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Thursday, April 07, 2011

Ultimate Piece Of Movie Memorabilia

So this past weekend the infamous, uh, nude drawing of Our Greatest Working Actress (i.e. Kate Winslet) in the 1997 blockbuster/masterpiece "Titanic" was auctioned off. It was expected to reel in a cool $16,000. Lord Almighty. And this, as it must, got me to thinking. If you had access to unlimited funds and the ability to bid on one - just one - piece of movie memorabilia, what piece would it be?

The wheels started spinning. I couldn't stop them. Oh, what to choose?! Naturally my mind first leaned toward the wig Uma Thurman wore as Mia Wallace in "Pulp Fiction" but that could very easily lead to assumptions that don't need to be made and so let's just forget I said it. Thanks. Hmmmmm. Maybe Chingachcook's War Club from "Last of the Mohicans"? I'd hang that baby over my mantle. The ghost trap from "Ghostbusters" could be a dining table centerpiece for special occasions. I could put The Big Board up in my living room.

Just think, I could re-enact this moment for excited guests! "But...he'll see everything! He'll see The Big Board!"
I could keep the original Busy Bee behind glass ("this......is a fish"). I could stash a copy of Jesse Wallace's "This Time" on my book shelf. I could put Bob Harris's Suntory Whiskey ad up on the wall next to my "Bonnie and Clyde" poster or put Rod Tidwill's Waterbed Warehouse Ad next to my "Chinatown" poster. I could bust a move to my Autobahn LP. I can't play guitar but I might learn if I could get my hands on Russell Hammond's axe.

I could sit in Max's chair whenever I felt "kind of surly." I could slice up my New York Strip with Alec Baldwin's steak knives or drink coffee out of my Clementine Kruczynski mug.


I could have worn Robert E. Lee Prewitt's floral print shirt to my friend Daryl's luau wedding. I could wear Ferris Bueller's vest to a Cubs game and/or to the Art Institute. I could wear Indy's hat or Jake Gittes's hat or Captain Harry Morgan's hat out and about for Halloween. No, wait! I could rock Paulie Bleeker's headband! No, no, no, no! Better yet, I could wear Captain Jack Sparrow's hat ("not without my effects")......only, of course, if it's been authenticated as being worn in the first movie. An "At World's End" Captain Jack Sparrow hat won't do. Not for this kind of money.


Nope. None of those are doing it for me. I can't decide if......wait.......I think......yes......yes......that's it! THAT'S IT!!! That's what I'd buy! Of course! It was so obvious! I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out!


If I have a big interview, I'll get on my game face by shadow boxing in the Mo Cuishle Robe.

If I have to call a girl I kinda like on the phone, I'll psych myself up by stalking around my apartment in the Mo Cuishle Robe.

If Nebraska is trailing in the 4th quarter and even the Tommie Frazier Jersey is lending no magic (see: 2010 Big 12 Championship Game), I'll put on the Mo Cuishle Robe.

So, anyone know if it's for sale? And if so, where I can acquire unlimited funds? And also, what would you buy? If you had unlimited funds.

7 comments:

Jacob said...

Can we assume that things like the Millenium Falcon or a working Light Saber are off limits? So it would have to be something that could actually exist in this world. The Dude's bowling ball would be pretty high on my list.

Wretched Genius said...

This. No hesitation, unless there's some way to get a fully-functional one of these.

Wretched Genius said...

It should be noted that I actually have tried to bid for the prop guns from "Aliens" before. They periodically will show up on memorabilia auction sites for anywhere between $900 and $5,000. Obviously I've always been outbid.

Nicholas Prigge said...

The Dude's bowling ball. I like it. You could put it on the mantle beneath a photo of Nixon bowling. And add a replica of The Dude's rug. It'd be a whole theme.

And Brad, now all I can imagine is you walking around in your front yard in the loader from "Aliens." Man, that would be awesome. This needs to happen.

Daryl said...

So Nick, you don't want Uma's wig because it might appear unmanly... so you go with a woman's silk robe?

Castor said...

The Chewbacca mask in Step Brothers ah!

Nicholas Prigge said...

Daryl: 1.) Dude, she's a boxer. It's not a lounge-around-the-tanning-salon robe. 2.) I think we both know Maggie Fitzgerald (and probably Hilary Swank, for that matter) are less feminine than I am.

Castor: A Chewie mask would be pretty cool. Although if I wanted anything from a Will Ferrell movie it would probably be his jazz flute.