Showing How It's Done

Let me open with the following disclaimer - I'm a complete devotee of director Michael Mann. If you make "Last of the Mohicans" you get a free pass for life, of course. But if you also make "Heat" AND "The Insider" you get a free pass for any number of lives that may follow. Mann disappointed me a bit with "Ali" but then rebounded spectacularly with "Collateral". Now he's back with "Miami Vice. In an interview I read regarding said movie Mann commented, "I had zero interest in pastels or art-deco." That's the Michael Mann I love.

The title "Miami Vice" is quite misleading in actuality and that's ashame. I fear the title will drive many people away thinking it to be a campy rehash of the infamous TV show from the 80's when, in fact, such a sentiment could not be further from the truth. It bears pretty much no resemblance to the TV show. The only similarities would be a character named Crockett and a character named Tubbs. That's it. What you'll find here is more raw and gripping and tense and, quite frankly, the best "summer movie" of the year.

"Miami Vice" is undeniably a Michael Mann film. If you know his style, you'll recognize here it instantly. The stylish clothes. The gritty good guys. The gritty bad guys. Fast cars (and fast speedboats in this case). A killer soundtrack (the movie score, anyway). Many scenes at night specifically to allow for luminous shots of sprawling city lights in the background. Spectacular locations (a mansion at Victoria Falls in particular). Shots that linger unexpectedly. Stingy dialogue that bites with ferocity.

The story concerns Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) going deep undercover to assist in bringing down an international drug lord but perhaps they wind up getting in too deep. If you think you've heard this before that's probably because you have. But nothing Mann does is routine. He always gives his films a soul. Here he focuses in on a relationship between Farrell and a woman he meets while undercover. It's not as complex as what he gave us in in "Heat" but it's 100x more deep than what you normally find in the steaming months of summer. In filmmaking God is in the details and Mann pays great attention to the details. What he can do with a character simply buckling up the seatbelt for another character is downright amazing.

The action sequence near the end is a doozy. Machine gun fire rat-a-tat-tat's away in the night as most of the key characters come face to face. But Mann has always been smart enough to know the possibility of never seeing a loved one again is much more gruesome than a bullet in the head. This movie is no exception.

Lately, Cinema Romantico has been criticized for providing too many spoilers. Number one, reviews are by nature spoilers. That's why I avoid them if I want to see a movie. Number two, all those movies were bad and Cinema Romantico did not want you spending your hard earned money on entertainment that did not live up to its namesake. But "Miami Vice" deserves your hard-earned money. You will be rewarded. And so Cinema Romantico will say no more.

Well, nothing except for this. Nothing - literally nothing - will prepare you for the moment involving a female cop (played by Elizabeth Rodriguez who I must admit to being wholly unfamiliar with) delivering an update on the famed Eastwood "Dirty Harry" speech. As a person who never talks in the theater even I found myself saying aloud to no one in particular "wow".

"Miami Vice". See it. Believe it. That Michael Mann - he's gone and done it again.

The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote

Today I received a deeply unsatisfying response from the AFI (American Film Institute) in regards to my written request to retro-actively name "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" as the 47th Funniest Movie of All Time. While AFI "thanks" me for "clear loyalty" to said movie, it is unable to make "any addendums" to its list. However, they "sincerely hope" I make a "contribution" to their "organization".

How dare the AFI so hap-hazardly deny my request. It's clear these bozos have no idea what makes great comedy. I decided to take a look at the what the AFI considered to be the 10 funniest movies of all time. Needless to say, their list was not impressive.

"Some Like it Hot" - I suppose it's okay if you like drag. Also, there's no time travel.

"Tootsie" - See above.

"Dr. Strangelove" - Nuclear holocaust is simply unable to compete with humpback whales.

"Annie Hall" - Bones is just as irritated as Woody Allen.

"Duck Soup" - Sophmoric when compared to the wit of "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home".

"Blazing Saddles" - Which would you choose - bean farts or Captain Kirk flipping the "bird"?

"MASH" - Elliot Gould is just a poor man's Leonard Nimoy.

"It Happened One Night" - Clark Gable is just a poor man's William Shatner.

"The Graduate" - Uhura could kick Mrs. Robinson's ass.

"Airplane!" - Tactless when compared with the class of "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home". Also, there's no time travel.

I think that settles the debate. These ya-hoos at the AFI don't know true comedy when they see it. So no, AFI, I won't be making a contribution. Instead I'll thumb my nose at you and, regardless of what you have to say, Cinema Romantico will recognize "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" as precisely what it should be - the 47th Funniest Movie of All Time.


Gillian: "That's not what he said, farm boy. "Admiral, if we were to assume these whales are ours to do with as we please, we would be as guilty as those who caused -- past tense -- their extinction." I have a photographic memory. I see words."
Spock: "Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?"

Like a Kid in a Candy Store

Before we delve any deeper into the film I saw last night (a certain film featuring a young Harrison Ford in a brown fedora) allow me to spout a few adjectives describing its quality. Rollicking fun. Pulse-pounding. Huge, massive gulps of fresh air. A true cinematic wonderland. Or as J. Peterman said of the "pants story" told to him by Cosmo Kramer - "That is one ripping good yarn."

Going into the theater last night I was of the opinion "Raiders of the Lost Ark" was the finest action movie of all time. And now, having finally viewed it on the big screen, I believe it even more strongly. It's the best. It's not even a contest. It's a virtual extravaganza of exceedingly brilliant shots (I could watch the sequence at Marion's bar in Nepal a hundred times for the camera-work alone) and action setpieces and a blueprint for how to write this type of movie.

And I didn't just hear Indy saying to Marion, "It's important. Trust me." I heard it echoing all throughout the grand old theater that is the Music Box. It gave me shivers. And goosebumps. I had goosebumps damn near the whole time. And the unforced smile.

Watching it last night took me all the way back to my childhood. During the sliver of time when there was a VCR war between Beta and VHS (and yes, this war DID exist, which only indicates how old I am) our family chose the wrong side and bought a Beta. And I remember - years after Beta had become extinct - sitting in the basement of our house on 220 Third St and indulging in a Beta copy of the "Raiders of the Lost Ark". These indulgences often led to me tying my own variations of a whip around the brown couch posing as the truck hauling the ark. I would use my plastic green light-saber as the Staff of Ra to feign locating the location of the Well of Souls.

Remembering all this last night triggered something in me. As I've gotten older, I have become a card-carrying member of the film snob movement. I am, of course, quite proud of this. I love being able to go on rambling diatribes about how "Chinatown" is not simply a story of a murder mystery but a full explanation of the meaning of life. I throughly enjoy being able to proclaim that I have seen every Kate Winslet movie ever made (raise your hand if you've watched "Jude" AND "Hideous Kinky"). Being a cinema snob is great fun - at least to me. But I've come to realize some things can get lost in all this snobbery.

Pretty much all of my favorite movies now are movies I came to as a so-called adult. There just aren't a lot of movies left that I enjoy now as much as I enjoyed as a kid. "Star Wars", for sure. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". "The Wizard of Oz". And "Raiders of the Lost Ark". These are movies that were awesome when I was young and continue to be awesome as I grow older. They transport me back to a much more innocent time. The importance of these types of movies is immense.

Whenever I would watch one of those good old-fashioned action movies, my dad would inevitably would stroll in at some point and say, "Did they get away again?" For instance, if he walked in during "Star Wars" he would ask, "Did they get out of the trash compactor again?" That's a reassuring thing. There comes the point in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" when Indy is fighting the big, bald Nazi and Marion is locked inside the plane's cockpit and the fuel truck is spewing gasoline everywhere. But every time Indy defeats the big, bald Nazi and he gets Marion out of the locked cockpit and they both flee the plane seconds before it explodes from the spewing gas. Every time. This will never change. They will continue to escape for the rest of my life and should I ever have kids when I force them to watch the movie they will still continue to escape.

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" was a masterpiece of filmmaking when I was a child and it remains that way. But it's more than just a masterful movie. Yesterday was a day I needed to feel young. Desperately. "Raiders of the Lost Ark" made that happen. And I know that it always will.

Lady in the Water

It was fairly hard to avoid the negative buzz surrounding M. Night Shyamalan's new film "The Lady in Water". I attempt to avoid reading reviews of movies I want to see by any means necessary, and I did succeed. Even so, I still knew it was getting wretched reviews and that Shyamalan was being referred to as some type of ego-maniac who had gone off the deep end. He originally took the idea for this movie - which he based upon a bedtime story he used to tell his daughter - to Disney (which had produced all his previous films) only to have them shun it. He then left Disney, went to a different company and had an author chronicle all these details as well as the making of his new movie.

After viewing it yesterday I can certainly see why Disney would be so quick to balk. "The Lady in the Water" is original and certainly unconventional. Mention those words to studio executive and you'll see eyes bulge and panic attacks set in. So perhaps Shyamalan burned his bridges by shunning Disney. Perhaps he is the owner of a hefty ego. I don't know, but what I do know is the movie I saw is not worthy of the beat-down it's getting.

Oh, it's not without flaws. In fact, it's got a whole of heap of 'em. But what movie doesn't? At least "The Lady in the Water" is trying to be something. That's more than you can say about most summertime "entertainment" meant for us to "escape".

The movie is essentially a fairy-tale come to life. A narf (apparently a creature that lives primarily in water, hence the title) appears in the pool of the apartment building which Cleveland (Paul Giamatti) manages. She has come to see a particular person, to lay her eyes on him, and advise him he will change the world. But once she has done this, she has issues getting home courtesy of some type of mythical beast - called a Scrunt (if memory serves) - that is out to stop her from getting home.

In order to help her get past the Scrunt and get back home Cleveland realizes he needs to fully understand the legend of the narf and then follow through in real life with the specifics of the legend. And soon he finds himself caught up in a children's fairy-tale. Personally, I found this premise very intriguing. It stays true (for the most part) to what it is and does not waver from its desire to be a children's fairy-tale. It follows that idea right through to the end, even forsaking the infamou "M. Night Shyamalan Twist".

In the most inspired sequence Cleveland needs to figure out precisely what characters would appear in the story at a particular juncture if it were, in fact, a fairy-tale (which, of course, it is). He consults the film critic who has just moved into the complex. The critic advises what stereotypes to look for in people to match the necessary characters. This concludes with a delightful scene in which a gaggle of people are gathered around a shower while one has to find key clues to the whole situation in a crosswold puzzle.

At the same time, the film critic is also the largest flaw of the whole movie. Shyamalan must not have been pleased in any capacity with the chilly reception for "The Village", his last film. The film critic is not simply the villain. I mean, Shyamalan has got it out for this character. His demise is quite brutal, if not also the most over-the-top scene. It's no wonder this movie is getting bad reviews. You show a critic in the harshest light possible and that's pretty much guaranteed to happen.

People will also read deeply into Shyamalan casting himself as the writer our heroic little narf has come to specifically to see. She has come to tell him he will finish the book he's currently attempting to write and that this book will change the world in many provocative ways. So the writer/producer/director himself is playing an apparent savior while the film critic is portrayed as the root of all the apartment complex's evil. I don't like to read into things too much but how can you not read into this?

Bryce Dallas Howard as the narf herself is a little wooden, though I don't think that's necessarily her fault. You wouldn't think the title role would be the most underwritten part but it is. However, it doesn't matter because Paul Giamatti more than picks up the slack. Oh, how good Paul Giamatti is in this. He is the rock. He grounds every absurd situation. Even when he's facing down a scrunt in the apartment lawn amidst the sprinkler system you believe it completely. His performance will be quickly forgotten and that's a shame. A damn shame. I would go so far as to say this is the best performance I've seen to this point this year. He carries it through every rough patch (and there's a lot of those). Even though Shyamalan chooses to saddle the character with a stutter (the most ancient of all character tics) Giamatti still sells it. I pray he's not forgotten come Oscar time, but he will be.

I know this probably does not come across as a glowing review even though I've indicated I liked the movie. It's not a great movie - far from it, actually. I don't even know that I'd call it good. Maybe I'll say it's sort of good. But, damn it, I always respect a movie that makes an effort and doesn't just set itself to cruise control and wait for the box office returns. And the "The Lady in the Water" makes an effort to be something besides being exactly what I expected. Therefore, I congratulate it.

The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote

Today Cinema Romantico came to the realization the bulk of the quotes for The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote have been coming via three characters - Kirk, Spock and Bones. I mean, as we all know there were other characters in this universe and they too deserve some time in the spotlight with this already revered blogging tradition. So today Cinema Romantico decided to post a quote of the beloved Sulu.

There was only problem - Cinema Romantico could not recall a single memorable quote of the beloved Sulu. This could simply be a result of Cinema Romantico not remembering or could it be result of the fact Sulu actually did not have a single memorable line of dialogue in the movie. After all, these things tend to happen to lesser characters when William Shatner is around. But Cinema Romantico was still gosh darn determined to honor the beloved Sulu and wracked its brains trying to come up with something, anything, that could be considered memorable for the beloved Sulu. That's when we came up with this..........

Do you remember the scene in which Sulu is flying the helicopter? And he looks above him and flips a switch on some type of control panel? And accidentally and "hilariously" the windshield wipers turn on?

There you go. That's his moment.

Long live Sulu.

Why I Love the Windy City (Part 2)

This weekend I will be watching "Raiders of the Lost Ark"...........on the big screen.

Need I say more?

Bon Voyage

In the dead heat of summer and with American blockbuster after American blockbuster being thrown at you sometimes it's a good idea to foray down the avenue of foreign cinema. This is precisely what I did on Sunday. I rented "Bon Voyage", an absolutely wonderful French film made back in 2003.

I have no idea why I do not indulge in more foreign movies. Most of the time when I do it is an utter treat. One of the best films I saw all of last year was "Housewarming", a French comedy. And one of the best comedies I've ever seen period was "The Dish", an Australian movie from 2001. Your typical American comedy enlists a couple A-list stars, puts them front and center and essentially ignores everyone else in the film for fear of angering the "money" (see "The Break Up"). Whereas "The Dish"concerns itself with creating a full gallery of characters, all of whom are funny and all of whom are endearing. And that's another thing. "The Break Up" makes a sudden and jarring attempt to get serious and pull off a true emotional payoff. But it fails miserably because it never paved the way for this turn. But in "The Dish" they pepper in small poignant and dramatic moments throughout the film so when its emotional payoff comes, it works. You feel the tug on your heartstrings and it's not at all manipulative. I'd like to sit the makers of "The Break Up" down, show them "The Dish", and force them to take extensive notes.

In that regard, I'd like to sit numerous American moviemakers down in front of "Bon Voyage" to show them how it's done. Many American movies are trying to be all things to all people, only to exceed their grasp. At first glance, "Bon Voyage" would appear to be ripe for an excessive grasp but its director Jean Paul Rappeneau never lets this happen. It weaves together comedy, drama and melodrama with grace and skill. It juggles numerous characters and several plotlines but never ever lets events lag and never lets confusion overwhelm the viewer. It's pacing is extraordinary. It knows when to charge forward frenetically and it knows when to reel back in and slow things down.

It is set in France at the onset of World War II. Viviane, a famed French movie actress, has just killed a man (in self defense, she says) who comes to her house late at night. She summons her childhood friend and perhaps (?) love interest Frederic to help. He puts the body in the trunk of his car only - through a series of inevitable hi-jinks - to wind up in front of a police station with his trunk wide open.

He winds up in jail but this coincides with the Germans marching into Paris. Frederic is handcuffed to another prisoner but they both make a daring escape and flee Paris on a train, headed for Bordeaux in the south of France. Naturally, they meet up with Viviane, who also happens to be in a relationship with France's Minister of State who is attempting to decide whether to continue war. Meanwhile, a physics Professor and his beautiful assistant are attempting to flee France with a gaggle of heavy water meant for use with an atom bomb. Also meanwhile, a French journalist who is secretly in league with Nazis is attempting to track down said heavy water for evil purposes.

You may not think it, but I have only skimmed the surface of the plot. There are many more developments and goings-on and other characters that come and go. It's extravagant fun. And it all comes down to a scene in which our hero Frederic comes face to face with both women in his life. The way it happens would perhaps seem over the top at first glance but it will make you laugh and smile warmly at the same time. It sums up the grand achievement which this film is.

I would highly recommend you say bonjour to "Bon Voyage" (ba-da-bing). You will have a smile on your face for the whole two hours, I promise.

The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote

Today your dutiful blogger is struggling through a sore throat but still at the office. (That's the dutiful kind of employee this blogger is.) Small potatoes, you may say? Well, when your line of work consists of talking on the phone for 8 hours there comes a point when the entire inside of your mouth becomes numb and you wish you had never been born.

But this blogger does not intend to stop being dutiful despite the fact the phone absolutely refuses to stop and two of his co-workers have called in sick. Therefore The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote will go on. Though suffice it to say that today's Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote will be used to reflect my current state of mind. I ask that you imagine me to be Bones and the two interns to be two of my cheery co-workers who do not have to be on the phone at any point during the day.


Intern #1: "Weintraub says radical chemotherapy or she's gonna croak."
Intern #2: "And Gottlieb?"
Intern #1: "Well, what'd you expect? All he talked about was image therapy."
Bones: "Unbelievable."
Intern #1: "You have a different view, Doctor?"
Bones: "Sounds like the god-damn Spanish Inquisition."

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: The Curse of the Sequel

Have you heard the adage that sometimes a filmmaker does not recognize what his best about his or her own movie? It's not necessarily that the filmmakers for "Pirates of the Caribbean 2" don't realize what's best about their movie but that they're unwilling or afraid to use it as much as they should.

"Pirates of the Caribbean 2" is a unique situation in cinema history. Johnny Depp's peformance in the first film as Captain Jack Sparrow was to the eye of this particular beholder far, far, far and away the finest peformance by any actor (male or female) thus far of the new millenium. And how often does an actor get to reprise a role of such immense proportions? And let the record show that Captain Jack Sparrow is most definitely back - the facial expressions, the reaction shots, the double-takes, the walking that isn't so much walking as a wonderous combination of mincing, prancing and wobbling. One can only assume it will be stated that Depp is not as good as he was in the first movie. Well, of course he isn't. How could he be? Nothing like his performance in the first movie had ever existed or even been attempted. Ever. It was an invigorating breath of fresh air.

This time around Captain Jack Sparrow is being tracked by Davy Jones, therefore Captain Jack must locate the key that opens the chest that contains Davy Jones' heart in order to keep his life. Meanwhile our other heroes from the first movie, Will (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), are set to be married only to have the marriage postponed due to the fact they are both threatened with execution due to their helping Jack Sparrow escape in the previous movie. To stave off execution they must also track down the key to the chest at the request of an evil English Lord.

Depp aside, the first "Pirates" movie was bloated but at least it rooted itself in the spirit of buccaneer B-movies from the 3o's and 40's. The new one seems more rooted in the spirit of special-effects laden summer blockbusters. Which is to say it falls prey to another one of those film adages - sequels must be more, more, more. The action sequences this time around are more concerned with trying to be eye-popping than rousing. Midway through Jack Sparrow and his crew visit a tavern in the pirate port town of Tortuga and only here does the movie re-gain the energy of the first one. A fight breaks out. And this leads to another fight. And soon the entire bar is in a fight. And as it goes the fiddlers squabble away in the background. And amidst all of this Jack Sparrow sashays about in time to the music avoiding everyone and everything. This is creative and exciting, much more so than a gigantic computer-generated octopus rising from the depths to........zzzzzzzzzz.........whoops! Fell asleep for a second! My apologies.

Look, this movie should have belonged to Johnny Depp. It was Depp that caused the first one to rake in millions of dollars worldwide. It was Depp who got not one but two sequels to be greenlit. In that regard, the writing lets him down. The first time around he was given good lines that he was able to elevate to great. But here he gets dozens of weak lines which he elevates to tolerable. Again, only once does the writing rise to the heights of the performance. Elizabeth, who through a series of events, has wound up onboard Jack Sparrow's ship, finds herself in a bit of verbal ping-pong with the Captain. Keira Knightley has certainly progressed as an actress since the first movie and it shows. She seems to light more of a fire under Depp when they share the screen. Not just in the mentioned scene but also look for the smile Depp gives her near the end (you'll know it when you see it). But they can only do so much with what they've been given. Mr. Depp brought his A-game but the writers and director did not do likewise. They seem more concerned with the giant octopus and making sure the characters with lobster claws for hands look way cool.

The best effect in the movie has nothing to do with CGI. The best effect in the movie is the simple act of Johnny Depp walking. I just hope the filmmakers remember that for the third installment.

The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote

Today Cinema Romantico has decided it's high-time to go on the offensive through the wonderous forum that is The Seasonal "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" Friday Afternoon Quote. All this recent discussion regarding comedic films has put me in what we'll call A Thinking Man's Mode. If you will recall, several years ago the American Film Institute named the 100 Funniest Movies of All Time. And if you will also recall, "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" was nowhere to be found on the list.

This is a crime of proportions which mocks colossal. And Cinema Romantico refuses to simply sit by and allow such a senseless oversight to continue lingering. I urge you to write the AFI at once requesting they make a long overdue addendum to their Top 100 Funniest Movies list. What do you think, #47? Does that sound good? "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" should be retroactively named the 47th Funniest Movie of All Time. Our letters may not and most likely will not change a thing but they will put a smile on the face of some poor intern forced to read the AFI's "fan" mail on an otherwise usual dreary day. So, everyone - take a stand. This is your chance to make a "difference".


Kirk: "It's not always necessary to tell the truth.
Spock: "I cannot tell a lie."
Kirk: "You don't have to lie... you could exaggerate. You've done it before. Can't you remember?"
Spock: "The hell I can't."

Where Has All The Comedy Gone?

On the 4th of July, amidst much merriment, my friend Becky informed she had just viewed the classic Billy Wilder comedy "Some Like it Hot" on the big screen. This led into a discussion regarding how amazingly brilliant said movie was and the fact that so few comedies in this day and age can compare to the old days of Hollywood. Not just "Some Like it Hot" but not much anymore compares to the satire of "Dr. Strangelove", or the wit of "Annie Hall", or the verbal complexity of "His Girl Friday". (I consider "A Fish Called Wanda" to be the finest straight-up comedy ever made and it isn't technically from the golden age. But it did come before I turned into a cinemaphile. )

But in a wonderous twist last night Daryl chose a random DVD from my collection for us to watch in order to try and recover from that same merriment of Independence Day. Lo and behold, it was "Wag the Dog". And re-watching it allowed me to recall that sometimes the filmmakers of this day and age can equal the so-called Golden Age.

"Wag the Dog" was made in the late 90's by Barry Levinson with a script from Hilary Henkin and (the one & only) Mr. David Mamet - a genius if there ever was one. The characters are well drawn and the dialogue is absolutely crackling. It sparkles. It's marvelous line after marvelous line after marvelous line after marvelous line after marvelous line after marvelous line after.......but I think you get the point.

The film is set on the eve of the Presidential election. But it seems the President has been accused of sexual harrassment. Thus, the President's advisor Winifred Ames (Anne Heche) calls in Conrad Breen (Robert DeNiro) to help distract the American public from the issue at hand. His idea? Create the "appearance" of a war with Albania. ("It's not a war. It's a pageant. Like the Oscars.") In order to stage this war they go to Hollywood producer Stanley Motts (Dustin Hoffmann) and it doesn't take him long to set the "pageant" in motion.

Midway through we get a comedy setpiece that must be ranked among the greatest of all time without argument. They travel to a movie studio to film a short scene of an "Albanian refugee" fleeing terrorists in her village. They want her fleeing with a kitten in tow but Motts doesn't like any of the kittens they have. They decide to "punch" the kitten in later using digital technology. Thus, they hand the girl posing as the refugee a bag of tortilla chips. "These are chips," says Kirsten Dunst - a line which she absolutely nails.

Motts retreats to the effects room with his team. They add "Anne Frank" sirens to the picture of the girl fleeing. They make it so she's "running over a burning bridge". Then Motts decides he wants her to be holding a calico cat. But the Anne Heche character - who has been conversing with the President the whole scene - relays the fact the President wants the calico kitten to be white.

"He wants a white one?" says Motts. "Let me talk to him."

"He's mobilizing the sixth fleet," she replies.

And in the capper of the scene Motts looks at this assistant, shakes his head and exclaims, "I hate it when they start to mettle."

Dear God, this scene is awesome. The writing, the acting, the timing, it all comes together. It just doesn't get any better than this.

Re-watching the movie it strikes me more every time just how great Dustin Hoffmann is in it and how everything he says is funny. Mamet is notorious in his scripts for finding a line he likes and letting his characters repeat it time and again. This time out Hoffmann re-assures his counterparts in each and every ridiculous situation by advising, "This is nothing." No matter what happens - the fake war ending, a plane crashing, finding out their "war hero" is acually a guy who "raped a nun" is met by "This is nothing." And he always seems right. "You think this is bad?" he asks. "Try a pitch meeting at ten in the morning coked to the gills, no sleep, and you haven't even read the treatment. This is nothing."

What also strikes me is how in the greatest comedies sometimes the funniest moments can be the most poignant. Near the end of "Annie Hall, Alvy (Woody Allen himself) is watching the play he wrote and it's a scene stolen right out of real life - Alvy attempting to woo Annie Hall back to New York. Except that in the play she decides that she will, in fact, go back with him. This scene is hilarious but you don't really even laugh because it's so meaningful and so clearly stinging to Alvy.

Likewise near the end of "Wag the Dog" Motts look out on a totally fake funeral and says earnestly, "This is the best work I've ever done because it's so honest." That line is hilarious but you don't necessarily laugh until you snort because Hoffmann sells it so much. He means it. It is the greatest work he's ever done. He roots his character in empathy. He makes us care and that's what pushes "Wag the Dog" into the realm of truly great. It's a comedy that cares about its people. Jokes are funny and physical gags can make you chuckle. But an amusing character? Now you've got something.

So if you're in the mood for a bounty of laughs - of real, solid laughs - I would suggest "Wag the Dog". Disappointment will not be the outcome.