' ' Cinema Romantico: Megan Fox, Cinema Romantico's Got Your Back

Friday, July 10, 2009

Megan Fox, Cinema Romantico's Got Your Back

I cannot say I have ever been what one might term a fan of Megan Fox. Sure, she's a bit voluptuous and rather agreeable to the eye but, you know, gaggles of actresses fit that criteria. Ms. Fox, though, doesn't have the haughtiness of Sienna Miller or the grace of Rachel McAdams or the luminosity (I said it) of Kate Beckinsale. Megan Fox is just a big bunch of so-what? She's the epitome of blah beautiful. She looks like she was generated in a lab. No personality, no allure, no twinkle.

Or so I thought. Lo and behold, Ms. Fox knows one of the quickest routes to Cinema Romantico's heart - that is, pissing off Michael Bay. To paraphrase Ed Harris in "Gone Baby Gone": You gotta pick a side. If you're a fan of Michael Bay, you're not on my side.

This is why I was stunned to discover Ms. Fox, the star of Michael Bay's box office twin behemoths "Transformers" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" was recently quoted as saying the following: "Unless you’re a seasoned veteran, working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience...I don’t want to blow smoke...People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting."

You tell 'em, Megan!!!

Michael Bay, never one to display restraint, fired back: "Well, that’s Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she’s 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, 'OK Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it. But I 100% disagree with her. Nic Cage wasn’t a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in 'Armageddon.' Shia LaBeouf wasn’t a big movie star before he did 'Transformers' -- and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence from 'Bad Boys.' Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in 'Transformers.' I like to think that I’ve had some luck in building actors’ careers with my films."

You're absolutely right, Mike! How dare she?! Nic Cage wasn't a big actor when you cast him in "The Rock". I mean, seriously, that Oscar he'd won for "Leaving Las Vegas" the previous year? Tiddlywinks, man. Tiddlywinks. You made Ben Affleck, dammit! That Oscar he won for writing "Good Hill Hunting" the prior year sure as heck wasn't what vaulted his punk a-- into the mainstream. Will Smith's acting chops? His charisma? Dust in the wind, baby, without all that tutoring you gave him on "Bad Boys". Would we ever have the privilege of seeing Martin Lawrence tear the roof off the sucker in "Big Momma's House" without your unflappable mentoring? Two words - hell & no. And Shia LaBeouf? Bullseye, Mike. If you hadn't made him we never would have had the chance to never forget him as Mutt Williams in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"....wait a second....you! You, Mike! You did that! If you hadn't single-handedly "exploded" him we never would have been forced to endure Mutt Williams! Aaarrrgghhh!!! Damn you, Michael Bay, and your brilliance at spotting diamonds in the rough, for nurturing and developing primo talent! You've screwed us all with your impeccably skillful ways!

So it's official - I still hate Michael Bay and, thus, in the verbal skirmish between director and actress this blog lends it full support to the actress.

Though, in the interest of full disclosure, I still don't think Megan Fox can actually act.


Wretched Genius said...

But let it never be said that he failed to bring the brewskies.

Nick Prigge said...

An excellent point. Based on that scene in "Mystery Men" Michael Bay has proven himself to be more adept at acting than Megan Fox. So at least he's got that going for him.