' ' Cinema Romantico: Pitching Lady Gaga/Muppet Duets

Monday, November 11, 2013

Pitching Lady Gaga/Muppet Duets

Did you hear the news?! Lady Gaga is filming a Muppets Holiday Special! We here at Cinema Romantico have been clamoring for a Gaga/Muppets collaboration since way back when, and are overjoyed to see it come to fruition in any capacity. I can only imagine such a special will involve a number of song performances featuring Gaga and her various Muppet cohorts, and so Cinema Romantico - a full-fledged and utterly unashamed Little Monster - is here to provide a few suggestions as to just what such a primetime special could include.

Kermit. “I'm Sticking With You”, Velvet Underground. Close your eyes. Go ahead. Don't be bashful. Close 'em. Now, remove all pre-conceived notions from your mind. C'mon. Remove 'em! All right? We good? Good. Imagine Kermit & Gaga singing this song and, I swear, it will just feel......right.

Miss Piggy. “I Shot Mr. Lee”, The Bobbettes. People of a certain age likely know The Bobettes’ “Mr. Lee” as being part of the stellar “Stand By Me” soundtrack. But people of a certain age, and of other ages, may not be as familiar with the follow-up, the slightly more sinister minded “I Shot Mr. Lee.” (“One, two, three, I shot Mr. Lee. Three, four, five, I got tired of his jive.”) Can you imagine a Gaga/Piggy duet on this tune? CAN YOU IMAGINE??? I’m inclined to say this is the one I most want to see.

Gonzo. “Suspicious Minds”, Elvis Presley. I feel like Gaga and Gonzo would get along pretty well, two creatures enamored with show-biz and a craving for the spotlight. And I feel like putting The Great Gonzo in his patented cape - evoking a late-era Elvis - and Gaga in an Ann-Margret wig and having them croon this classic together would bring the house down. Perhaps over the closing credits?

Fozzie Bear. “Spirit in the Sky”, Norman Greenbaum. Performing this number with the Muppets' resident funny man will indulge the meta side of Gaga, being that Greenbaum more or less wrote the song as a joke, tossing off a “gospel” song just to prove he could write one despite never having written one and knowing nothing about gospel music. Plus, the thought of hearing this song in Fozzie's voice leaves me in stitches.

Rowlf. “Faster Than The Speed Of Night”, Bonnie Tyler. You might not know that the resident E Street pianist (which is to say, Bruce Springsteen's pianist) Roy Bittan played on this totally righteous track, and if anyone can possibly live up to the majestic Bittan Sound, well, it’s Rowlf. Imagining Rowlf rocking the keys as Gaga struts and preens and shrieks in the foreground makes me joyously delirious. (Admission: I have long been desperate to hear Lady Gaga sing this song, partially because I think my single greatest wish is for Roy Bittan to produce a Lady Gaga album.)

I’d like to take this moment to advise the Lady Gaga/Muppet Holiday Special should include a cameo from Emily Blunt reprising her role as Miss Piggy's sassy Parisian secretary. Make this happen, ABC. No excuses.

Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem. “When The Levees Break”, Led Zeppelin. Some contend Animal is based on The Who’s Keith Moon, but I’d like to think of him more as a John Bonham. If you can’t envision Animal riding a motorcycle through a Muppet Theater hallway, you’re crazy.

Beaker. “Physical", Olivia Newton-John. Here we’d get Gaga into one of her more less-than-existing outfits and have her chase a terrified Beaker around his laboratory while belting out this song before finally Beaker’s head just explodes.

Statler & Waldorf. “Pass the Mic”, Beastie Boys. Really, what are Statler & Waldorf but old-school bomb-droppers from the balcony?


Andrew K. said...

Oh my god, I forgot Emily Blunt's wig which looks like a hat.

(And her throat ensemble jewellery is very ummmm, much.)

Nick Prigge said...

"And her throat ensemble jewelry." Ha! Somehow I had never noticed the throat ensemble jewelry. It just adds to the whole aura. I suppose that's what English woman in Paris wear.