' ' Cinema Romantico: What Else Could Tom Cruise Hang From?

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

What Else Could Tom Cruise Hang From?


A couple weeks back the Interwebs were sent into a tizzy by the image of Tom Cruise hanging from the side of a speeding train in next year’s “Mission: Impossible” movie. This, of course, has become the “M:I” calling card of Cruise – actor, producer, stuntman. In “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” he hung from the side of the world’s tallest building; in “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation” he hung from the side of an airplane as it literally took off; in “Mission: Impossible – Fallout” he hung from a payload hanging from a helicopter. And though you might suggest that Cruise hanging from a train in “Mission: Impossible 7” brings it all full circle since he hung from train in the first “Mission: Impossible” lo so many years ago in the summer I graduated from high school (therefore not to be named), this is Tom Cruise we’re talking about. You think he’s just going to call it a hanging-off-stuff day after hanging off a train once more for old time’s sake? Please. If I know anything about Tom Cruise, besides being the recipient of a Freedom Medal of Valor, it’s that he is always – always – just getting started. So. What could he hang from in “Mission: Impossible 8”? Thanks for asking! 

A few possibilities:

Hubble Space Telescope

This goes without saying.

Space Shuttle

Too difficult to film on the Hubble Space Telescope? Just film Cruise clinging to a shuttle as it lifts off from Cape Canaveral. Can’t imagine NASA doesn’t want to be in the Tom Cruise business.

Artificial Cloud

The 2022 World Cup humanitarian disaster is being held in Qatar where, as everyone knows, it can reach upwards of 250 degrees. That’s why artificial clouds are being constructed to help cool the fields. So what if Ethan Hunt’s mission, should he choose to accept it, has something to do with an artificial cloud heist during the World Cup Final in which the artificial cloud becomes an artificial thunderhead, leaving Ethan Hunt dangling from the artificial cloud amid artificial lightning strikes?

Petronas Towers

Cruise could hang from Tower 2 after performing a standing broad jump from Tower 1.

Kingda Ka

What if Cruise hung from the tallest rollercoaster in the world...for the entirety of its 28-second ride?

Submarine

I have long dreamed of an Angelina Jolie movie where she breaks into a submarine while it’s submerged. But maybe like Angie took the baton from Tom for “Salt”, Tom could take the theoretical baton from Angie, hang onto the submarine as it dives and then perform an impossible underwater break-in. Who says no?

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