' ' Cinema Romantico: "Lincoln" Will Be The Greatest Movie Ever Made, Unless It's The Worst, Or Possibly Inbetween

Saturday, September 15, 2012

"Lincoln" Will Be The Greatest Movie Ever Made, Unless It's The Worst, Or Possibly Inbetween

If you were unaware, the first trailer for Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln", the film starring Daniel Day Lewis as the 16th President himself, who Tom Sherak said via Twitter a few weeks ago had already won the Oscar for Best Actor before the Tweet mysteriously disappeared 117 minutes later, hit the interwebs a couple days ago. Let's break it down.

 

1.) (Insert forced, unfunny "Where are the vampires?" joke here.)

2.) There is going to be so much spew about Daniel Day Lewis's voice until this movie is finally released I can already feel myself getting sick of it. Do you know the line "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend"? I feel as if Day Lewis has decided to print the fact - which is to say, Abe's voice, as has been documented time and again, wasn't Obama's. If you want the legend then perhaps you can wait for Michael Bay's movie "Abraham", which will feature Will Patton as Lincoln speaking with a deep baritone AND killing vampires. (Ha ha!)

3.) The film is scheduled for release Novemeber 9. I will probably see it on that day or a few days after. I will decide then, and ONLY then, what I think of it. Seems reasonable, yes?

No? It doesn't? I have to judge it NOW? After a TRAILER? Ugh. Fine. Let's see...

"Lincoln" looks like the most authentic film ever made about a President that pulls no punches and tells it like it really was.

Unless...

"Lincoln" looks like that hack Spielberg doing hackey things in a hackneyed film shrouded in sentimental fog.

4.) Why isn't "Stolen" out in Chicago yet? Seriously, can't you help out a guy with a Malin Akerman crush?

This is a photo of Malin Akerman, who is NOT in "Lincoln" but who IS in "Stolen" which opened yesterday in "select" cities of which one Chicago is apparently not.

4 comments:

Rory Larry said...

What is with the Will Patron vitriol?

flixchatter.net said...

Ahah, somehow I thought Malin was in Lincoln!! Well if this is gonna be as sentimental as War Horse, I'm skipping it. Bring on the vampires!! Er, sorry... ALVH was actually quite fun, I mean Abe was jumping from horse to horse whilst wielding an ax, what's not to love?? :D

Nick Prigge said...

Rory: I don't have anything against Will Patton! Honest! When I thought of Michael Bay, I thought of Armageddon. And so then I thought, well, who from Armageddon would be best for Lincoln? And Will Patton was the first named that jumped in there. So I said him.

Ruth: The trailer does have a bit of that War Horse feeling, doesn't it? Oh boy. I mean, it's DDL. I see everything the man does but he's not what worries me here...

Vancetastic said...

A little worried by this trailer as well, but I have nothing beyond that to add. (Well, except that both of Spielberg's 2011 films underwhelmed me.)