' ' Cinema Romantico: Do Presidential Candidates Have Taste In Movies?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Do Presidential Candidates Have Taste In Movies?

It's here! My home state's lone day on top of the world! Once every four years the eyes of the nation turn to Iowa as a small percentage of its population heads out to caucus and begin the process in deciding which Presidential candidates we'll both want to fall off the face of the earth we'll be so sick of seeing and hearing them come November!

There's been a lot of griping about how there is too much attention given to the Iowa caucuses and how my home state should not hold so much sway in saying who will or will not be running for President and you know what? Those people can go you-know-where! The caucuses are just about all my home state has, understand? Who cares if it's an antiquated system (which it totally is)? So is the electoral college. You take the caucuses away from us and all we have left is Nile Kinnick's Heisman Trophy and Donna Reed's Oscar and that's less than we Iowans deserve. Everyone thinks the state is nothing but cornfields and dirt roads clogged with tractors and so what if once every four years my home state is the center of the world? New York and California and everyone else gets the spotlight the rest of the time so today they can all shut the hell up.

I, of course, no longer live in Iowa and even if I did there's no way I'd be caucusing (that's right! I said it!) because caucusing requires far more forced socializing than this blogger can handle. We're not all extroverts, people. I want to go, tell someone who I'm voting for, and go home. Why's that so hard? I don't want someone yapping in my face about why their respective choice is better than mine. The more you talk to me, the less likely I am to switch sides. I have my opinion, you have yours. So let's just cast our votes in private and go grab a pint and watch the Orange Bowl (I'm FAR more interested in whether or not Virginia Tech can slow Kansas's potent "spread" attack than if Mike Huckabee's for real, and whatever that makes me is something I'm A-Okay with being).

All that said, even if I was dragged at gunpoint to a caucus I don't know which candidate would get my support. I'm one of those, shall we say, undecided voters. And so that's why I've decided it's high-time Cinema Romantico gets to the bottom of the only real issue of this campaign, the issue which has not been addressed enough, the issue which will decide this race. What is each candidate's favorite movie?

We took to the world-wide-web and this what we found.

Hillary Clinton: "Casablanca".

Barack Obama: "The Godfather", "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "Casablanca".

John Edwards: "Dr. Strangelove."

Bill Richardson: "Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid."

Mitt Romney: "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

Mike Huckabee: "To Kill A Mockingbird" and "Casablanca".

John McCain: "Viva Zapata."

Rudy Giuliani: "The Godfather."

Fred Thompson: "The Hunt For Red October."

Dennis Kucinich: “Dr. Zhivago" and "Gone With the Wind".

Joe Biden: "Dead Poets Society".

Okay. So what does is all this tell us? To whom do I lend my support? Right off the bat, I have to say that I don't really care what Fred Thompson's favorite movie is. As you may know, Mr. Thompson is a regular movie and TV actor and he happened to have a role in "Days of Thunder". If you're in "Days of Thunder", I don't want you as my President. Bye, Fred.

Biden's gone, too. "Dead Poets Society"? Are you kidding me with that schlock? I don't want someone who says "Dead Poets Society" is his or her favorite movie on this continenet, let alone in the White House. Vaya con dios, Joe.

McCain and "Viva Zapata"? I see what he's up to here with that famed revolutionary but that just ain't gonna' cut it on this blog, John. Scoot to the back of the line.

I like "Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid" but it's never been one of my ultimates and so Richardson's outta' the running, too.

Anyone who names two and refuses to properly answer the question of "what's your favorite movie (not movies)?" has no place, either. And so just like that Obama's lost my vote. (Unless Huckabee and Kucinich had gone all crazy on us and said something like "Streets of Fire" they wouldn't get my vote, anyway.) Quit waffling, Barack. Get it together. If someone asked me I'd say either "Last of the Mohicans" or "Million Dollar Baby" depending on my mood but I'd only say one.

I believe Giuliani when he says "The Godfather" but my favorite mafia movie's always been "Goodfellas". So it's out to the pasture with Rudolf.

Hillary said "Casablanca" and we all know I worship the ground on which "Casablanca" walks (if it could) but I smell something fishy. I get a strong inclination Hillary pulled this one out to cover all her bases. That, or Bill told her to say it. It's too popular of an answer in this sorta' situation. So Hillary's a no-go. Though I will reconsider if Ingrid Bergman returns from the dead and offers Ms. Clinton an endorsement.

So it's down to Romney and Edwards. I gotta' say, I'm impressed with wacky Mitt pulling out "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Greatest action movie ever made. Not as safe a pick as "Casablanca". But Edwards picking a black comedy about nuclear apocalypse? THAT'S bold. So John Edwards it is! Cinema Romantico gives you its ringing endorsement! Not based on anything having to do with policy or ethics but because John found General Buck C. Turgidson as awesome as we did!

Good luck, John! And if you do win this November, make sure no one sees the big board.

(Postcript: It turns out John Kerry's favorite movie was "Animal House". I now exceedingly regret throwing my support behind him in 2004.)


Anonymous said...

Fred Thompson is in "The Hunt for Red October." HE'S IN HIS FAVORITE MOVIE. Therefore, he's either already lived the dream and it's time retire, or he's a complete asshole. I'm going with column A.

And if you're gonna pick one of your own movies, have you even watched "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" sir?

Anonymous said...

Wait. I've changed my mind. It's Column B. He's an asshole.

(Of course, I accidently submitted that last posting as "Anonymous." So... who's really the dumb asshole?)

Rory Larry said...

Seems a bit unfair to Obama, he wasn't asked what his favorite movie was, he was asked what his three favorite movies were. Its a different question, its not indecision.

Anonymous said...

Whoops. My bad. He WAS asked to name his 3 favorite movies. However, he actually listed four and said "Godfather 1 & 2" should count as one.

Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Would I count "Before Sunrise" & "Before Sunset" as one movie? No, I wouldn't. It still sounds like waffling to me. He's out.