' ' Cinema Romantico: The Totally Official Cinema Romantico Love Actually Power Rankings

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

The Totally Official Cinema Romantico Love Actually Power Rankings

We here at Cinema Romantico have been so engrossed in viewing and contemplating end-of-the-year awards contenders, as well as "awards contenders", that there comes a point when we simply need to sit the hell down, take a breath and drink some seasonally festive rum punch in film form. By which, of course, we mean "Love Actually." You know "Love Actually." That oddly controversial English confection that half of critic's America thinks is as swell and aw-shucks and golly-gee as the Coca-Cola™ Polar Bears and that the other half of critic's America thinks is an unholy lie because DON'T YOU KNOW THAT POLAR BEARS ARE FREAKING CARNIVORES AND REALLY, REALLY MEAN AND THOSE STUPID COMMERCIALS ARE ALL JUST LIES???!!!

We here at Cinema Romantico tend to side with the first faction - which we kinda covered last year - because we here at Cinema Romantico tend to believe Sara Thomas is a cinematic saint. So in that spirit....

The Totally Official Cinema Romantico Love Actually Power Rankings

135. Natalie's parents calling her "plumpy". I mean, really. I mean, seriously. Her own dad calls her "plumpy." And look at him there. He's not actually not-portly, if you know what I mean. Screw that guy. Screw all of them. Adopt a new family, Natalie.

10. It's called "being a rock star."

9. "I can't believe you still listen to Joni Mitchell." - "I love her. And true love lasts a lifetime."

8. If you've never come home after a long day of work and just danced your ass off, well, you're missing out. I recommend this song. Not that I do this regularly.

7. "It's a felt tip pin."

6. Going for a walk down by the river while listening to Dido when you feel blue? We've all been there, dude. Don't lie.

5. Mr. Bean to the rescue. #RealHero

4. That guy? That guy doesn't need evidential proof. Because that guy? That guy you can tell - you can tell - believes in true love.

3. "We need Kate. And we need Leo. And we need them now."

2. To the people who claim "Love Actually" is emotionally dishonest I have three simple words: Emma fucking Thompson.

1. Keira Knightley's Hat. But this goes without saying.

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