Oscars 2019: Best Dressed

Hi, y’all! It’s Saturday February 23rd! That means the 91st Academy Awards are not until tomorrow! And that means the Red Carpet is still over 24 hours away, slated to get rolling around 3:30 PM (PST) with Jamie Luner, Brooke Theiss, Heather Langenkamp, and JoAnn Willette, former co-stars of the wacky ABC comedy “Just the Ten of Us” (1987-90), scheduled for hosting duties along with Ryan “I Didn’t Know There Was A 1976 ‘A Star Is Born’” Seacrest. As such, we have no idea what any of the Oscar megastars will be wearing until then. Still, one need not actually see Saturn’s rings through the window of a passing spacecraft to know its circular water ice is the universe’s most luminescent. And one need not actually see Lady Gaga’s dress to know it’s already the most chic.

That’s why today Cinema Romantico will go ahead and declare Lady Gaga as Oscar 2019’s Best Dressed. This is not confirmation bias, of course, because we do not yet even have evidence to be biased about, and this is certainly beyond the reach of any fashion market research, whether based on data-driven industry analysis or the whims of the “Just the Ten of Us” daughters. No, this is merely ahead of time inherent cosmic truth.

Speculative living sketch of Ms. Gaga’s Oscar dress