' ' Cinema Romantico: If Movie Promos Were Album Covers

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

If Movie Promos Were Album Covers

Last week, at some point, somewhere, maybe in my Twitter feed, maybe in a comment on some article or a review, maybe in the heading or sub-heading of some piece of clickbait clogging up the Interweb cosmos, I saw someone refer to a "Batman v Superman" promo photo as a potentially fantastic album cover. And while I, as a theoretical record exec, would not have made that particular still an album cover, it nevertheless, as it absolutely had to, got me to thinking. It got me to thinking about other movie promos that could pass for album covers. Oh, did it. Let the good times roll.

 If Movie Promos Were Album Covers...

Helen & Bobby. If John & Michelle Phillips made like an ultra-psychedelic Simon & Garfunkel. 

The cover of Half-Angel, Half-Devil, a country-western record from the 1970's forgotten by the mainstream but mythical among the aficionados. "Sadder than Loretta Lynn," wrote one rock critic, "like she was raised inside the coal mine."

The third album from Lady Edith Greensly, who re-imagined Evie as Debbie Harry.

Cover of the fourth album, Color Spectrum Demolition, by prog rock band Crevice-Dragon.

The Breakfast Club's self-titled debut album. For Rolling Stone, Danielle Baldacci wrote they were "cohesively mismatched, evidence of how sound can unify through disparate techniques."

This is when Claire Standish left The Breakfast Club and formed her own New Wave trio.

Mitch Kiefer, who was Richard Marx before Richard Marx. This was the cover of his chart-topping second album, Pass the Buck.

The Gem Squashes, forgotten jangly-pop precursors to Wilson Phillips, who released a trio of albums in the 80's. This was their last record, We Three Libras, before pursuing solo careers of varying success.

One-named Adolfina, the electro-pop diva who emerged from Berlin in the 80's but never crossed over in America, not even with Try Another World, her fourth album that granted her immortality on the eastern hemisphere.

Cover of the groundbreaking second album by the legendary, and reclusive, Furtive, No Wave pioneers.

Maritime Law, a German electro-pop outfit from Düsseldorf. This was their sixth album, Underwater Propeller.

These guys never figured out their sound. 

Kate & Leo, the greatest mid-Atlantic synth-pop band of the late 90's. Devout followers (guilty!) still dream of their re-uniting.

Overgrowth, an alt-rock band from the Puget Sound. This is the cover of their seminal second record, E-Rat-icator, after which they broke up on account of creative differences fueled by drugs.

They had one album with one hit song in the late 90's. You remember the hit song, sorta; you don't remember them.

Blaze Orange, southern fried frat rock band that sprung up in Tuscaloosa in the 90's. This is the cover of their third album, What We Would Do. They'll probably be at your state fair this summer.

If The Saturdays were more interested in running people down.

These guys? These guys just played at that bar down the street from you and are wondering if you'll buy their CD for $5. Please, will you buy it.


Unknown said...

Excellent post! I will have this in my head for the rest of the week: https://youtu.be/HsOJAaZ1a2A

Derek Armstrong said...

My only regret is that I don't know what some of these movies are and I don't know that I have a good way of finding out. Because naturally, to include an answer key would be to reduce the fun by at least 3/8ths.

Derek Armstrong said...

Of course, there's always IMDB, but that's, like, extra work.

Nick Prigge said...

Derek {Vance}!!!!!! It's so good to have you back!!!!!

I am guilty of not frequenting your sites more often, but I admit that's the case with a lot of my favorite film writers these days. Other things...business...laziness...yada, yada. I apologize. Hope to get your way more often.

Derek Armstrong said...

Who has the time? I always determine to make more, and then I always get distracted by other things. I have this one blogger who's reading all my stuff right now and I have been very bad about reading his. Major guilt!