' ' Cinema Romantico: Dear Nicole Kidman

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dear Nicole Kidman

You're a fantastic actress. Whenever someone asks me to list my Top 5 Favorite Actresses, I include you. Did you know that? I put you in my Top 5 Favorite Performances of 2010? Did you know that too? A lot of people get on your case about the plastic surgery and the fact your forehead doesn't move but I got your back. So what if your forehead doesn't move? You're still better than 96.4% of actresses whose foreheads do move. You're like Michael Jordan during the second three-peat. You know, he couldn't jump and dunk like he used to so he perfected that fadeaway jump shot and he got to the free throw line. You're all like, "Yeah, my forehead doesn't move, so I'll just f--- your s--- up with this line reading and with this lip tremble and with not reacting when you expect me to react. How you like them apples?!" Long story short, I respect your skills. But...


I got mad when you starred in an Adam Sandler movie. I did. I'll admit it. I won't try and cover it up. But I cooled off about it. These things happen. I understand. You probably wanted to upgrade the solarium and put an aquarium in the den. That's cool. But...

Now you're starring in a Nicolas Cage "I'm Super Duper Broke, I Need Cash And I Need It Now, So I'll Make Anything! Do You Hear Me?! ANYTHING!!!" Movie.

IMDB tells me your next film is an Intrepid Reporter Investigates A Death Row Case that co-stars (gulp) Zac Efron and......Matthew McConaughey? What?! Adam Sandler to Nic Cage to Matthew McConaughey?! Who's next, Dane Cook?!

I'm not saying you've gotta go for the Oscar every time out, Nicole, but there are enough actors and actresses out there slumming in schlock to make the world go 'round. Come on, girlfriend, we need you on our team. Come back to where you belong. Please.

Sincerely,
Cinema Romantico

6 comments:

Red said...

What see did in 2000-2005 was absolutely unprecedented, and loved what she did in Rabbit Hole.

She deserves a money maker every now and then, although I will admit seeing her mentioned in three films like the ones you mentioned is quite disheartening. She does seek out avant-garde roles quite often, so I'm not too worried.

Nick Prigge said...

Truthfully, I'm not worried either. It just struck me as odd that those are her three most recent films.

Part of me actually wants to see "Trespass" if only because I'd like to think Kidman secretly took the part solely to challenge herself to see if she could out-overact Nicolas Cage.

Castor said...

She is washed up!! Get over it!!!!! :P

Nick Prigge said...

How dare you, sir. How DARE you.

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

How dare he indeed, hmm Nick? I'm curious, I tell you, curious to check out this Nic Cage flick only for Nicole. I was on this long stretch of watching none of his films, and then this pops up and I wonder how I can say no to Nicole. Sigh, the dilemmas of being a cinephile.

I'm not worried, but why CAN'T she go for the Oscar on every try? We already know she's not human, she doesn't have to pretend that she is by starring in these movies.

Nick Prigge said...

You make a good point, I wouldn't have paid this film even the slightest bit of attention without her presence. But now.....