New Girl: Bad In Bed

As it turns out, Jess (the mercurial Zooey Deschanel) is, as the episode title explicitly suggests, bad in bed. But is she bad in bed? Or does she just think she's bad in bed? And if so, does thinking you're bad in bed merely result in you being bad in bed because you're convinced you're bad in bed? I'm reminded of the wise words from one of my absolute all-time favorite sitcoms (that was tragically killed off much, much too soon), "It's Like, You Know", when one character says to another in regards to the realm of sex: "It's hard to be good because you're trying so hard to be good."

Here's the thing, in the latter show the conversation that generated that line was taking place between two characters who not only genuinely came across as friends but genuinely came across as having a conversation (if you catch my drift). It was funny, really funny, but it also felt really real. In this particular episode of "New Girl", the morning after Jess has scared away Male Jess (Justin Long - apparently the writers didn't forget about him!) on account of being bad in bed when she chooses to indulge in the faulty lessons of porn movies and literally choke him, there is a sweet moment when Nick and Winston explain to Jess that her sexual expertise isn't the most critical issue. "He doesn't care what you do. I've seen the way that boy looks at you." This is what Winston says. But he says something else. He says, "You need to stop worrying about it" - meaning being good in bed - "completely." CUE THE RECORD SCRATCH!!! There was a scene before the the scene in which Jess scares off Male Jess by being bad in bed in which all the guys, including Winston, are giving her advice on how to be good in bed. If she needs to stop worrying about it completely then why don't they tell her that then?

"New Girl" has gotta take the Christmas break to decide if it wants to ridiculously sweet or sweetly ridiculous because it's just kind of hanging out in dreaded no-man's-land right now. Finding the proverbial sweet spot can be difficult, yes, and many, many shows never find it, but at this point "New Girl" is forcing its characters to act out of character just to try and sell a little extra funny. People will only buy for so long.

Postscript: And don't even get me started on the side-story of Nick hating to get his haircut because he hates the pressure of having to make conversation with the person cutting his hair which is exactly like this Nick - the Nick writing this post. I am always terrified to get my hair cut because I am always terrified of getting the haircut "artist" who wants to make endless chit-chat. Ugh. I was so, so, so excited when I realized this was going to be a plot point of the episode and then......it was forgotten. Not completely, but essentially. What a waste.