' ' Cinema Romantico: What Movie Will Margot Robbie Make Next?

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

What Movie Will Margot Robbie Make Next?

On the heels of Cinema Romantico quite possibly predicting Tom Cruise breaking into a submerged submarine in the next “Mission: Impossible” movie, this blog’s esteemed powers of prescience are at it again. Longtime and extremely frustrated followers might recall that last spring, to mark the release of “Air,” detailing the birth of the Air Jordan Nike sneaker, we proposed some other products that Hollywood could exploit for entire movies. Bartles & Jaymes Wine Coolers, the Rubik’s Cube, even Monopoly, the boardgame that I think was supposed to be teaching me the basics of finance but that I mostly treated the same as the classroom, a conduit to daydreaming, in this case, imagining the extravagant beauty of places like Marvin Gardens and St. Charles Place, and hey, before I slip into another St. Charles Place daydream right now and forget, did you hear, fresh off her “Barbie” triumph, Margot Robbie’s LuckyChap Entertainment will produce a Monopoly movie. [Searches blog for bugging device.]

Margot Robbie after drinking too much Surge.

What a Monopoly movie might look like, whether it’s a tense game of a family stuck at home during a blizzard that comes to life, a murder mystery on the Reading Railroad, or something that causes Marco Rubio to take out an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal about Marxists, is difficult to determine and undoubtedly dependent on who winds up directing. No, the question of what a Margot Robbie Monopoly movie might look like interests me less than wondering what movie based on which product this blog pitched will Robbie and LuckyChap take on next? 

United Airlines probably needs to put its focus elsewhere these days, and a movie based on the Dominique Wilkins sneaker is probably less likely at this point than one about Caitlin Clark’s forthcoming footwear. No, I think Robbie’s most likely post-“Monopoly” move is a movie about Surge, the ostensible Mountain Dew Killer that was advertised as the soda of the extreme sports crowd, meaning her performance could combine Glenn Howerton in “Blackberry” with Dan Cortese, which could maybe paint economics as nothing more than a version of extreme sports, or vice-versa. I’m picturing an ending where her character is reduced to eating at the Shakey’s Pizza buffet, wistfully noting they still have Surge on tap. 

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