' Cinema Romantico: WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

WHAT IS HAPPENING?



Is this.....

An impromptu meeting of two Class III Dignitaries of the Hollywood Glitterati?

An Auramoji wielded by social media users to express an aura of luxurious luminescence?

The moment right before Amy Adams slips away after having slipped a mickey into the glass of champagne in her right hand that Vin Diesel takes and tosses back?

Cover of the new Peter Mayle book in which a pair of mixologist grifters roam up and down the California coastline? 

A promo photo for a remake of “The King and I” called “The Queen and I”?

A promo photo for “American Hustle 2”? In which Amy Adams plays an actual English aristocrat rather than a make-believe one who, along with an unlikely salami-making safecracker (Diesel), hatches a plot to steal the Crown Jewels?

A promo photo for “XXXy”? A sequel to “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” in which Xander Cage becomes embroiled in some Himalayan what-have-ya, gets locked up in a remote, high-tech prison and has to be rescued by Yvonne Wyre, sort of the Ilsa Faust to Xander Cage’s Ethan Hunt?

A promo photo for a crossover between the “Fast and Furious” franchise and “Talladega Nights” in which Susan somehow, improbably, finds her way into the high-stakes world of street racing and both talks Dom Toretto out of retiring to open a California Pizza Kitchen and wins a street race in an Acura?

Promo for the new Diesel-Adams Talk Show, which is like a variation on the Hathaway/Franco Oscars in which Amy Adams is extremely accommodating and working really hard and Vin Diesel is all like “Do you even cliff dive, bro?” and if they say no he just turns his back.

The first ad in a re-launch of Proper Penguin Frozen Gourmet Dinners?

Amy Adams: “The Oscars ran long, surprise, surprise, and traffic getting home was awful. How am I supposed to put together an after-after party for 8 important friends in 20 minutes?” 
Vin Diesel: “What about Proper Penguin?” 
Amy Adams: “Oh my gosh. I totally forgot.” 
Vin Diesel: “An entire gourmet spread right in your freezer. Hamachi crudo. Maine scallops. Foie Gras with burgundy truffles. Artisinal cheeses. Even a mini-bottle of King Louis Cognac.”

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