' Cinema Romantico: Summer Movie Spectacular Q&A

Monday, April 25, 2011

Summer Movie Spectacular Q&A

As always, with the extravagant summer movie season set to befall us quite soon, even though it's, like, 52 degrees outside and snowed last week, Cinema Romantico sat down with the Hollywood e-zine Film de Cinema for a little question & answer session. The following is the exact transcript.

Film de Cinema: You "famously" walked out on "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." Do you plan on risking a ticket to "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides?"
Cinema Romantico: At first it was a definite hell no. But then I found out Penelope Cruz was co-starring and my mind started playing tricks on me.
FdC: How do you mean?
CR: Well, I keep thinking that maybe Penelope's presence will get Johnny Depp to re-up his game and return to the bravura acting of the first one in the series that yielded the Best Performance Of The 00's.
FdC: So you're saying it's highly probable you will leave a showing of "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" cursing your own name?
CR: Yes, it is.

Can Penelope Cruz be the Joakim Noah to Johnny Depp's Derrick Rose? Or is it the other way around?
FdC: Anything for which you're openly excited?
CR: "Daydream Nation." Totally. Kat Dennings is the new Rosanna Arquette.
FdC: What does that mean?
CR: I have no idea. I'm just trying to get quoted on the poster.
FdC: Anything else?
CR: Can I be honest?
FdC: We're all friends here.
CR: "Larry Crowne." I really want to see "Larry Crowne."
FdC: Sure. The one where Tom Hanks gets laid off and goes back to college and falls for his professor played by Julia Roberts.
CR: Two true blue movie stars in the summer. An old fashioned kinda story. I'm intrigued.
FdC: Did you know Nia Vardalos co-wrote that script?
CR: Oh crap.

Shut up and let me have false hope.
FdC: How about "Super 8", J.J. Abrams' film, wherein-
CR: No, no, no!!! I don't want to know anything!
FdC: I wasn't going to give anything away about the plot! No one knows the plot!
CR: Still! I have to go in fresh!
FdC: "Midnight In Paris" stars your Kate Winslet #2.
CR: And Carla Bruni.
FdC: Who?
CR: Ici vous allez.
FdC: .....sigh.....
CR: Hey! Snap out of it! Her husband could have you killed so just leave it alone.


FdC: How excited are you for "Thor?"
CR: Yeah....not gonna happen.
FdC: But it stars Natalie Portman.
CR: Uh, that's Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman, thank you.
FdC: Right. Sorry. But it stars Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman.
CR: Sorry, but even the presence of Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman can't liven up "Thor" for me. I'd rather stay at home and watch "Black Swan" on DVD.
FdC: C'mon, man, you have got to stop referencing "Black Swan" and Natalie Portman's Academy Award winning performance on here. You're pissing people off.
CR: Okay, okay, sorry. No more references to "Black Swan" or Natalie Portman's Academy Award.

Oops! How did this picture get in here?!
FdC: Thoughts on "The Green Lantern."
CR: I don't know. I'm not sure Seth Rogen can pull of a superhero.
FdC: No, no, you're thinking of "The Green Hornet."
CR: "The Green Hornet?"
FdC: "The Green Lantern" stars Ryan Reynolds.
CR: I thought Ryan Reynolds was Captain America?
FdC: "Captain America" is Chris Evans. That comes out in August.
CR: And that's the movie where Robert Downey Jr. turns up as Iron Man?
FdC: That's "The Avengers." That's supposed to come out next year.
CR: Next year? When does "The Green Hornet" come out?
FdC: It already came out. In January.
CR: January? What about the new "X Men" movie? Did I that miss that one, too?
FdC: Nope. You're good. That comes out June 3rd.
CR: Super. And that's the one with James McAvoy as Wolverine?
FdC: No, he's taking over Professor Xavier. Hugh Jackman is still Wolverine.
CR: Hugh Jackman is in the new "X Men" movie?
FdC: He's in "The Wolverine." That comes out in 2012.
(Cinema Romantico collapses on the floor.)
FdC: We need some smelling salts over here!
(Film de Cinema gives Cinema Romantico smelling salts.)
CR: Okay. I'm good. Sorry about that. Continue.

Ryan Reynolds as The Green Lantern, not to be confused with Seth Rogen as The Green Hornet or Chris Evans as Captain America in "Captain America" and "The Avengers" with Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man and Chris Hemsworth as Thor, also starring in "Thor."
FdC: On a lighter note, how about "Friends With Benefits?" Intrigued?
CR: What's that one about?
FdC: Well, this guy and this girl decide to start sleeping together with no strings attached.
CR: Wait, didn't I already see that?
FdC: Uh, sort of. It was called "No Strings Attached." It came out in January. It starred Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman.
CR: (Throat clear.)
FdC: Sorry.....Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman.
CR: This summer sucks. Is there anything original?
FdC: Let me check my notes. (Checking notes.) "The Hangover 2." "Cars 2." "Kung Fu Panda 2." "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2." "Spy Kids 4." "Final Destination 5." A remake of "Conan the Barbarian."
CR: You're killing me here. Give me something. Anything.
FdC: Well, there is one movie I haven't mentioned yet but I'm not sure I should.
CR: Please?
FdC: Eh......
CR: I'm begging you!
FdC: "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." Hey! What are you doing?! Get off that ledge! GET OFF THAT LEDGE!!!!!!

The Two Horsemen Of The Apocalypse.

8 comments:

Wretched Genius said...

I'm not excited for Thor either, but I will see it just to see how Kenneth Branagh handles directing a big-budget summer blockbuster. And hey, Kat Dennings is in this movie, too.

What about Malick's The Tree of Life? Or John Sayles' Amigo? Of John Madden's interesting-looking The Debt (even if Madden's filmography is, to put it nicely, inconsistent)?

Wretched Genius said...

Also, look at this list of cast & directors.

Nicholas Prigge said...

Wait, what? "Movie 43?" Kate Winslet is playing Juliet Hulme? That's the name of her character in "Heavenly Creatures!" What's going on?! I just fainted.

Castor said...

Ah The Wretched Genius beat me to it but I was starting to get a seizure at the lack of The Tree of Life love!

Movie 43 sounds like Paris, Je t'aime but with an even better cast!

Nicholas Prigge said...

I should have mentioned "Tree Of Life" (and I am excited to see that) but I just sort of got swept up in the sequel-itis narrative.

david said...

I'm thinking about seeing Hesher in May.

Vancetastic said...

Awesome post.

Wait, Kenneth Branagh is directing Thor? That is ridiculous.

Nicholas Prigge said...

Yeah, I didn't realize Kenneth Branagh was directing "Thor" or that Kat Dennings was in it either. This is why it's nice to work for Cinema Romantico. We only have to research the movies we want to see.

Which brings me to "Hesher". Which I also didn't know anything about it. Which further proves Natalie Portman was contractually obligated to be in ever other movie in 2011.