Countdown to the Oscars: Honoring Lauren Bacall's Honorary Oscar

This, of course, has been previously addressed but the idiocy of it remains so wrankling I don't mind re-addressing it. Due to the the Academy's need to bump its Best Picture nominations up to 10 (so it could make room for "The Blind Side"....thank God!) and due to need of the telecast's producing team of Bill Mechanic and Adam Shankman to add a hip hop dance routine to the goings-on we will not be afforded the opportunity to watch the grandest movie dame of grand movie dames - that is, Lauren Bacall - receive her Oscar for Lifetime Achievement. Instead she - and the other recipients - were honored at an untelevised ceremony. The Academy has made countless asinine decisions over the years but this one is near the top of the list.

(Note: I hope Bill Mechanic realizes that in a street fight Lauren Bacall, even at the age of 85, could still take him. Hell, it wouldn't even be close.)

So please remember to honor her yourself. Perhaps when Ben Stiller inevitably takes the stage in some sort of stupid costume and recites terribly unfunny jokes that Mechanic and Shankman will defend as being "what the people want" even though every critic and blogger from here to Istanbul will tomorrow tell you it's exactly what they didn't want you can pour one glass of Shiraz for yourself and then pour one for Lauren while fondly recalling her sizzling cinematic looks and marvelous performances.

You deserved your moment on that Oscar stage, Ms. Bacall, and if the Academy President (Tom Sherak) had any class he would cede his obligatory moment in the spotlight at the ceremony to you.