' ' Cinema Romantico: How To Win An Oscar In One Easy Step

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

How To Win An Oscar In One Easy Step

Two time Oscar winner Daniel Day-Lewis would appear the early odds on Oscar favorite for Best Actor for his upcoming role as one Abraham Lincoln in Steven Spielberg's forthcoming biopic. But Oscar-less Bill Murray has staked pole position as his challenger by playing one Franklin Roosevelt in the forthcoming Hyde Park On Hudson, when FDR and his wife Eleanor went on a retreat with King George VI and Queen Elizabeth.


Upon seeing the trailer, the Oscar-less Tom Cruise immediately announced his intention to play one James Madison, centered around Madison, Alexander Hamilton and John Jay writing The Federalist Papers.

Upon hearing the Oscar-less Cruise's announcement, the Oscar-less Leonardo DiCaprio immediately announced his intention to play one Theodore Roosevelt in a film centered around the formation of the Rough Riders.

Upon hearing the Oscar-less DiCaprio's announcement upon hearing the Oscar-less's Cruise announcement, the Oscar-less Johnny Depp immediately announced plans to star in a Presidential biopic called Old Rough and Ready. "Zachary Taylor," Depp told the Palm Springs Examiner, "is sort of the Hunter S. Thompson of the Oval Office."

Upon hearing the Oscar-less Depp's announcement upon hearing the Oscar-less DiCaprio's announcement upon hearing the Oscar-less Cruise's announcement, the Oscar-less Edward Norton immediately announced plans to star, produce and direct a biopic about President Rutherford B. Hayes. "Depp wants to get obscure?" he told the Palm Springs Examiner. "I see his obscure and RAISE him!" 

Upon hearing the Oscar-less Norton's announcement upon hearing the Oscar-less Depp's announcement upon hearing the Oscar-less DiCaprio's announcement upon hearing the Oscar-less Cruise's announcement, the Oscar-less Harrison Ford immediately announced plans to star in a very subpar thriller.

2 comments:

flixchatter.net said...

What is it about biopics that the Academy loves so much?? Wow, that is a ton of people all clamoring to play a historical figure. I do think Mr. Murray has an edge here though, I don't know, just my gut feeling. Love him in that 'Hyde Park On Hudson' trailer.

Vancetastic said...

Nice. Though everyone knows that if you are digging out obscure presidents, you go with James Polk.