Uh, Sienna Miller Is Apparently In Chicago

She's here! My official Cinematic Crush is here! In Chicago! In the city where I live! And not only is she here in the city where I live but whereas most "stars" are spotted in cities walking the dog or chatting on their cellphones, she was spotted in the city where I live......wait for it......buying a 12 pack of Miller High Life.

Oh, still my beating heart.

Granted, she was with her "boyfriend" Tom Sturridge but, seriously, have you seen that guy? I could take him in a fight and I can't take 4 year olds in a fight.

I'll take her out for a coffee. Hell, I'll buy her a scone too. And a copy of The New York Times.

It seems she has graced the city where I live to film "Just Like A Woman" in which she plays, ahem, "a Chicago housewife who transforms into a belly dancing teacher who enters a dancing competition in Las Vegas." Well, of course she does. Can you imagine her pitching this idea to potential backers?

Sienna: "...and I'll play a belly dancer."
Backer #1: "What do you know about belly dancing?"
Sienna: "What do you know about belly dancing?"
Backer #1: "Good point. We'll give you 6.5 million."

Screw fireworks and barbecues! I'm spending my 4th of July downtown! I'll stake out the bar at the Drake, case the lobby of the Peninsula, hang at the front desk of the Four Seasons. I'll find the chicest places on the Mag Mile and pretend like I'm supposed to be there.

Unless she goes to Deliliah's? What if she goes to Delilah's for a $3 Labatt & Maker's???

Achgh'ah'hghahjdh ahaghahg!!!

The possibilities are endless! But I'll find a way to make it happen! You're going down, Sturridge! She's mine! I'm engineering a Meet Cute with Sienna! Mark it down! Like Jeff Tweedy said, "Kiss and ride on the CTA." This'll be the best 4th of July ever! Except...

I'm going out of town this weekend.

How typical.