' ' Cinema Romantico: Over-Analyzing The Machete Kills Trailer Part 3

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Over-Analyzing The Machete Kills Trailer Part 3

We're back! The third trailer (version: red band) for Robert Rodriguez's forthcoming "Machete Kills" just dropped via IGN. The previous installments of over-analyzing these previews have involved much speculation regarding the specifc role being played by fair devious maiden Lady Gaga. This latest trailer, however, officially ceases all speculation. Her specific role is now clear.

Lady Gaga is playing the baddest mama jama since Beatrix Kiddo sheathed her Hanzo sword.

How do we know this to be true? We know this to be true for two reasons.

1.) Lady Gaga is apparently driving a Volkswagen Bus.

2.) Lady Gaga, while smoking a cigarette, thrusts a gun out the window of her Volkswagen Bus and melodiously declares "Hola, motherfucker."

I already know she will be defeated by Machete, but I also know that her defeat will simply be one of those sweet-scented lies told on the silver screen to appease patrons yet to find true belief in Our Lady Of Perpetual Gaga.

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