I Finally Watched Transformers

Ha ha! That was just a little joke! To get your attention! After all, I have sworn off Michael Bay movies because it’s better for me, for him, and for everybody else. But still. I’d be remiss to let the opportunity for a faux-quality hardy har har to pass. What happened is this, our TV had been on TNT from the previous evening and when I turned the television back on the next afternoon, it just so happened to be showing “Transformers” (2007). In the space of ten seconds, roughly, I saw in order 1.) Jon Voight as the President, 2.) A baby, and 3.) A tank silhouetted in the desert. I didn’t know what any of this meant, yet instinctively understood that it meant everything, a whole viewpoint condensed. Like seeing F*x N*ws over the shoulder of some dude on an airplane coming home from my native state this past August and seeing, in order, stories on Ukraine, crime-ridden cities, and Hunter Biden, I had seen enough to know I had seen it all.