' ' Cinema Romantico: My All Time Top 10 Totally Subjective Favorite Woody Allen Movie Quotes

Friday, November 05, 2010

My All Time Top 10 Totally Subjective Favorite Woody Allen Movie Quotes

Anymore when I see a Woody Allen movie I find myself vaguely disappointed (i.e. "You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger") and becoming nostalgic for his past work and, of course, becoming nostalgic for the past is a violently slippery slope but then I'm the guy who 17 seconds after the Ra Ra Riot show I saw on October 5th at the Metro had ended started feeling seriously nostalgic for it and so that's just the way it is and, anyway, this is my blog and I can do what I want. So let's revisit a happier time. (I have made notes to provide context when necessary. Also, I limited myself to a single quote from any one movie to make it a little more challenging. Really, this whole thing could just be "Annie Hall" quotes.)

My All Time Top 10 Totally Subjective Favorite Woody Allen Movie Quotes:

10. "I'd like to learn how to spell Connecticut. Don't ask me why. I never knew how to spell Connecticut." - Small Time Crooks (1999)

(And don't ask me why that particular line makes me laugh so hard every time because I don't know. It just does.)

9. "Do me a favor, go back to Athens!" - Mighty Aphrodite (1995)

(This is what Woody yells at the ongoing Greek Chorus at a particularly delicate moment.)

8. "A week ago I bought a rifle. If they told me I had a tumor, I was gonna kill myself. The only thing that might have stopped me is that my parents would be devastated. I'd have to shoot them too. First. And then I have an aunt and uncle, you know, it would've been a blood bath." - Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

7. "Well, a satirical piece in the Times is one thing but bricks and baseball bats really gets right to the point." - Manhattan (1979)

6. "It'll be great because all those Ph.D.'s will be out there discussing modes of alienation and we'll be in here quietly humping." - Annie Hall (1977)

5. "I know exactly what I think about all this but I can never find words to put it in.  Maybe if I get a little drunk I could dance it." - Shadows and Fog (1991)

4. -"That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
-"Yes, it is.
-"What does it say to you?
-"It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos."
-"What are you doing Saturday night?"
-"Committing suicide."
-"What about Friday night?"

- Play It Again, Sam (1972)

3. "I never believed in God. I used to think even if He exists, He's done such a terrible job it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against Him." - Everyone Says I Love You (1996)

(This line was actually spoken by Alan Alda's character but, come on, it's got the Woodman all over it.)

2. "We fell in love. Well, I fell in love. She just stood there." - Bananas (1971)

1. "I'm not really the heroic type. I was beaten up by Quakers." - Sleeper (1973)


Andrew K. said...

Nothing from Bullets Over Broadway? Blasphemy!

Even though it's not my favourite Woody film (Hannah & Her Sisters and Annie Hall battle it out) - it's my favourite Woody script.

Kudos for #2 and #3 especially though. Brilliant.

Nick Prigge said...

If I was doing a Woody Allen Iconic Lines List then "Don't speak" would have made it. In fact, "Don't speak" almost made this list but there is just something, something I can't explain, about that "Connecticut" line that I love a little more.

Also, if I was making a Woody Allen Characters List, Cheech would be on it. Probably in the Top 5. I love Cheech. He's the real Cheech, if you ask me.

Lexi said...

I LOVE #5 and #2!!

Unknown said...

"Well, just let me say one thing. My Uncle Sidney, man, you know, lovely uncle—dead, completely—used to say three things. Used to say, “Acceptance, forgiveness, and love ... And that is a philosophy of life. Acceptance, forgiveness, and love." - Broadway Danny Rose (1984)