' ' Cinema Romantico: 10 Not-At-TIFF Movies to See

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

10 Not-At-TIFF Movies to See

The Toronto International Film Festival is set to kick off tomorrow. It’s the George Clooney of the multitude of fall film festivals, the movie Eden where just about any film dreaming of reaping that all-important cultural cache this awards season will be screening, where Oscar contenders will be born or discarded which will prompt many critics to angrily shake their fists at such instantaneous proclamations before instantaneously composing 140 character reviews on Twitter THAT CAME BEFORE YOUR 140 CHARACTER REVIEW ON TWITTER BECAUSE I WAS FIRST SO THERE. My head already hurts.

And so while you can expect to be inundated with a spate of The Ten Films To See At TIFF lists we here at Cinema Romantico are helping out you unlucky blokes stuck anywhere but Toronto with a list of Ten Films Not At TIFF To See. After all, if you watch a movie not at TIFF during TIFF, does it still make a sound? TBD.

10 Not-At-TIFF Movies to See

David and Bathsheba. As TIFF gets under way, Turner Classic Movies is showing this Daryl Zanuck produced Biblical epic. And frankly, I can’t believe I’ve never seen Susan Hayward as Bathsheba in Technicolor.

To Die For. Because this screened at TIFF in 1995 and when in doubt you should always go Kidman.

Broken Arrow. Didn’t “The End of the Tour” really make you want to watch “Broken Arrow” again? Of course it did.

Roustabout. If you haven’t, it’s time you see an Elvis movie. I don’t want to start you with the best and there is no need to go anywhere near the worst and “Blue Hawaii” is best saved for those long winter days when you’re dreaming of paradise so we’ll turn to Elvis as a “Roustabout” instead. Some might say the best actor Elvis ever worked with was Walter Matthau in “King Creole”; I say it was Barbara Stanwyck in “Roustabout.”

In the Cut. My girlfriend got me David Thomson’s “Moments That Made the Movies” for my birthday and Mr. Thomson, my favorite non-everyday film critic, ever the conjurer of unique perspectives, in addressing a particular moment from Jane Campion’s much-derided Meg Ryan-starring vehicle, writes: “It is one of the great films of the twenty-first century, and of the hundred years of film that preceded it.” Maybe that makes you scoff, but it makes me really, really, really want to see it.

Chain Reaction. The other night I had a weird dream that I can’t quite recall but that I know involved an Ice Boat which naturally (?) made me think of “Chain Reaction” and, anyway, I’ve long wanted to do a deep dive into just how in the hell Rachel Weisz ended up in this movie.

A Good Day To Die Hard. I mean, I suppose I need to see this at some point.

Jackie Q. Videos. With every film festival you inevitably hit a wall when you just need to chill out and re-charge. This will even be the case with our faux-film festival, no doubt, and so let's take the eighth day to simply sit back and watch fake Jackie Q. videos on Youtube.

The Longest Week. Because at some point we Billy Crudup Completists are going to have to acknowledge this dead seal in the living room.

L’Avventura. As TIFF closes shop on September 20th, the Gene Siskel Center here in Chicago will be screening Antonioni's immortal melancholic cinematic dreamsicle. While the TIFFsters are waiting in line, I’ll be getting stone cold lost in the haunted big screen eyes of Monica Vitti. Suckas!

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