' Cinema Romantico: 5 More Incredible Instances of #PenelopeCruzHair

Thursday, February 11, 2016

5 More Incredible Instances of #PenelopeCruzHair

Because Cinema Romantico’s most popular post in months involves Penelope Cruz’s hair thereby re-proving the fallacy that my analysis actually counts for anything, and because the abundance of Every Coen Brothers Movie Ranked listicles in the lead-up to “Hail, Caesar!” caused the anti-listicle factions to throw social media hissy fits, and because Cinema Romantico suffers from a debilitating need to always give the people “what they want” (wait, what?), and because Penelope Cruz’s hair is set to overwhelm what’s-his-face and who’s-he-again? tomorrow on the silver screen in “Zoolander 2”, today we present a few more cinematic instances of #PenelopeCruzHair that are certified #unforgettable.

Note: Cinema Romantico is not a licensed stylist and so instead these hair assessments will be piles of unbridled blogging emotionalism that might not make sense. We do not apologize.

5 More Incredible Instances of #PenelopeCruzHair

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Her Oscar winning turn as Maria Elena is like a tropical cyclone running on rum, fruit juice and grenadine which is why it’s appropriate that her hair always looks like it just came in from the 157 MPH winds outside.

Blow

If you are paramour to El Americano of the Medellín Cartel you need hair with a net worth of $10 million. Therefore you have Ms. Cruz.

Manolete

I confess, I’ve never seen this movie about Adrien Brody as the famed titular bullfighter and Ms. Cruz as Lupe Sino, if only because the buzz on it was south of the critical equator. But mostly I haven’t seen it because despite its based on a true story genesis I just want to imagine it as a Technicolor telenova with Brody doing his Salvador Dali voice and falling in love with Cruz’s character when he spots her magical coiffure and renounces bullfighting in honor of its resplendence.

Vanilla Sky

As the antithesis of Cameron Diaz’s rococo character, Cruz functions as a respite with her impeccable bangs framing a sea of tranquility face.

Volver

Though “Volver” was based on writer/director Pedro Almodovar’s own upbringing in La Mancha, he shed keen insight on where you’re from through soap-opera-ish story devices like ghosts and murder. It was real yet elevated, existing on a plain that was at once familiar and just beyond our grasp, kinda like Penelope’s hair, which might be hair as we know it and comb it in the mirror every morning, but is also beyond our capacity for rational cosmetology thought.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I grew my hair out for two years after my first viewing of "Volver."