Ranking Luke Skywalker's Outfits

You know when some nominally precocious little kid asks her/his parents why there is a Mother’s Day and/or a Father’s Day but no Kid’s Day and then the Mother and/or Father says because every day is Kid’s Day? That’s how I feel sometimes about “Star Wars.” Like, why is May 4th “Star Wars” Day (May the 4th Be With You) when every day is “Star Wars” Day? I know every day is “Star Wars” Day because over the weekend social media was agog with people ranking “Star Wars” movies. Why? I don’t know. I’ve neither the time nor the inclination anymore these days to track social media tributaries to their source. All I know is, ranking “Star Wars” is not on Cinema Romantico brand; ranking, say, Luke Skywalker’s outfits is.

Ranking Luke Skywalker’s Outfits

NR - Dagobah Workout Clothes

These are purely functionary, the opposite of fashion.

7. Bespin Fatigues 

I mean, what are these? He doesn’t look like an aspiring Jedi coming to Cloud City for the rescue; he looks like a deliveryman dropping off packages at the Cloud City corporate offices. Maybe that brief shot of Lando squinting when Luke shows up isn’t Lando wondering “Who’s this guy” but wondering “What’s this guy wearing?”

6. X-Wing Pilot Suit

This is just functionary too, I suppose, but the orange at least makes it distinct.

5. Moisture Farmer Scrubs

I get that you want to be comfortable under the hot double suns of Tatooine, but I dunno, man. There’s something about Luke’s look here that always suggested 1940s sleepwear.

4. Master Jedi Robes

Shouts to Michael Kaplan, costume designer for “The Last Jedi”, who in concocting Luke’s garb is hearkening back, as you can see throughout this post, to all his previous costuming with various little flourishes, a much more fitting homage, I think, to the predecessors than so much of the New Trilogy’s more cheap nostalgia. 

3. Hoth Snow Cap

Like the J. Peterman Catalogue marketing the bra as a new line in women’s fashion, it is my belief that an enterprising fashion mogul could take Luke’s cap, goggles and scarf from Hoth and transform it into chic city winter wear. Seriously, put Derek Zoolander under that thing and stick it on a billboard on Saks Fifth Avenue and they’ll fly off the shelves. Sonja Tremont Morgan will show up sporting one in the Berkshires. 

2. Throne Room Jacket

As good as Luke ever looked. And it’s interesting to see the look alongside Han, since Han, of course, always wore the same thing, the costume designers hitting on the right Solo attire right off the bat. They could have just taken this Throne Room Luke look and run with it. Imagine Luke showing up at Bespin wearing this! The movie ends not with Luke screaming and falling down the reactor shaft; it ends with Luke coolly flipping a lit match into a gas mine and blowing Darth to kingdom come.

1. All Black

Is a simple black ensemble really more stylish than the Throne Room Jacket? Well, no. It isn’t. It is not more stylish. But it is, I’d submit, the truest piece of Skywalker clothing in a relation to film and performance. That’s because even as the conclusion to the First Trilogy has, as it has for so many people my age, shrunk a bit over time, what with that disgraceful Ben Kenobi hologram scene, I’ve really come to love Hamill’s turn. That’s because even as you can see Harrison Ford checking out, bless his soul, you can also see Hamill trying harder than ever before, painfully exaggerated in his intensity. It is, in other words, Luke at his most goth.