My Christmas List (Part 3)

And so our holiday celebration comes to a rousing close with the unveiling of my All Time Top 10 Favorite Movie Characters. It is important to note these are not necessarily THE 10 greatest characters of all time. These are MY 10 favorite characters of all time. Hence, the likes of Vito Corleone, and Scarlett O'Hara, and Rick Blaine, and Bonnie Parker didn’t make the cut. These are not just actors giving good performances, these are actors embodying their characters. They are ingenious creations of the writer (for all characters come first and foremost from the writer, and don’t you forget it), as well as the actor and director.

Of course, there are far more than 10 great characters and I was forced to leave off many of my personal favorites - unforgettable characters like Alma Burke, and Alicia Hueberman, and Clementine Kruczynski, and Peter Venkman, and Rob Gordon, and -of course - Hawkeye (who was probably #11 if only because I didn't want two characters from the same movie on the list). But as great as all of them are, my ten go above and beyond them and into the realm of legendary.

The first four on my list make me nod, smile, and say, “Yup. I know where those characters are coming from. I FEEL them.” Oddly, they all meet ends that are tragic in one way or another. Is there something to that? Quite possibly, but let’s pretend there’s not. The remaining six are all characters I love with a passion deep and true – they are the essence of why we go to the movies. Three of them are the funniest characters I’ve ever seen - one is a movie character I’m deeply in love with – one hijacks a film he only appears in for 20 minutes - and one is The Big Man's Wife.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays, and Seasons Greetings (just to ensure all my bases are covered).

1. Alice Munroe, “Last of the Mohicans. Definitive Moment: Every moment is definitive. The plight of Alice Munroe is - to these eyes - a summation of the entire human existence.

2. Jake Gittes, “Chinatown”. Definitive Moment: My goodness, take your pick. I’ll go with the look on his face when Elevyn Mulwray makes her most stunning revelation yet. A guy who always thinks he's a step ahead is sent to the back of the line with authority. It wrecks me every single time.

3. Maggie Fitzgerald, “Million Dollar Baby”. Definitive Moment: Maggie’s impassioned speech to Frankie Dunn, convincing him to train her (“Truth is, this is the only thing I ever felt good doin’”). The most pure, the most perfect piece of cinema I've seen in years.

4. Robert E. Lee Prewitt, “From Here to Eternity”. Definitive Moment: When he returns to find another solider chatting up Donna Reed ("We may seem all alike. We ain't all alike.") It's an anguish I can understand.

5. Harry Lime, “The Third Man”. Definitive Moment: Well, you could go with arguably the finest entrance in movie history. Or you could go with arguably the finest speech (concerning cuckoo clocks, amongst other details) in movie history. But I’ll cheat and go with both of them.

6. Captain Jack Sparrow, “Pirates of the Caribbean”. Definitive Moment: As our rogueish hero and his new partner in crime attempt to take over a British warship, the snobby redcoat captain advises his vessel cannot be commandeered by a mere two men. To this Sparrow shoves his pistol into the captain's face and declares in his buccaneer drawl, "Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"

7. General Buck Turgidson, “Dr. Strangelove”. Definitive Moment: As it becomes clear the United States is about to inadvertantly start a nuclear war with the Soviet Union, General Turgidson suggests rather than allowing the Soviets time to launch a counter-strike the U.S. begin an all-out assault to catch the Soviets with their "pants-down". (President Muffley: "You're talking about mass murder! Not war!" General Turgidson: "Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.")

8. Mia Wallace, "Pulp Fiction". The smile she shoots herself in the bathroom after "powdering her nose". A character summed up in a single expression.

9. Celine, “Before Sunrise/Before Sunset”. Definitive Moment: In the first one, when she lays in the park with Jesse and declares: “Why do I have to make everything so complicated?” Who couldn’t love a woman like that?

10. Otto, “A Fish Called Wanda”. Definitive Moment: His terrible impression of CIA agent "Harvey Manfrengensenten" dissolving into a diatribe about Britain’s supposed superiority complex.

Merry Marilyn!

Marilyn Monroe is the most beautiful woman ever to have graced this earth. Wait, let me rephrase – Marilyn Monroe is the most beautiful woman ever to grace a movie screen. I’ve been guilty of many screen crushes, as have we all. (Julie Christie in “Darling”. Donna Reed in “From Here to Eternity”. Katie Holmes in “Pieces of April”.) But, oh, the glory of Marilyn.

One of the many blessings of residing in Chicago is that for the entire month of December the Gene Siskel Center has been hosting a Marilyn Monroe film festival. Last Saturday I watched her final film, “The Misfits”. Tonight I will be attending my favorite Monroe movie, “Niagara” (I’ll also be drinking a Newcastle while watching it, and maybe even two. Thus, consider me over the moon.)

I’ve seen both of them on my trusty 20 inch television set – and while I can’t yet speak for “Niagara” – I can say “The Misfits” on TV is no match for the power of 35 mm film. It’s often said that Marilyn Monroe looked better in a photograph than she did in person. I believe it should also be said that she looked better on film than she did in a photograph. Much, much better.

Seeing dear Marilyn up there on the big screen unleashed a torrent of beauty unmatched. Would words do it justice? I think not, yet I’ll attempt it anyway. You can’t help but be drawn to her. It doesn’t matter if she’s the primary focus of the shot – off to the side of the frame – hovering in the background – or barely in the frame – by God, she calls your attention. There’s a shot in “The Misfits” in which the camera lingers on Monroe as she sleeps in the passenger’s seat of a car. It is nearly celestial in both its beauty and restraint. (Thank God some modern day director wasn’t there to muck it up with 24 different quick cuts.)

Now, it must also be stated that Monroe’s performance in “The Misfits” (the role was written specifically for her by then-husband Arthur Miller) is arguably the most self-conscious performance ever given on film. By self-conscious, I mean extremely aware the camera is running and you are in front of it. When she is drinking a bottle scotch in “The Misfits”, she knows she’s drinking a bottle of scotch. When she is dancing by herself after drinking too much of that same scotch, she knows she’s dancing by herself. This was filmed after she had gone through the famed Actor’s Studio and she performs the entire time as if she is still in acting class – loaded with acting “tics”. This is why she was always more of an icon than an actress, but why am I quibbling? This is like standing on the Golden Gate Bridge and whining there’s a spot of bird residue on one of the railings.

“The Misfits” was a world premiere of a restored print of said film and afterwards the man responsible for the restoration – John Kirk – spoke to the audience. The most troubling aspect of his address was a revelation that the decline in movie theater ticket sales as well as the dramatic increase in DVD sales has led to the possibility of the end to not only film restoration but also the death of 35 mm film itself. Much like Mr. Kirk, I agree this would be a crime of epic proportions. I understand the convenience of DVD and the fact that the glut of bad movies may you keep away from the theater. But there are quality films that reach your local Cineplex from time to time and they deserve (demand!) you to see them the way they were intended to be seen. (Note: That’s why some of us made it to the theater a total of 4 times to view “Million Dollar Baby”.) You can’t compare a DVD to 35 mm. If you disagree, I urge you to make it to the theater the next time a Marilyn Monroe movie is revived in your city or perhaps a city nearby. But first re-watch it at home on DVD. When you see it before viewing it on the big screen, you will realize there is nothing remotely close to resembling even a hint of a comparison. The woman born as Norma Jean is the definitive proof that film must not die.

At one point in “The Misfits” Clark Gable sits down beside everyone’s favorite blonde and remarks, “It’s a real honor sittin’ next to you.” Boy, it must have been.

King Kong Lives

“He did the damn thing better than I did.”
- Bob Dylan

So said Dylan in regards to the cover of his song “All Along the Watchtower” done by Jimi Hendrix. I, of course, never knew the directors of the original “King Kong” but I think it may be reasonable to assume they would say the same thing of Peter Jackson’s version of their historic movie. And now that I’ve sat on it for 4 days, I feel safe saying this – the new version is better than the original.

Don’t get me wrong, the original will forever hold its place among the most triumphant moments of cinema. It was and will remain a milestone. But Jackson (and his other screenwriters, Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens – don’t forget them) takes the blueprint of the original and expands on it greatly. He takes a film that was nothing more than sheer spectacle and turns it into a touching, moving tale of a Beauty and a Beast.

King Kong himself is a wonder. The CGI looks good, sure, but he actually has a soul. (Are you paying attention, George Lucas?) He is the last of his kind left behind on the infamous uncharted Skull Island. This Kong is portrayed as one lonely fellow and Naomi Watts' Ann Darrow is presented as the remedy to that loneliness. She juggles for him. She willingly sleeps in the palm of his hand. He throws her over his shoulder as they go for a "jog" through the jungle. And anything that threatens this companionship is going to put our gorilla friend in a foul mood.

In the role made famous by Fay Wray, Naomi Watts provides some of the finest green-screen work ever done. She doesn't just shriek (though she does that well when required to). She gives her character far more shading. She comes to a gradual understanding of who this beast really is.

One of the best changes from the old film to new film comes in the third act when the setting switches back to Manhattan. Rather than Kong tracking down Ann Darrow and hauling her off to the peak of the NYC landmark against her will, she comes to Kong as a way of calming him down and stopping his destruction.

But it is the humble opinion of this writer that the most masterful stroke by Jackson and his gang was to turn the character of Jack Driscoll (played ably by Adrien Brody) into a screenwriter. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. I’m completely and unabashedly biased. Well, I am. So what? I don’t care. I loved it. The male actor is presented as a coward and the director as an egomaniac. But the screenwriter? He’s the hero. That is – without a doubt – one of the most accurate depictions of a screenwriter in film history. And when he is relocated to an animal cage on the ship far below decks while the actors and directors and producers all were allowed to stay in cabins, I wanted to grab the guy next to me and say, “That’s so true!”

Let me sum it up this way - in the original, at the end, when Kong is on top of the Empire State Building, swatting at the bi-planes, I knew I was supposed to feel something - if only because it's so much a part of film lore. But in the new version, during the recreation of that finale, Ann Darrow steps in front of her favorite beast, waving her arms, hollering for the planes not to shoot. This time I did feel something - genuinely. I'll be honest, damn it. I teared up a little. And that's the difference. That's what sets it apart.

(Footnote: When a director hits his first movie homerun – which Jackson did with his “Lord of the Rings” Trilogy – he is pretty much allowed to make whatever he wants for his next movie. But if he hits a homerun on that movie, too, he is then allowed to do pretty much whatever he wants for the rest of his career. So, Mr. Jackson, if you choose to do a claymation remake of “The Godfather Part II” with a Black Sabbath soundtrack and Ray Romano as the voice of Michael Corleone, the only question you’ll hear is – “Will 150 million cover it?”)

My Christmas List (Part 2)

And so the celebration here at my dear blog continues today with my second Christmas list. Our question today is, what makes a great cameo? It's a tricky recipe that doesn't always wind up tasting good. Sometimes a good cameo can redeem a not-very-good movie (see a famed athlete showing up toward the end of "Dodgeball"). Sometimes a good cameo ups the ante of an already excellent movie (see Samuel L. Jackson in "Out of Sight"). Sometimes a cameo warms my heart even though it's not really very good and everyone else in America hated it (see Madonna in "Die Another Day"). Sometimes what would have been an awesome cameo is ruined by it being given away before the movie even comes out (see Alanis Morisette in "Dogma"). And sometimes a cameo is the greatest thing since Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (see Bruce Springsteen in "High Fidelity").

But enough yammering, what do you think? Let's get to the good stuff. My All Time Top 5 Favorite Movie Cameos. Feel free to disagree.

1. Alec Baldwin, “Glengary Glen Ross”. This is an actor who doesn’t get enough love. He’s always good. Even in the god-awful schlock of “Pearl Harbor”, he somehow manages to be the only actor to maintain his or her dignity. And in “Glengary Glen Ross” he gives his finest turn. Don’t get me wrong, the character is clearly the creation of David Mamet’s pen and Mamet deserves a solid share of what’s right about this character. But Baldwin still had to play it, and elevates him above merely a cardboard-cutout villain. He’s a real estate agent from “downtown” meant to scare the “bums” into closing their deals (“Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers!”) If they don’t close, they’re out. He’s menacing. He's despicable. He places wealth front and center. In short, he's a perfect representation of corporate America.

2. Amanda Peet, “Changing Lanes”. This is an undervalued performance in a criminally undervalued movie. I’m convinced if it had cut the “second” ending (obviously tacked on at the asinine request of some clueless studio executive) it would have been more successful and better received. But don’t let anyone fool you, this is a quality film. And at the center is this absolutely devastating cameo that should have netted her an Oscar nomination, regardless of how brief it is. As the spouse of Ben Affleck’s lawyer, she meets him in a restaurant and gives a monologue that – to sum it all up – basically says, “Life is nothing but a steaming pile of crap. Deal with it.” And then she’s gone. Well, she shows up again for the “second” ending but I like to pretend that scene doesn’t exist.

3. Christopher Walken, “True Romance”. I doubt there’s anyone anywhere in the world that has ever mentioned this movie without making the following comment – “It’s worth it just for Christopher Walken.” That’s the definition of a great cameo. The esteemed film critic Roger Ebert invented the term “Walkenizing”. And in this film Christopher Walken’s “Walkenizing” is at its highest level. He plays an associate of a mob boss sent to locate the drugs with which Christian Slater has absconded. To find them, Walken interrogates Christian Slater’s father – played by Dennis Hopper. And Walken is as ominous as he is comical. One moment he’s punching the father in the face and the next he’s pontificating on the great Italian pantomime. But the best moment comes in the form of Walken’s expression when the father actually displays the bravado to stand up to him. He’s not just taken aback, he’s amused and even happy – he finally gets to kill someone for the first time since 1984.

4. John Turturro, “The Big Lebowski”. In theory, there is no reason for this character to be in the movie. If he were removed, the film would not suffer structurally. But we would have been deprived of one of the single funniest scenes to come out of film in the 90's. The first time we meet Turturro's over-the-top bowling god Jesus we see close-ups of everything defining the character – his bowling glove, his hairnet, his twisted expression. Then he tosses a strike, backs up, turns, and a Latino version of “Hotel California” kicks in as he busts a groove and tosses a threatening look toward his trio of adversaries. After this we get his profanity-laced monologue. If you’ve seen the movie, you know it by heart. If you haven’t seen the movie, you don’t deserve to have me mention even a single line. Rent it, and find out for yourself. But just remember, no matter what you have to say about him, that creep can roll.

5. Charlie Sheen, “Being John Malkovich”. So let’s say you’re making a film called “Being John Malkovich” in which John Malkovich, of course, plays himself, who would you make John Malkovich’s onscreen best friend? If you answered Charlie Sheen, you’re correct – though I doubt that’s what you answered. That certainly isn’t what I would’ve guessed when I walked into the theater to watch it but once Charlie Sheen turned up I quickly realized there was not another actor alive who could have so ably portrayed John Malkovich's Best Friend. Suffice it to say, Charlie Sheen nails himself. ("Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover. Sounds like my kind of gal. Let me know when you're done with her.")

Syriana

Watching “Syriana” I was reminded of a mantra I keep during my own screenwriting travails – The Personal is Political. Personally speaking, I don’t like overtly political films. "Syriana" is overtly political. I suppose it succeeds it at being a political statement but it's supposed to be a movie, remember?

The writer/director of “Syriana” is Stephen Gaghan, who also wrote the Academy Award winning script for "Traffic". "Traffic" was an episodic film with mutliple storylines as was "Havoc" - the film he wrote and executive produced earlier this year. Judging by his last two projects he really needs to try his hand at a good old fashioned chamber piece.

At the start we find there may or may not be a merger between two American oil companies. A lawyer is charged with investigating the merger. And Matt Damon works for a some sort of energy company. He is trying to cut a deal with a Saudi Arabian Prince.........I think. And George Clooney is disowned by the CIA............for some reason. But then he goes vigilante..............and, oh, I don't know. I couldn't keep it all straight. I was really trying to, I swear, but this is one of the most complex, weirdly structured movies I've ever seen.

The movie also tries at various points to humanize its characters. The lawyer has a father who's an alcoholic. Matt Damon loses his son. George Clooney has gained 40 pounds. I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure he gained it solely as a way of providing his character some "depth". See, there just isn't any depth. Why do I care what any of these characters are doing? Because America and oil companies are evil?

In "Traffic" Gaghan understood that Personal is Political. Michael Douglas was America's drug czar but the primary story concern had to do with his daughter. Benicio Del Toro was caught up in a war between Mexican drug cartels but the primary story concern had to do with him trying to save his partner. The human elements overshadowed all the political drama. But here it's the other way around.

One of the dozens of "primary" characters was an Arab who through a series of scenes I barely remember winds up taking on a suicide mission in the name of faith. And as this Arab's moment of reckoning came to pass, all I could think during what should have been a horrifically gripping scene was, "Who's this guy, again?"

And now, re-reading my review, I'm not even sure if it makes any sense. It seems confusing. Perhaps you're confused, too. Good. I hope you are. Now you know how I felt while watching "Syriana".

My Christmas List (Part 1)

In this season of lists – specifically Christmas lists – I have decided to get in on all the list-making. During the month of December I will provide three of my own lists concerning the wonderful world of cinema. We will start today with my All Time Top 5 Favorite Movie Openings, and follow up in the coming weeks with my All Time Top 5 Favorite Movie Cameos and All Time Top 10 Favorite Movie Characters (because you can’t limit that category to a mere 5). So pour a cup of celebratory eggnog – spiking it with whatever you wish, though I would, of course, recommend rum – and enjoy. Here are the best movie openings………

1. “Manhattan”. A beginning as close to poetry as the movies have ever produced. It’s a black-and-white ode to Woody Allen’s favorite city, complete with Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” and a killer voice-over. For anyone who may desire learning how to properly write voice-over, this is your lesson plan. It’s done in the form of Allen as a novelist attempting to come up with a beginning of his new book about the greatest city in the world, except he keeps starting and stopping – not satisfied with what he has written ("Let's face it, I want to sell some books here.") But at last he hits it (just in time to coordinate with the most powerful part of the chosen Gershwin tune) with, “It was his city, and it always would be.”

2. “Boogie Nights”. The precedent for this opening was set by Orson Welles’ “Touch of Evil” – an extended tracking shot that seems to last forever. But the shot in “Touch of Evil” is to movies as Bill Haley and the Comets were to rock ‘n roll. The opening to “Boogie Nights” is Elvis. The camera starts sideways, showing the marquee of a club that bears the same name as the film, and then tracks around to the car carrying Burt Reynolds and Julianne Moore. It then follows them inside – never cutting – as we are introduced to every major character we will be spending time with over the next two and a half hours. And “Best of My Love” is the perfect song to accompany this journey of the camera, though I still don’t know how writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson knew it would work so well.

3. “Heavenly Creatures”. Peter Jackson’s greatest film starts as what appears to be a documentary concerning the cozy town of Christ Church, New Zealand. It’s filmed on that horrible ‘70’s film stock with quaint narration – almost like something you would’ve watched in Driver’s Ed or perhaps Home Ec class. But then the sound starts to frazzle, it gets louder, the narrator fades out, and boom! We cut to a shot of two teenage girls, blood streaking their faces, running and screaming. A freaked-out woman races out of her home to meet their cries – “It’s mother!” the girls yell. “She’s terribly hurt!” Cut to black. Who?! WHAT?! WHERE?! WHEN?!Why?! I hope they show this opening in film school (but they probably don’t).

4. “Bananas”. Woody Allen, again? You better believe it, though this time the opening passage is much more comedic in the form of the first play-by-play assassination in film history. We open with the late sportscaster Howard Cosell announcing he is in the capital city of the island country San Marcos where the President is “about to be assassinated”. Then we get Cosell’s aforementioned play-by-play. And once the predictable melee has broken out after the shooting, Cosell fights his way through the crowd to garner a one-on-one interview with the dying President shouting, “Let us through! This is American television, damn it!”

5. “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. As Mr. Wilhelm once said of Cosmo Kramer at the New York Yankee ball, “Wow! What an entrance!” From the inventive transition shot of the Paramount logo to the real mountain peak we follow this figure in the Fedora – only seeing his back. But finally, he steps out of the dark and into the light – revealing our hero (say it with me!) Indiana Jones. Then he goes into the cave, encountering one spectacular action-movie set-piece after another. The open cavern he has to first swing over and then jump over minutes later. The rolling ball. The booby-trapped room. On and on, all to recover a single precious statue. And after all that – after nearly dying numerous times – what happens? He loses the statue to his French rival. Indy goes from invincible to vulnerable in a matter of moments. Brilliant.

Christmas is All Around

This Christmas if you decide to settle back with a nice cup of eggnog and a movie to provide you the spirit of the season, I would recommend with extreme diligence you pop “Love Actually” into your DVD player. This will put you in the holiday mood like nothing else, I guarantee.

It is the first of its kind – an epic romantic comedy. There are many great actors and many, many stories – some loosely connected, some not. As with any movie involving multiple storylines, some are going to hit, some are going to miss, and some are just going to kind of lay there like me after indulging in a bit too much festive holiday rum. That being said, the ones that miss or choose to lay there do not detract too much. In some cases they even have redeeming qualities of their own.

The strongest story to my eyes concerns Liam Neeson and his step-son, Sam, who has just found his one, true love. Together they plot how Sam can win her heart, settling on Sam taking up a musical instrument because “for God’s sake, even Ringo Starr got a Bond girl”. And I won’t even tell you how this subplot manages to work in a clip of “Titanic”.

Also great is the tale of aging rocker Billy Mack attempting to land the #1 Christmas single on the music charts (“you know as well as I do the record’s crap”). Every scene involving him is laugh-out-loud funny and I can also say upon further reflection that Bill Nighy should have landed an Oscar nomination for his work here. Seriously. Nighy’s final scene is simultaneously hilarious and poignant as he reveals his true feelings even though he can’t help but launch rock-star poses as he does so. I also valued the courtship of the English author (Colin Firth) and the Spanish maid, neither of which speak the other’s language. And then there is heroic, bumbling Colin who is convinced if he goes to America and walks into any bar he can get a woman solely on account of his British accent.

I will let you discover whether this theory proves to be correct.

Wait, I almost forgot about the Prime Minister (Hugh Grant at his most charmingly inept) falling in love with his assistant! You’ll want to cheer when he stands up to the U.S. President in the name of love (and country) and then gets on his groove thang at 10 Downing Street. Who among us hasn’t busted a move or two in a moment of triumph?

Unfortunately, with so many goings-on there are subplots bound to fail, and a few do. The tale of the stand-in’s, while generating some laughs, could have been cut. Laura Linney’s office-romance falls flat on its face. Alan Rickman’s own office romance just doesn’t generate enough bite to be worthy of mention, but it does allow Emma Thompson to give one of the best performances in the movie. Her near-breakdown with a Joni Mitchell song hovering over it is a thing of acting beauty. And Kiera Knightley has absolutely nothing to do in a fairly useless side-story but be preposterously radiant – which she does with aplomb. But this story does contain one of the movie’s sweetest moments involving a boom-box and cue cards.

Will Sam declare his feelings to his one, true love before her plane takes flight? Will the English author declare his true feelings to the Spanish maid? Will the Prime Minister declare his true feelings to his assistant? Why are you even asking those questions? Allow me to go off about telegraphing plot resolutions, if you please.

I saw the Tom Hanks film “Road to Perdition” in the theater and was fortunate enough to be seated next to a woman who insisted on yakking through the whole thing. (I am now providing a spoiler alert – skip ahead to the next paragraph if you don’t want to know the ending of the aforementioned film.) At the conclusion, Tom Hanks and his son are in a beach house and a shot is held (as I recall) on a window looking out at the ocean. Now, to backtrack a bit, a hit-man played by Jude Law had been injured by Tom Hanks – though clearly not killed – earlier and hadn’t been seen for the last quarter of the film. But you KNOW he’s in the house and you KNOW he’s going to kill Tom Hanks. That’s what makes the scene so tense. But the yakking lady next to me, during the whole scene, tells her friend in a very self-congratulatory manner, “Jude Law’s in the house. Watch, he’ll shoot Tom Hanks.” Then it happens. And then the lady says, “I told you. I told you that would happen.” I wanted to turn to her so badly and scream, “Thank you, Sherlock Holmes!” OF COURSE, he’s in the house, you moronic excuse of a movie-goer! THAT’S THE POINT!

So yes, the conclusions to many of “Love Actually’s” storylines are foregone conclusions but that’s the point. The resolutions to all the stories are not really what matter. The beauty lies within how the resolutions are reached and how damned happy we are when they finally are reached.

The theme of the movie boils down to this – when the character played by Mr. Bean shows up for the second time at the end of the movie to provide Sam a key assist in his quest, ask yourself if you would do in the same situation what he does. If you would, this movie’s for you. If not, maybe this movie isn’t for you. But by then you’ve almost sat through the whole thing, anyway, and maybe – just maybe – you’ve become a bit more of a romantic yourself.

And that’s not so bad, is it?