What Wrong Best Picture Joke Will Jimmy Kimmel Make at the Oscars?

When last we left off, Jimmy Kimmel was standing onstage at the Dolby Theater apologizing and trying to place the blame on himself for the envelope fiasco that briefly found “La La Land” named as winner of the Best Picture Academy Award before it was revealed that, no, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had the wrong envelope and the real Best Picture winner was “Moonlight.” Even now it’s a little hard to wrap your mind around any of this actually happening, but trying to place it into proper context one year later is not what Kimmel, reprising his role this coming Sunday as Oscar host, was hired to do. No, he was hired to make jokes. And the surest thing in show business in 2018 is that Jimmy Kimmel will make a joke about the envelope fiasco at the Academy Awards. The question then becomes: what joke will he make? So, I convened my think tank, and on the strength of myself and my friends Brad, Daryl, and Jay, we have settled on several tantalizing possibilities.

What Wrong Best Picture Joke Will Jimmy Kimmel Make at the Oscars?

1.  A recurring bit in which Jimmy Kimmel continually happens upon Matt Damon backstage attempting to mess with the envelopes. Odds: 4-1

2. The “Oscar host” is introduced at which point Sarah Silverman, or Matt Damon, or Adam Carolla, walks onstage and launches right into a joke like they are supposed to be there. Moments later, a harried “producer” scurries onstage and explains there has been a hosting mix-up and, well, you see where this is going. Odds: 10 - 1

3. When Jimmy Kimmel makes the traditional mid-show announcement for the PricewaterhouseCoopers Accountants responsible for safeguarding the Oscar results to step into the spotlight and bask in brief applause, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway take the stage. Odds: 15-1

4. As the curtain comes up, Steve Harvey is announced as host and, well, you see were this is going. Odds: 25-1

5. A Billy Crystal-ish number to open show in which Jimmy Kimmel inserts himself into each Best Picture nominee where he proceeds to make a bad Wrong Envelope joke. The number concludes with dancing envelopes, a la left shark and right shark. Odds: 45-1

6. A pre-recorded bit relaying the Oral History of the Wrong Envelope featuring interviews with all the major players (and Matt Damon), including Faye Dunaway who spends her entire interview talking about her recent role as Dr. Roberta Waters in “The Case for Christ.” Odds: 80-1

7. The show opens with Warren Beatty getting picked up in an SUV limo. He believes he is being taken to the Oscars, only to find himself taken inside a giant warehouse. Once inside, he exits the vehicle and finds Faye Dunaway, Marisa Tomei, and John Travolta are already there, being kept sequestered. The limo door opens and out steps Jimmy Kimmel, explaining he has imprisoned everyone who might step on all the “wrong announcement/name” jokes he has planned. A TV in the corner turned to the Oscars then shows Steve Harvey take the stage as host. Jimmy Kimmel is tremendously flummoxed! Odds: 900 to 1

8. Jimmy Kimmel walks onstage and launches right into a joke like he is supposed to be there. Moments later, a harried “producer” scurries onstage and explains there has been a hosting mix-up and that, in fact, Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer were named as hosts but that the wrong memo was sent out to the powers-that-be. A baffled Jimmy Kimmel is escorted into the wings. Abbi Jacobson & Ilana Glazer enter from the wings on the opposite side. They literally proceed to host the Oscars. Odds: 1,000,000,000,000 to 1