' ' Cinema Romantico: Possible Names of Skyscraper Sequels

Monday, July 09, 2018

Possible Names of Skyscraper Sequels

This week is the release of Dwyane Johnson’s aspirant blockbuster “Skyscraper.” It chronicles, per IMDB, an FBI Hostage Rescue Team Leader and U.S. war veteran turned skyscraper security expert (Johnson) who finds the tallest, safest building in the world suddenly ablaze and- oh, the hell with this. It’s “Die Hard”, okay? It’s “Die Hard” in a Skyscraper, but I repeat myself. And that’s okay. We are not opposed to such out-and-out cinematic lifting. After all, “Once Upon a Time in the West” lifted pretty heavily from “Johnny Guitar” and all we got there was one of The Greatest Movies Ever Made.

I’m sure “Skyscraper” will be one of The Greatest Movies Ever Made too. But that’s not what concerns us. What concerns us is the obvious “Skyscraper” sequel; what do you call the obvious “Skyscraper” sequel? Aren’t you glad we asked?

Possible Names of Skyscraper Sequels

Tower. Not be confused with “Tower” (2016), “Tower Heist” (2011), or “The Towering Inferno” (1974).

Water Tower. If “Tower” is not sufficiently high concept.

Superstructure. If Tower/Water Tower is too much of a lateral move from Skyscraper.

Space Elevator. If Superstructure is too lo-fi for your marketing department.

Atrium. If you want to keep things inside and synergize with the Hyatt® brand.

Monument. Pencil it in for a 4th of July release and figure out the rest later.

Lighthouse. Like “Annihilation” but with fewer enigmas and more explosions.

Center for the Performing Arts. I’m always hearing that only Liberal Elites care about Hollywood, yet Big, Dumb Hollywood Action Movies rarely cater to Liberal Elites.

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