' Cinema Romantico: The Art Of Eating Movie Theater Popcorn

Thursday, August 04, 2011

The Art Of Eating Movie Theater Popcorn

This past Saturday I bought movie theater popcorn for the first time in over a year. I bought it last June for "Knight & Day" because, come on, it was "Knight & Day!" Cruise, Cameron, and a summer afternoon. What do you want from me? I bought popcorn this past Saturday for "Cowboys & Aliens" because, uh, the freaking name of the movie was "Cowboys & Aliens." Like, triple dog duh. I had to buy popcorn. And it made my stomach hurt really bad. But that's not the point.



The point is that when I buy movie theater popcorn I tuck it away and wait to dig into it until the movie I paid to see begins, whereas it seems most purchasers of movie theater popcorn woof down on it before the start of the movie and during the movie ads and the coming attractions and by the time the movie they paid to see fires up, they're all done. And then I'm the one guy in the theater eating popcorn. And because I'm a George Costanza-like neurotic I become worried everyone in the theater no longer eating popcorn can hear me eating popcorn and that they are all most likely getting annoyed with this lone popcorn-eater.

But I can't help it, and I can't because it makes no sense to me why someone would want to shell out so much for popcorn just to eat it all during AMC's "First Look." I came to see a movie and I'm eating my popcorn during the movie.

Am I nuts? Do you save your popcorn for the real movie or eat it all the moment you sit down? Or do you just refrain from popcorn completely? Thankfully I won't have to buy any again until next summer for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter."

7 comments:

Wretched Genius said...

It sounds to me like everyone involved is doing it wrong. This is America. We're supposed to buy the 2-gallon bucket (with extra butter, which is totally OK because we only got a small Diet Coke as the drink and they cancel each other out), allowing us to continuously eat popcorn throughout the preshow, the trailers, the film, and the walk back to the car afterward. Duh.

Jacob said...

I don't save my popcorn, but I do get the refill and bring it home. This is not because it is so expensive that I want my money's worth, nay. It is because my wife loves movie popcorn more than, well anyone else I've ever met. Let me tell ya, you get some strange looks getting more popcorn after the movie is over and just walking out the door. There is no cool way to sit on a subway with a full bag of popcorn in your lap.

Nicholas Prigge said...

Brad: Ah, I see your point. That is the American way. In fact, the concessionist did try to upsell me on my small popcorn, but I stood firm.

Jacob: That, my friend, is true love. Or self-inflicted torture. Definitely one of the two.

Ashley said...

When I was a kid, I used to save my popcorn until the movie started. Now I'm just so damn excited to eat the popcorn that I don't bother to wait. My friend Addy says you can pay more attention to the movie if you're not eating popcorn (and therefore eats most of it beforehand), but it seems that what you're seeking here is a distraction from some shitty movies, so maybe that is the whole point.

Do you remember that time you brought the huge garbage bag full of popcorn back from work? And it lasted for weeks? This would have been when we were 19 or so. That was so awesome.

Also, I never thought about getting the large and refilling it to take home. That's a pretty fantastic idea. Though I can see the challenge in bringing it home on the subway (or a bicycle, in my case).

Nicholas Prigge said...

Yeah, I only ever eat popcorn for big summer movies, in other words movies that don't require quite as much attention.

And I definitely remember the giant bag of popcorn. The Cobblestone/Shack Summer. And, in fact, Jacob, you might want to consider just taking a trash bag to the theater the next time you go and filling it with popcorn. You'll get some really strange looks then but you can avoid as many strange looks down the road. Everybody wins!

Castor said...

You crazy folks, stuffing yourself with popcorn! I don't have this problem of saving the popcorn for the show because I can't even finish eating a single small bag. And please stop with the butter, it absolutely reeks! In any case, I never buy popcorn, I use to get them for free when AMC had that old reward program (the new one is terrible)

Nicholas Prigge said...

Believe me, I'm off popcorn for at least 365 days. Maybe more this time. My body was not pleased with me.