Most Comprehensive Golden Globes Reaction on the Internet

Yesterday the faux-venerable Hollywood Foreign Press Association announced nominations for its 73rd Golden Globe Awards and among the chosen were Kirsten Dunst and Lady Gaga. As it happens, they were nominated in the same category (Best Performance by an Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television) which means, per the Department of Awesomeness housed in the Jean Harlow Center of Shit-Yeah on the intersection of Springsteen Street and Jenny Lewis Lane in Washington D.C., that this is the single most aces awards category in the semi-storied history of awards shows.

It’s important to note I have seen neither of the television shows for which Kiki & Gaga were nominated, shows that are, respectively, something like, I think, “Annapolis” and, perhaps, “Alamo Plaza Hotel Court”. Of course, this has no bearing on anything. Their nominations, all due respect to these titans of culture, has nothing to do with what they actually did. In keeping with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s one sentence mission statement which reads “The Golden Globes recognize excellence in so far as we seek to nominate the absolute coolest people in the industry with whom we can mingle and drink cocktails”, Kiki & Gaga make the cut. And this is why all the dissecting and bellyaching about “Where’s (insert whatever the hell here)?” in regards to the nominations is so incredibly beside the point I wish I could just serve all these awards kvetchers some champagne and say chillax. Enjoy the show come January and hope they really bring home its glamorous frivolousness by naming Kate Middleton Miss Golden Globe 2016.

And go Kiki...I mean Gaga...I mean Kiki...I mean Gaga...I mean Kiki...I mean Gaga...