' ' Cinema Romantico: Not Quite the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Not Quite the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Being the movie snob that I am, it's quite easy to deduce that I prefer the winter movie season to the summer movie season. Movie studios seem to lose what little sense they had to begin with when the heat rises and can often make poor judgement calls. (Fact: an executive at Disney wanted to pull Johnny Depp from "Pirates of the Caribbean" after seeing early footage of his whacked-out performance but sent Depp a hand-written note of apology when the movie - and especially Depp - received great reviews.)

But a hard-swinging movie critic such as myself cannot ignore the summer movie season simply because it's now over-run by Jerry Bruckheimer and Jerry Bruckheimer wannabe's. No, I will attend nearly every blockbuster released over the course of the next summer (even you, Poseidon!). It's my duty. And, quite frankly, the summer movie season is a perfect time to attempt to re-capture one's youth.

Thus as the movies' most lucrative period of the year approaches at a lively pace, there are 6 key questions that must be posed. And Cinema Romantico will pose them.

1.) Pirates of the Caribbean II. Will rock’s greatest guitar player/vodka drinker Keith Richards actually show up for a long-rumored cameo as Johnny Depp’s father?

2.) Mission Impossible III. The question here has nothing to do with He Who Stole Katie Holmes From Her Intended Beau. The true question is why Billy Crudup (who in my humble opinion is the best male actor working today) agreed to be in this movie?

3.) The Da Vinci Code. I find it amusing that whenever this movie is mentioned they make note of the “12 people who haven’t read the book”. Well, guess what? I’m one of those 12. And proud of it. Yet, I’ll go see a movie version of it with Tom Hanks. What kind of person does that make me?

4.) Superman Returns. Brandon Routh is the new Superman. Brandon Routh hails from Norwalk, Iowa. I lived in a house over-run by kittens for a year in Norwalk, Iowa. What does this mean for the film’s potential? Absolutely nothing. But have you ever lived in Superman's hometown?

5.) Miami Vice. Oh yes, a feature film of the “famed” television show. I know what you’re thinking and I can sense your eye-roll but allow me to make this argument – Michael Mann is the writer/director. And Michael Mann is a certified genius (his 3 films in the ‘90’s – Last of the Mohicans, Heat, and The Insider – were all masterpieces and his most recent effort Collateral was damn good). Can Michael Mann pull it off?

6.) The Lake House. Sandra Bullock. Keanu Reeves. Romantic comedy. But after seeing the preview last weekend I'm really excited to see this movie. Do I admit this?


Wretched Genius said...

"The Lake House", by Brad Nagel

INT- Conference Room

Executive #1: I liked "You've Got Mail.

Executive #2: I really enjoyed "Frequency."

Desperate Screenwriter: I have an idea...

Anonymous said...

A whole summer of burly men in dangerous situations. A great summer! I don't understand why Phillip Seymore Hoffman deserved the role that should have been mine, but I digress.

The Fab Miss B said...

Now you and I only have to find the other ten people who did not read the Da Vinci code and we can plot to overthrow the world of publishing! (I must also confess that I will probably see the move. Who can resist Audrey Tattou?)