' ' Cinema Romantico: JJ Abrams Admits To (Other) Massive Mistakes in The Force Awakens

Thursday, March 10, 2016

JJ Abrams Admits To (Other) Massive Mistakes in The Force Awakens

News lit up the Interwebs yesterday like a volcanic eruption on Mustafar that JJ Abrams, auteur of the most anticipated movie in history, "Star Wars: The Force Awakens", had copped in an interview with Peter Sciretta of Slashfilm to having made a mistake in regard to Princess General Leia Organa's hug near the movie's end. Slashfilm issued a spoiler alert which was essentially rendered moot 22 seconds later when every other site in the solar system picked up on this story and spilled the beans in the headlines but whatevs.

Anyway, the "mistake" to which Abrams confessed was Leia hugging Rey, Taylor Swift of the Western Reaches, rather than Chewbacca in the wake of, uh, something, uh, considerable, uh, taking place. I honestly had no idea this hug had become all the rage in the fashionable circles of Interwebs vitriol. I confess to not even remembering the moment described.

Buried, however, by the lede was Abrams' confession of "That was probably one of the mistakes I made in that." "One of"????? What were the other mistakes he made in that????? Luckily Cinema Romantico was able to pilfer a full transcript of the interview from sources who will not be named.

In it, Abrams also expressed regret for calling Tatooine Jakku ("It was Tatooine. I don't know why we did that. You got me there.") and for turning the TIE Fighter into a two-seater ("I was trying to homage the snowspeeder. That wasn't canonical. I apologize.") and for the little inside joke where the Millennium Falcon's holographic game table briefly springs to life ("No way it would have still been functioning after so many years. I sacrificed plausibility for comedy. My fault.") and for styling Kylo Ren's lightsaber on a Crusader sword rather than a Two Handed Claymore as intended ("The props department argued that Adam Driver never could have lifted a Two Handed Claymore. I should've listened to my gut.") and for failing to include Lando Calrissian ("You could tell from the first cut we showed the studio that a certain - what's the term? - irreproachable suaveness was missing") and for cutting C-3PO's love interest at the last second ("She was voiced by Dolly Wells. It would've been amazing.").

Abrams, however, did not apologize for ignoring George Lucas's advice. "George suggested centering the narrative around establishing the Bank of the New Republic. I thanked him for his two cents but politely declined."

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