' ' Cinema Romantico: Merman, Martin and....Miller

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Merman, Martin and....Miller

"So, my dear, you think you can get to Broadway. Well, let me tell you something, Broadway has no room for people like you. Not the Broadway I know! My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out! My Broadway is the Broadway of Merman, and Martin, and Fontaine!"

So said Cosmo Kramer to the chronic crying Janice Graham, who undeservedly shot up the Broadway totem pole when George Costanza inadvertantly knocked out Bette Midler and, thus, knocked her out of the lead in "Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical". ("When the naysayers nay you've got to pick up the pace! You say nothing's gonna stop me so get outta my face!")

You have to be a tough cookie to make it on Broadway, and when I think of tough cookies I think of a certain English chain smoking beauty who doesn't merely tell the paparazzi to bugger off but goes after them like Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong "Those Morons At ESPN Know How To Say My First Name Now" Suh goes after opposing ballcarriers.

If you were unaware, Cinema Romantico's official Cinematic Crush (i.e. Sienna Miller) makes her Broadway debut this evening in "After Miss Julie", a three character play written by Patrick Marber and based on an 1888 play by August Strindberg (Trivia Question of the Day: What movie character claimed that when it came to relationships he was "the winner of the August Strindberg Award?") in which she portrays a (surprise!) scandalous woman attempting to seduce her father's chaffeur.

After seeing her performance in "previews" the NY Daily News promptly termed it "sizzling". But one must wonder what will happen when the hardcore theater critics descend on the American Airlines Theater like vultures ready to lambast her before they've even hopped in the cab bound for midtown. Who knows?

But I'm not worried about her. As stated, Sienna's a tough cookie. (Hmmmm....what if Sienna Miller were a cookie? Why she'd be Red Wine Biscotti, of course.) She can take it. She survived "G.I. Joe". And if things do go bad for her, well, maybe I'll fly out to NYC, camp out with my best friend in Brooklyn, wander down to 42nd Street after one of the shows, buy her a scotch, and then present her my specially constructed Macaroni Miller.

Or not.


Andrew K. said...

The original play was quite good and although [don't kill me] I'm not that hot on Sienna she seems good for the role. Best of luck to her.

Nick Prigge said...

Not to worry. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. There will be no blood shed on this blog. I may be over passionate about everything but I'm still passive.

As a followup to my post, after opening night the reviews are in and well....the NY Times gave her "points for courage" but not a lot else. Reviewer Ben Brantley also took a great deal of time to tell us up front he was "rooting" for her before promptly taking her down a notch thereby expunging himself of the guilt. Very clever, Mr. Brantley!

My local homeys the Chicago Tribune termed her (and co-star Johnny Lee Miller) as "eminently watchable."

In her native England the Guardian said this: "In certain scenes, Miller suggests she may one day evolve into an accomplished actress." That's good...I guess?

Jacob said...

Not to be overly picky, but Brodway is in midtown. So all I can think about now are theater critics simply riding around the block in taxis.