' ' Cinema Romantico: Revisiting Actors Most In Need of a New Agent

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Revisiting Actors Most In Need of a New Agent

Nearly a year ago Cinema Romantico astutely named the 5 Actors most in need of a new agent. Well, we thought it would be a gargantuan barrel of fun to check in with this quintet a year later and see if they are still in need of a new agent. Without further delay…….

- Cuba Gooding Jr. Tragedy has struck. His recent resume, I'm afraid to report, includes the "mild" misfire “Norbit”. “Norbit”, people! “Norbit”! That alone counts for three strikes. This prompted Cinema Romantico to phone its anonymous contact at the Academy regarding the possibility of them reneging his Oscar. Our trustworthy contact advised us – and I quote – “We’re not saying we’ve taken away Cuba’s Oscar. But we’re also not saying we haven’t.” Not good.

Verdict: For God's sake, Cinema Romantico advises Mr. Gooding to get a new agent.

- Mark Ruffalo. In the past year he has appeared in “All the King’s Men” (which was bad, admittedly, but must have sounded good at the pitch meeting) and “Zodiac”. And later this year he will be in “Margaret”, the new film from Kenneth Lonergan (his “You Can Count on Me” was an unquestioned masterpiece) and “Reservation Road” (which also stars Jennifer Connelly and she always makes good choices).

Verdict: Cinema Romantico advises Mr. Ruffalo to keep his agent.

- Kate Beckinsale. There have been three developments here. Last June she unfortunately appeared as the neglected yet supportive spouse in Adam Sandler’s “Click” (which was slightly better than “Armageddon”, but not by much). Then earlier this year Cinema Romantico saw the preview for the horror movie "Vacancy" which also starred Ms. Beckinsale and caused Cinema Romantico to literally shake its head. However, since that time, "Vacancy" has actually earned some decent reviews. That being said, we still have no plans to see it at the theater, or even rent it on DVD. It's more like a Watch-It-On-FX-Some-Night-When-You're-Drinking-Keystone-Light situation.

But imdb.com advises us Ms. Beckinsale starred in the recent Sundance feature "Snow Angels". And before the title scares you away allow me to state it was written and directed by one David Gordon Green, who produced high quality work in the criminally underseen "All The Real Girls".

Verdict: If "Snow Angels" turns out to be as good as we're hoping, we advise Ms. Beckinsale to keep her agent.

- Kate Hudson. Last year she starred in “You, Me and Dupree” (ugh). Two of her upcoming movies found on imdb.com bear the following plot breakdowns: “Two best friends become rivals when they schedule their respective weddings on the same day” and “A young woman befriends an older magician suffering from Alzheimer's disease”.

Verdict: Cinema Romantico advises Ms. Hudson to get a new agent. At once.

- Elisabeth Shue. Most of the entries found on imdb.com point toward a potentially disturbing career path for the long-ago Oscar nominee – which is to say she is getting saddled with a lot of the “supportive woman” roles. Or, as I like to call it, The Virginia Madsen Syndrome. Ms. Madsen, as you may recall, offered brilliant work in “Sideways” a few years ago that also earned her a well-deserved Oscar nod. Since then she has played the supportive wife of Harrison Ford in “Firewall”, the supportive wife of Billy Bob Thortnon in “The Astronaut Farmer” and the supportive wife of Jim Carrey in “The Number 23”. And they say there are no good roles for women in Hollywood.

Verdict: Cinema Romantico advises Ms. Shue to get a new agent. Maybe not at once but she might want to start looking around.


Wretched Genius said...

Your idealism is getting in the way again. Beckinsale's agent is just fine. Sure, "Click" sucked. But it made $140 million domestically, not counting DVD sales. As much as it pains you to realize, acting is a job. Beckinsale had to put forth a minimal amount of effort for her role, and got a disproportionally large return for it. That's a good agent.

Anonymous said...

My idealism can often be a hinderance, that is true. But I feel "Underworld" and its sequel would have provided her with more than enough money to survive. Plus, her husband just did the new "Die Hard" movie which also has to be a considerable paycheck. If they invest wisely she should more than be able to go, let's say, Three Good Movies and then One Bad Movie.