Review Archive

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Princess Leia's What Now?

Word dropped yesterday per a report from Entertainment Weekly that Leia Organa will no longer be referred to as "Princess" in the forthcoming "Star Wars: The Force Awakens."

This might seem an outrage, like Ms. Organa was unfairly demoted a la Pluto, but Cinema Romantico suspects this announcement merely means she was promoted to Queen, like Elizabeth filtered through Nora Ephron. The problem, however, emerges in determining who the new Princess of the Star Wars™galaxy will be. Because there obviously has to be a Princess. I mean, you didn't make a Star Wars™and not include a Princess, right J.J Abrams? Because while a lot of the fanboy sniping just makes me leisurely roll my eyes, no Princess will not abide. And if it's going to be a new Princess, a Princess to follow in the footsteps of Princess freaking Leia...well, unless it's the lady shown below appearing as herself (which makes perfect sense in regards to the space time continuum because the lady shown below moves through space and time as she damn well pleases), just keep your stupid character alterations to yourself, J.J. Abrams.


6 comments:

  1. She was not promoted to Queen. Per Abrahams, she is now General Leia. Which is so much better, because Carrie Fisher deserves to be recognized as a badass.

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  2. YOU'RE DESTROYING MY ENTIRE NARRATIVE BY ACTUALLY QUOTING ABRAMS!!!

    But seriously...William is commissioned in the British Army and they still call him Prince. Why can't she be a General and a Princess???

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  3. (I also don't really care. This post was an elaborate excuse to post a picture of Kate Middleton.)

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  4. They still called him Prince because England still exists. Last time I checked, Leia is the princess of a giant cloud of debris where a planet used to be.

    And don't act like you need an excuse to post a picture of Kate Middleton. Just post one, sans context (or better yet, with ominous lines like "She's Watching. She's always watching.")

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  5. But didn't they still call her Princess in "Empire Strikes Back"? And I'm not just talking about Han being churlish or 3PO being formal. Didn't General Riekan call her "Princess" at one point? Just because a planet is blown to smithereens doesn't mean its spirit refuses to live on, and what better way to allow that spirit to live on then by letting Leia retain the title of Princess? SHE'S A PRINCESS, BRAD! SHE'LL ALWAYS BE A PRINCESS!!!

    Also, I will do this - "Just post one, sans context" - in the very near future.

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  6. I really wanted to pretend I wasn't taking this personally...but apparently I am.

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