' ' Cinema Romantico: All My Favorite Things in the (second) House of Gucci Trailer

Monday, November 01, 2021

All My Favorite Things in the (second) House of Gucci Trailer

This is why I’ll be there opening night (I will not be there opening night): Lady Gaga, as Patrizia Gucci, glowering across extravagantly decorated rooms. 

Well, you have to have at least one shot of Gaga dancing. You don’t include at least one shot of Gaga dancing and the marketing department is going make you recut the whole thing. 

“It’s Gucci,” says Al Pacino as Aldo Gucci, “because I say it is”, in a manner to suggest we will be getting, like, “Devil’s Advocate” Pacino more than, like, “Donnie Brasco” Pacino which is exactly how I would want it. 

Speaking of which...holy crap. Pacino switching on his virtual megaphone while Jared Leto, as Paolo Gucci, is over there looking like he’s auditioning for “Super Mario Bros.” This is like a faux-Renaissance painting you would see in a Wes Anderson movie, or something. 

Unflattering screenshot, I know, apologies, Gaga, I hope you will forgive me. But. When she says the capping line of the trailer - “I don’t consider myself a particularly ethical person” - she does this thing when she says ethical, like she’s biting into it, gleefully laying bare her contempt for the whole concept of ethics. 

It is, as they say, a motion picture and so you really have to see this image in motion. But when Gaga lets her head fall back onto Adam Driver’s shoulder..... [gif of an exploding star] This is the cover of her theoretical future Italo Disco album with Giorgio Moroder that they already should have made. 

Salma Hayek getting a mud bath speaks for itself. 

Life goals

Lady Gaga going all Lorraine Bracco as Karen Hill, looking she just got cast on “Real Housewives of New Jersey”, is one of those Stop And Remake The Whole Movie In This Image moments. 

Have I told you? I haven’t told you. My Beautiful, Perspicacious Wife and I are going to Rome in a couple weeks. I’m looking forward to many things, obviously, though drinking espresso, just stopping at random bars while we’re out strolling to down an espresso before continuing our leisurely stroll, is high on the list. And every time I sip an espresso in Rome - that’s Rome, Italy - I’m going to imagine I’m sipping it like Lady Gaga in the “House of Gucci” trailer, like in the space of that cup the moment is eternal. 

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