The Holiday

"Maybe actors should be given Oscars not for the good films they triumph in, but for the weak films they survive." - Roger Ebert

"The Holiday" separates the actress from the movie star. Cameron Diaz can smile and flip her hair really well but Kate Winslet, boys and girls, can act. She possesses skill. She's got, for lack of a better term, serious chops.

The goings-on here add up to your typical romantic comedy. Amanda and Iris - Diaz and Winslet, respectively - are unlucky in love and have both just had their hearts broken by evil men. Therefore, with Christmas coming up, they decide to "house swap" for the holidays, with Amanda living in Iris's English cottage and Iris hanging in Amanda's L.A. pad. The inevitable, of course, ensues. Within six hours (the movie's words - not mine) Amanda has a met a man who looks suspiciously like Jude Law and, by golly, seems perfect in every way. Iris is even MORE lucky. She not only meets composer Miles (Jack Black, trying hard to dial it down though you can practically see him wanting to explode into the Jack Black we all know at every turn) but also meets an old-school Hollywood screenwriter Arthur (old-school actor Eli Wallach) who provides her lessons in life and love.

Though for apparently being such an acclaimed screenwriter, Arthur strangely speaks with an inordinate amount of cliches ("You're a fighter, kid").

The presence of the screenwriter, I think, indicates the movie wanted to be a sort of commentary on the world of romantic comedies. Arthur describes to Iris what a "meet cute" is and explains that she's "a leading lady" but is acting "like a best friend". It's fine if that's what you want to do but then the whole endeavor needs to go over the top, get a bit more operatic in its romantic-comedyness. But "The Holiday" wants it both ways.

Of course, none of this matters. The real goods (at least to Cinema Romantico) are found in the work of Kate Winslet. It was Paul Newman who once said, "Give an actor a great script and he'll move the world." Well, give a great actress drivel and she'll make it convincing. Watch how she manages to make her affection for Miles wholly genuine. She steals little looks of him and laughs at things he says that aren't necessarily funny (ah, and don't guys love that). When she recites the line "Don't blow away" you find yourself stunned that you didn't wince. She even makes the ancient Call-Waiting-Gone-Wrong Scene (you know, Caller A calls Caller B and then Caller C calls and so Caller A says something disparaging about Caller C to Caller B except she was still on with Caller C and so on and so forth) completely realistic. That is not easy.

Perhaps the above Roger Ebert quote is right on. Perhaps Kate should have earned her recent Oscar nomination for this film rather than "Little Children". In that one, her Sarah Pierce was an actual character. Iris is, well, a character in a romantic comedy. Heck, maybe Kate should've won for "The Holiday". Oh sure, Helen Mirren was good but she got to play the Queen of England. Let's see Helen Mirren play air guitar on a pillow and make it look like she's doing it because she wants to do it and not because the script states Iris plays air guitar on a pillow and then we'll talk.

Breach

Recently I came to the realization that my postings in relation to cinema have been sparse the last couple months. It's not that I haven't been seeing movies, because I have, but the movies in the early part of the year are always so uninspiring. I don't really want to write about the films I see unless they inspire me to write about them (whether good or bad).

But last night as I set out on an early evening run I decided that I would write a blog entry in my head (I like to write in my head as I run) for "Breach", which I saw several weeks ago. Therefore here is a summation of my train of thought as I attempted to compose an entry during my run last night:

"Breach"? Hmmmm......what to say? Did I like it? Would other people like it? It depends, I guess. Would those people enjoy a scene in which the Hero goes into the Bad Guy's office to look for, I don't know, something. Except the Bad Guy comes back and so the Hero has to run into the other room and act like he wasn't in the Bad Guy's office even though the Bad Guy is able to deduce through, I don't know, the air density level that the Hero was just in his office?

I mean, did that happen in real life? I'd really like to know. And if this guy can ascertain air density levels that quickly shouldn't he have been also been able to ascertain this new employee wasn't on the "up and up"?

But even so, as the Bad Guy Chris Cooper is really good. He's always good, though. As the hero Ryan Phillipe was actually pretty decent, too.

I wonder why Ryan Phillipe cheated on Reese Witherspoon. At least, I think he cheated on her. That's what US Weekly said, right? I certainly wouldn't cheat on Reese Witherspoon.
She's such a good actress. I still contend she acted circles around Jennifer Aniston on the one episode of "Friends". I wonder what she's doing next?

Uh oh. There's an attractive girl running in my direction. I better speed up so it appears I'm running faster than I actually am.

Okay.........where was I? What was I thinking about? Uh..........

Yup. That's pretty much "Breach". It's out of your head as soon as you're done watching it. So if you're in the mood for seeing exactly what you expect, it'll be worth your time. Otherwise, I would recommend renting "Lone Star". Chris Cooper is good in that, too, and it's a better movie.

The Host

This is Korea's answer to "Godzilla". A monster movie for the modern-day filmgoer. Exciting, scary and just the right amount of tongue-in-cheekedness. And perhaps the greatest reason I've come across as to why I should, in fact, get a cellphone (although I still definitely won't).

"The Host" opens with who-knows-how-many bottles of dirty fermeldyhyde being dumped down the sink at a U.S. research facility in Seoul and finding their way to the Han River (this was based on actual event). I mean, this whole set-up feels like something straight out of a 50's monster movie (especially the way the U.S. American guy explains it all away) and, as far as I'm concerned, every monster movie should feel as if it's straight out of the 50's. Inevitably the dumped chemicals mutate into a monster that one afternoon emerges from the river to storm the banks, terrorize, off a few unlucky souls, and even take one prisoner in the form of a little girl named Hyun-Seo whose family we've conveniently just been introduced to.

Hyun-Seo's father, Kang-Do, isn't the most in-touch or the quickest fellow in the world but the love he has for his daughter is genuine, even if he does give her a beer she doesn't necessarily want. He works in a little snack shop run by his father down on the banks of the aforementioned river. He also has a brother who is a college graduate though still unemployed and a sister who is a stellar archer that just took home a bronze medal in a recent competition (and do you think that little nugget will come into play later on? Of course, and that's the beauty of it). They both think Kang-Do is a moron. Their father is inclined to agree but, of course, he still loves his son.

So anyway, like I was saying, poor Hyun-Seo gets taken away by the monster and so her father, and the rest of the clan, despite the fact that they have been shoved away in a hospital since Kang-Do came into direct contact with the monster, resolve to rescue her.

And what follows is a wonderous blend of drama, comedy, social commentary (does the "host" really spawn a virus?), and action. Oh, the action. This is how it's done, people. There comes a moment when little Hyun-Seo seems to have devised a way to escape the vile clutches of the monster. Does she? Doesn't she? You can discover this on your own. But the way it's filmed is perfect in every way - the way it's shot, the music, the silence, the timing. It's the whole package. I realized after it unfolded that I was sitting in my theater seat with my mouth agape, my hands dug into the chair and one leg up and in front of me as if I was suddenly going to have to fend off this monster.

One would expect the entire family to learn the meaning of life while it simultaneously goes about its rescue mission. But you would be wrong. Our heroic tribe demonstrates precisely what a family is. Regardless of the fact that they squabble, and make wrong decisions, and perhaps don't really like one another, when an amphibious, mutated monster comes and takes one of their own, well, by God, they're gonna' go and get her back. And that's why "The Host" - rather than some made-for-Hallmark-film - is the ideal portrait of unconditional love.

Sometimes the Cinema Gods Smile Upon Us

Now THIS is something for which we should all be excited! Please excuse me if I go ahead this very minute and start building it up to absurd proportions.

Joy to the World (Part 2)

Tragically, 2007's Thursday of Thursdays turned out to be a bit of a letdown. But I assume it's safe to say this is why the basketball gods chose to make 2007's Saturday of Saturdays one of the finest I can recall.

It started with the "mighty" Musketeers of Xavier University coming within a gasp of upsetting the #1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes. This was followed by Butler University fending off Maryland in the final seconds and Acie Law (the Michael Jordan of college basketball) and Texas A&M fending off Louisville in the final seconds.

That, however, was only the beginning.

As I sipped by festive St. Patrick's Day brew at Barney's (with Wrigley Field towering right outside the window) I watched on one TV as Georgetown rallied from eight points down to fend of Boston College's potential upset while on the TV right next to it cinderella Virginia Commonwealth and Pittsburgh went into overtime while on the TV right next to that TV Vanderbilt and Washington State went into DOUBLE overtime.

Whew.

You know how at the end of Christmas Day you feel a little depressed because now all the presents have been unwrapped and that space beneath the tree is empty and you have to wait another 365 days for it to happen all over again? That's the same kind of depression I'm going through right now.

Joy to the World

What's that old saying? Ah, yes. Christmas comes but once a year.

Says who?

The morning of December 26 I ignore the boundless department store sales and turn my calendar to the third Thursday of March in the coming year so I can put a circle around it. This is the day each year when Cinema Romantico (and countless others) celebrate Second Christmas.

Or, for the uneducated, this is the first day of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.

There's certainly more presents than First Christmas. We've got games galore! It's a quadruple header, each and every year. The tip-off's come early and often and last deep into the night and come at wonderfully ridiculous times like 11:25 AM and 1:47 PM and happen at fabulously unexpected outposts such as Greensboro, North Carolina and Spokane, Washington.

On the morning of December 25th it doesn't matter what present you've got in your hand, there's another one under tree that looks just as good. And if you take that one, you realize there's something else in your stocking that you want. The third Thursday of March is just like that. Travel to a nearby sports bar and you will find yourself unable to focus on any of the scores of TVs in front of you. There's action beaming in from all parts of our glorious country, upsets brewing in every time zone. Keeping your attention on a singular game is nigh impossible. It's why this event brought the term "live look-in" to our vernacular. It's why this event raised the television "cut-away" to the level of an art form.

The only sound I anticipate more than the "ho ho ho" of Santa Claus is Greg Gumbel in the CBS studio advising us viewers, "For those of you expecting the game in Dayton we'll get you there shortly for that tip but we'll start everyone off in the west region."

Wait. I just got goosebumps.

Snow, you say? Christmas 2006 in Chicago, IL had no snow. But the third Thursday of March 2006 did. That ain't exaggeration, people. That's fact.

There's plenty of eggnog, too. It's just not nog. Perhaps Labatt, or some flavorful Boulevard Wheat. Last year it was Harp. My first pint came a pinch before 11:00 AM (you read that right) and my lovely bartendress kept them coming at a perfect pace for the rest of the day.

Christmas carolers? Who needs them? We've got color guys. Clark Kellogg advising us which players are "stat-sheet stuffers" and which ones "squeeze the orange" to the most effect and how many teams possess "spurt-a-bility". Bill Raftery peppering his analysis with shouts of "send it in, big fella'!" and "with a kiss!" and lamenting the needlessness of committing a "nickel-and-dimer".

Pre-eminent blowhard Dick Vitale doesn't get to broadcast any of the games (thank God) but flip over to ESPN for a few highlights and the poor guy's on the verge of a coronary every half-second.

IT'S MARCH MADNESS, BABY!

It should be crime in this otherwise fine nation to make people work on the Thursday of Thursdays. As Andrew Leonard once so gloriously wrote, "The first Thursday and Friday of the Tournament should be a federal holiday.....because upsets are a lesson in American civic values." And therefore I don't care if you detest basketball as if it were a sewing project in home economics or you love it like a Kylie Minogue gyration. Take the day off. Call in sick. Quit your job, if you must. Hit the pub with a few friends instead and take in all the action. Someone there can explain the difference between the 2-3 zone defense and the 1-3-1. And make sure to have a beer at 11:00 in the morning.

Also, make sure you fill out those infamous brackets whether you understand them or not. America loves the underdog, right? Well, show the underdog how much you love 'em! Second Christmas is all about the little guy, see. If a school's name combines a state with a direction, or if it's named after a state that isn't actually a state, they're your ally. Eastern Kentucky can spring the upset and I'm willing to bet Weber State can, too. And even if you didn't pick a particular little guy to win, you have to root for them anyway.

There's no better day to play hooky. There's no better day to avoid those pesky faxes and files for a few pale ales instead. After all, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

300

America needs to get its hands on a gang of 300 spartans and send them over to Iraq pronto. They would have this whole mess straightened out and spiffed up in a jiffy. They wouldn't take no s---.

The film is based on a graphic novel (which I haven't read) by Frank Miller telling the story of the infamous Battle of Thermopylae, pitting a band of 300 Spartan warriors against a gargantuan army of Persians commanded by the wannabe' god Xerxes.

Much like the other movie a couple years ago based on Miller's work - "Sin City" - this one makes prominent use of blue screened background, and I think it works to great effect here. It heightens everything and lends to the myth of the story being presented, not the facts. It also assists in making lines such as King Leonides' growling "Immortals? We'll put that name to the test" sound far more plausible than if everything was drenched in reality.

I think of movies like "Troy". You watch those thousand ships out at sea and you, of course, know you're watching computer graphics but you also know the filmmakers are trying to make it seem as real-looking as is humanly possible. But in "300" when you watch the Persian ships in the hurricane-like storm smashing up against the gigantic waves you, of course, know you're watching computer graphics but you also know the filmmakers AREN'T necessarily trying to make it seem real-looking. They just want it to look cool. They want to look how it would look in your head when you were a little kid hearing about the Battle of Thermopylae. THAT'S what I want when I see a movie like this. Who wants facts, man? I want the myth.

I also think of "Gladiator" and where it fell apart for me. "Gladiator" should have just been lean and mean. When Russell Crowe was kicking ass, it worked. When they tried to focus on politics and Joaquin Phoenix repeating the same thing over and over and over and over in long, long, long speeches, it didn't work. "300" revs it engines up at the start and just keeps going. It's an action movie in every sense of the word. Granted, "300" does have a little bit of the political game in the form of the Queen attempting to address the council to offer aid to her King and his other 299 spartans. But then you see how the Queen's address to the council ends and well........it may be the most applause-inducing part of the whole enterprise.

I would heartily recommend that everyone get out and see this one in the theater. Some movies are meant to be seen in the darkness of the theater and this is one. And none of that stadium seating crap. Head straight for a seat in one of the first 5 rows, lean back and let the screen ensconce you. Drink it all in. Soak everything up.

When I was a kid I would leave a (good) action movie and go home and immediately pick up a stick, or some other object, to substitute as a sword, or perhaps a gun, and act out everything I'd just seen. Last night as I was walking home after "300" I saw a stick on the ground outside my apartment building and came pretty gosh darn close to picking it up and stabbing an invisible Persian in front of me.

Oh, How I Love My Neon Bible

So it has arrived. It is at my home. It is on my Ipod. I have listened to It a dozen times, if not more. By “it” I mean the second most anticipated album release of my life, right after Bruce Springsteen’s “The Rising” back in 2002.

“Neon Bible” by The Arcade Fire.

Does it live up to the enormous expectations which have gestated in my melodramatic head at least since I left the Riviera Theater in September 2005 after an Arcade Fire show ready and willing to proclaim them the greatest thing (not band) but thing in the history of the planet earth?

It does. It’s different from "Funeral", their first record, and it should be that way. It is dark and angry. It is foreboding. They are not, as one might say, happy campers. As Win Butler sings at one point, "Who here still believes in choice? Not I."

Now their first album was also dark and angry but it felt much more like a youthful darkness and anger. We’re upset, sure, but we’re gonna’ sing at the tops of our lungs and then we’re gonna’ feel better. On “Neon Bible” it feels more like they’re singing at the tops of their lungs not so that they can feel better but so that they can merely maintain their sanity.

“Professional” rock critics will most likely refer to this as anger via “post-fame”. You know, you become one of the most successful (okay, critically acclaimed and cultish) bands in the world and you react to it. You wonder if you will still be able to make music the way you want to make it.

(It's worth noting The Arcade Fire spurned every major label to stay with their current record company in order to maintain artistic freedom rather than make more money.)

But even though the album is dark, it is also hopeful. Contrary to popular belief, these things can co-exist. I've been listening a lot to the album most critics felt was 2006's best, "Return to Cookie Mountain" by TV on the Radio. It's a fantastic album, no doubt, but it too is dark. And challenging. Not an easy listen. And only listenable in certain situations. But I can't imagine a situation in which I wouldn't want to listen to "Neon Bible". Despite the darkness there is still always a light.

I've heard comparisons made between Bruce Springsteen and "Neon Bible". This is primarily, I think, because of the anthemic quality of some of the songs. But there's another comparison to make and it goes back to "Funeral". The Arcade Fire is the only musical entity I've ever found outside Bruce Springsteen that seems to so easily be able to inspire despite the bleakness in their music.

On "Neon Bible" they employ instruments of all shapes and sizes. If you happened to catch their appearance on Saturday Night Live a couple weeks ago you would have seen that only did they bring out a glockenspiel but the indomitable Regine Chassagne also rocked out on the hurdy-gurdy (yes, really). But none of this feels gimmicky. Everything is designed to fit in its place. The this-is-what-all-music-should-sound-like “Intervention” makes prominent and spectacular use of a pipe organ. It lends a certain majesty to the tune and offers up a great juxtaposition to a line such as “working for the church while your life falls apart.”

“The Well and The Lighthouse” starts out as a hard-rockin’ ditty but transforms into doo-wop at the end. The astonishing “Ocean of Noise” is a little surf-rock, a little Pixies-ish at the beginning, before breaking into a killer piano solo, and then concluding with a brass section that would be right at home in a spaghetti western movie. Then you’ve got “Antichrist Television Blues” which is a biting example of post-modern rockabilly (I just made that up - I don't even know what it means) filtered through Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues".

The follow-up to a groundbreaking album should deepen a band’s sound, gain complexity, revel in the audacity to experiment. You only have one go-around with that second album - one opportunity to attempt anything. It is also the time for a band to truly forge its identity. Do you aim for sales and thus play it safe by copying your previous formula? Or do you aim for the bigger game and thus risk it all?

One winter’s night many moons ago at Chicago’s own Burrwood Tap I proclaimed (as I’m wont to do) that The Arcade Fire was the band meant to save rock ‘n roll. After “Neon Bible” I’m even more sure of it.

Flushed Away

"Flushed Away" is the animated tale of a high society British rat named Roddy who gets flushed into the depths of the sewer and strives to find his way back home. While down below he meets another rat named Rita, confronts a Godfather-like toad and his henchmen and assists his fellow rats during the annual flood that comes from all the flushing during halftime of the World Cup.

So you're probably wondering why Cinema Romantico (proud and card-carrying member of the cinema snob club) was watching a "kids" movie. Granted, it does not happen often. I watch a kids movie as often as Kate Winslet does a voice for one.

Oh! How about that?! The irony! Guess who turns up in "Flushed Away" as the voice of the aforementioned Rita the rat? (And, by the way, no one can annunciate like Kate Winslet.)

I suppose I could offer an in-depth review of this film but I'd instead like to address a single line from it. I would call it the third best line from movies in all of 2006, right behind Alec Baldwin declaring marriage "lets people know you're not a homo" in "The Departed" and Sacha Baron Cohen advising Will Ferrell he tasted "of America" in "Talladega Nights".

At a particular juncture the two henchmen rats and Roddy and Rita are engaged in an epic boat chase. "Right!" screams one of the henchmen. "Go right!" To which the other henchman (voiced by the great Bill Nighy) replies with no irony whatsoever, "Would that be port or starboard?"

I laughed hard at that - we're talking a full-on belly laugh. I laughed so hard it hurt. Worth the price of a rental? I can't speak for you but it certainly was for me.

The Queen

On Sunday afternoon I finally made a trek to see the movie I originally said I wouldn't see because I couldn't watch it with a fair eye. But I think I did manage to give it as fair an eye as I could.

So, yeah, let me say right up front that woman (Helen Mirren, was it?) who plays The Queen is good. Really good. She deserved the Oscar. Okay? Are you happy? Is everyone satisfied? I'm admitting it. She deserved it. There came a point when, despite all the critical acclaim and awards she has received, I completely forgot I was watching Mirren play a role. That's always a wonderful thing.

But I'd like to specifically mention a different perfomer, one who tragically wasn't nominated. Michael Sheen as British Prime Minister Tony Blair. The movie is named "The Queen", of course, but it could have just as easily have been named "The Prime Minister". Watching the movie takes me back to the tragic death of Princess Diana and the royal family refusing to comment or fly a flag at high-mast. And it makes me remember a time when Tony Blair wasn't wished ill will on a daily basis.

As the events unfold, Blair has just been elected Prime Minister. And then the unfortunate events with Diana unfold we watch as Blair has to dance back and forth between the Queen and the British people, attempting to appease everyone. The Royal Family is interested in maintaining tradition. The flag should not be put up at half-mast for Diana. They won't make a public address as it is a private matter. But the people of Britain, the ones leaving all those flowers outside Buckingham Palace, seem to want the Royals to do the exact opposite. Blair has to play both sides. At first you may sense he agrees with the people, only to see the Royals' point of view over time.

The movie easily could have made all the characters aloof. Or it even more easily could have gone the route of trying to show its characters are real people just like you and me. Instead the movie simply introduces its characters, presents the tragic event (Diana's death) and then shows the characters reacting to this event. There is nary a piece of forced characterization.

The Royals are steeped in tradition and have been so for years and years. You can understand why they make the choices they make, despite the outcry of the people. But then you can also understand the desires of the people, after all Diana was the "people's princess". But then you can also see the hardened shell of the Queen begin to crack and not just from persuasion of outside forces but from within herself as well. And you can empathize with poor Tony Blair as he has to deftly play both sides and, as he does, come to his deeper understanding. And then there's Princess Di. You see why maybe the Royals felt the way they did about her but then you also see why the people felt the way they did about her and she never, at any point, is necessarily made into a saint. All of this is another one of those screenwriting terms you often hear people babbling about without any real understanding of it - multi-dimensional characters. Peter Morgan was the writer and he should have won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, hands down.

Uh, is it too late to make my Top 6 List a Top 7 List?