' ' Cinema Romantico: Is The Love Guru The Worst Movie Ever Made?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Is The Love Guru The Worst Movie Ever Made?

The previews for Mike Myers' latest cinematic venture, "The Love Guru", were bad. More than that, even, they were wretched. I found the previews for "Transformers" to be bad, too, but at least you could watch it and say, "Well, a Michael Bay fan will enjoy it. But I can't imagine anyone in any walk of life watching "The Love Guru" trailer and determining it to be Must See.

Therefore I had no intention of watching it. And because I had no intention of watching it I read some reviews as they trickled in. And as I read these reviews the question honestly became whether or not "The Love Guru" is on its way to being my generation's "Plan 9 From Outer Space". Don't believe me? Check out some of the quotes of our nation's critics:

"There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they're good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone....(t)his tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I've ever spent outside a hospital waiting room." - Dana Stevens, Slate

"(It) might sum up 'The Love Guru' in its entirety but only at the risk of grievously understating the movie’s awfulness. A whole new vocabulary seems to be required. To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word 'unfunny' surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, 'The Love Guru' is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again." - A.O. Scott, New York Times

"Recently, (Harry) Knowles (of Ain't It Cool News) declared 'Speed Racer' 'the single greatest trip' since the final sequence in Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey'. He absolutely loved 'Rambo'. His taste in comedy has been broad enough to embrace 'Semi-Pro', 'The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas', and 'Beerfest' ('easily the funniest film I've seen this year'). And even Harry says, in 'The Love Guru', Mike Myers 'puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it,' so we're starting to think it might be kind of bad." — Linda Holmes, New York Magazine

I mean, ouch. Double, triple, quadruple, quintuple ouch. For God's sake, even Roger Ebert, who for the first time in his whole career gave a good review to an Adam Sandler comedy (though thankfully apologized for doing so at the end) only gave "The Love Guru" one, measly star.

Mike, what the hell happened?

But let me also say this, such pointedly awful reviews sorta' makes you want to see it. Doesn't it? You kinda' want to know. Don't you? You checked out that Britney Spears MTV Awards debacle online. Didn't you? You had to see it for yourself. Right? Don't lie.

On second thought....never mind. Life's too short. I'm still not seeing it.


Wretched Genius said...

Internet piracy exists so that people can be witnesses to these types of cinematic accidents while remaining secure in the knowledge that they are not financially contributing to it.

Nick Prigge said...

That should totally be the slogan of a pro-internet piracy ad they show during movie previews, with clips of "The Love Guru" and other assorted bombs to accompany it.