Bruce, Don't Do "Glee"

No doubt by now you have heard the rumors swirling like sullied snow - that is, Bruce Springsteen, The Greatest Living American, Planet Earth's Poet Laureate, and my idol, is in talks to not only have his esteemed music featured on but also (gulp) guest star in the hit Fox show "Glee."

Uh.....

I know, I know, I know. A couple weeks ago I admitted on this very blog that I had watched my first episode of "Glee." But that, of course, was only because the music of my heroine, Lady Gaga, was featured. Now perhaps I should simply be excited that if Bruce is featured on "Glee" my long-standing theory of the Boss and Gaga having a whole big bunch in common - and they do - will be re-inforced that much more, even though my spouting of this theory typically leads to people staring at me strangely. (Note: Did you know Lady Gaga recently announced the title of her third album? Did you know it is three words long and starts with the word "Born"? Can you guess what other person's third album title was three words long and started with the word "Born"? I'm just sayin'.)

The Greatest Rock And Roll Band In The History Of The World. 

No Comment.

Let's say his music gets used. This means a cast of young actors would reinvent one or more of his most famous tunes.  Did you know that the 1984 film "Streets of Fire" wanted to use Bruce's 1978 song "Streets of Fire" but wanted to have a younger vocalist re-record the lyrics and so Bruce said, essentially, hell no? Ah, but that was then, when Bruce was still turning down the Super Bowl whenever they came calling, and this is now.

I'm fine with him giving permission to serve up a few of his songs. Honest, I am, even though they would likely serve up "Glory Days" or "Hungry Heart" (while at least one person - mark my words - wears a bandana, even though he hasn't worn a bandana in 25 years) while I would prefer "Candy's Room" if only to see the classic scene immediately after the gang's rendition when there is a close up on one of their faces and the deeper meaning flashes in his or her eyes and she or he wonders aloud, "Wait....is Candy a prostitute?" I can handle seeing the "Glee-ers" do what is they that they do. After all, I endured the "guacamole dip" line at the Super Bowl and suffered through the referee throwing the flag on Bruce and Little Stevie so I'm pretty sure I could stomach this but....does he have to guest star?

To this point Bruce Springsteen has turned up in only one film and/or TV show and that was as himself in "High Fidelity" in which he appeared ever so briefly as an imaginary mentor to John Cusack's character which was so perfect because, well, all Springsteen-philes every now and then consult an imaginary Bruce Springsteen for advice. Why would he want to risk tainting the perfect cameo by turning up as someone's uncle on "Glee"? Can't Patti do this instead? Couldn't she play someone's aunt? Couldn't they use, say, "Lucky Girl"? The girls of "Glee" could knock that one outta the park.

Nils Lofgren, guitarist in Bruce's legendary E Street Band, once wrote a song titled "Keith Don't Go", an ode to his own idol, Keith Richards, and today - if Nils doesn't mind - I'd like to slightly revise his first verse as a plea to my own idol.

This is a right-away letter, I've got to mail it today
Straight to my main inspirer, says urgent from the USA
Its got this heart inside it, the postage is my entity
Contains a message from millions, says Bruce don't do "Glee"