "But you know to prepare for this role Daniel Day Lewis trained intensively with someone like Juan Diego Florez and that now he's probably a better singer than Fergie ever was."
Cinema Romantico: "Wow. Good point."
Reader: "Do you suppose on the soundtrack Fergie will do a cover of Kylie Minogue's 'Put Yourself In My Place?'"
Cinema Romantico: "Okay. This Q & A session is over. The Dutchess is acting with Hawkeye and we're all just gonna have to accept it and....boy, when I say it loud...."
Reader: "We could commandeer the film and edit her out."
Cinema Romantico: "Hmmmm....."

(Watch the preview here.)

2 comments:

Wretched Genius said...

I'd like to point out that Jamie Fox was once just a second-tier cast member on In Living Color and co-star of Booty Call. Tom Hanks was the wacky guy from Bosom Buddies. Mandy Moore was a third-tier Britney Spears clone and not an actress (a woefully underused, under-served actress).

Not that I think Fergie will do great. But she should get a chance to prove she can do it (she didn't have much to do in Grindhouse, but she didn't come off as terrible, like Madonna did in the twenty seconds of screentime she had in Die Another Day that somehow managed to eclipse a solid twenty minutes of Halle Berry in some form of two-piece outfit to become my primary memory of that film).

Nicholas Prigge said...

Fergie was in "Grindhouse"? I can honestly say I didn't remember that.

I suppose in defense of Fergie I can say she reacted sort of well when she realized she was about to die in "Poseidon". It's not exactly Daniel Day Lewis's flag-draped monologue in "Gangs of New York" but it's something.