Theme From Moonfall

I was so excited to see Roland Emmerich’s latest disaster epic “Moonfall” that the whole week leading up to it, I would entertain My Beautiful, Perspicacious Wife by singing a made-up “Moonfall” theme song. “Moooooooonfaaaaaaall,” I would quasi-croon, “the moon is falling toniiiiiiiiiiight.” (Perhaps entertained was not the word I was looking for there.) And we will get to “Moonfall” with it and my substantial criticisms of it, even if I also sort of enjoyed some of it, but there was one criticism that really required its own post. Because Emmerich really, really missed an opportunity to up the zany level (and which speaks to how “Moonfall” is just not quite zany enough) by not authorizing a “Moonfall” theme song to play over the opening credits. 

The only question is who would have sung the Theme From “Moonfall.” Shirley Bassey, who performed the “Moonraker” theme, is still with us and would have been a sensible choice. Lady Gaga probably would have done it to continue her Hollywood takeover. Pink Martini undoubtedly would have been game. But in the end I think there is only one (theoretical) choice: “Theme From Moonfall” by Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet.