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Tuesday, November 05, 2019

Cinema Romantico's Official 2020 Cinematic Endorsement: UPDATE

Last Friday, Beto O’Rourke dropped out of the Presidential race. What this means in terms of impact, or lack of it, on the Democratic Primary, this blog is not qualified to say. Sadly, we are just as un-qualified, after all this time, to tell you whether “Last of the Mohicans” really is Representative O’Rourke’s favorite movie.

Loyal frustrated followers may recall the timeline of events. A year ago, after losing in the race for U.S. Senate to Ted Cruz, who possibly lies about his favorite movies, Representative O’Rourke published a Thank You Letter in which he name-checked “Last of the Mohicans.” This naturally led Cinema Romantico, whose favorite movie is “Last of the Mohicans”, to wonder if we and the Representative shared favorite films.

In the wake of O’Rourke’s announcement that he was running for President, this question became more urgent. We tried to get to the bottom of the manner. We sent multiple emails to O’Rourke’s campaign hoping to confirm; we received no response. We Tweeted at O’Rourke; he did not Tweet back. We offered $50 to the first friend of ours from our native state of Iowa to attend the Iowa State Fair and ask O’Rourke if “Last of the Mohicans” was his favorite movie; no one went and asked. Now he is out of the race. And so the dream of Cinema Romantico bestowing its traditional and quasi-influential quadrennial Cinematic Endorsement to the Presidential candidate whose favorite movie we find most worthy on a candidate whose favorite is our favorite movie too has died like pretty much all our other dreams.

That reminds me. Things are not looking good for Kamala Harris. Per Politico, her campaign is strapped for cash and struggling. She has laid off her New Hampshire staff. Yikes. And yet. In Googling around recently in yet another attempt to track down the identity of Representative O’Rourke’s favorite film, we were able to confirm that Senator Harris’s favorite movie is “My Cousin Vinny.” And I mean, my God. Mona Lisa Vito is canon. Her film should be Criterion. But don’t me started.

Now AOC, as we know, has already endorsed Bernie. And yet, still, four years later, we don’t know the favorite movie of Senator Sanders. Oh, occasionally he mentions “The Big Short” but that’s no aesthetic judgment; this guy’d stump for Dark Castle’s “Big Banks VI: The Banks Take Manhattan (Again).” Elizabeth Warren, meanwhile, has been cozying up to Dwayne Johnson over “Ballers.” Really, Senator Professor? A television show? The small screen? You’re gonna do me like that? 

It’s still too early to call, of course. Cinema Romantico traditionally waits until the day of the Iowa Caucuses to issue its faux-distinguished endorsement. But know this, Senator Harris is surging in this blog’s polls, Democrats. And unless one of you steps up and really shows some damn taste [thumps desk], come Caucus time Kamala’s gonna leave tire marks all over the lot of you philistines like a 1963 Pontiac Tempest. 

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