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Him: "What are you doing this weekend? Seeing any new movies?"
Me: "'Carnage!' I'm seeing 'Carnage!'"
Him: "What's that?"
Me: "It's the new Kate Winslet movie!"
(Co-Worker rolls his eyes.)
Me: "Oh, come on! She's the-"
Him: "The greatest actress in the world. You've told me before. I know."
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| Some things are non-negotiable. Like the earth being round, or Kate Winslet being The Greatest Actress In The World. |
Him: "Yeah, I still don't get it. Her career really isn't all that special."
Me: "Isn't all that...have you SEEN any of her movies?"
Him: "What all has she done?"
Me: "I know you don't like 'Titanic' so we'll skip over that one. 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind?'"
Him: "She was okay."
Me: "Okay?!" (Regaining composure.) "'The Reader?'"
Him: "Nope. Didn't see it."
Me: "Heavenly Creatures?'"
Him: "Never heard of it."
Me: "'Little Children?'"
Him: "What's that?"
Me: "No one's seen 'Hideous Kinky' so never mind but......'Sense and Sensibility?'"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "She was Ophelia in 'Hamlet.'"
Him: "Mel Gibson's version?"
Me: "No, the Branagh version of the whole text."
Him: "Then I haven't seen it."
Me: "'Finding Neverland?' You must have at least seen 'Finding Neverland?'"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Have you maybe seen parts of 'The Holiday' on TBS?"
Him: "Is that the one with Jack Black?"
Me: "Yeah, but-"
Him: "Ugh. No way."
Me: "But SHE'S fantastic in it. I'm telling you."
Him: "Sure she is."
How can you dismiss the entire career of an actress - especially The Greatest Actress In The World - when YOU'VE ONLY SEEN TWO OF HER MOVIES?????????
8 comments:
This sounds a conversation I had with a workmate convincing her about Jude Lawe. Kate and Jude need to hook up on screen, I kept hoping that they'd turn out NOT to be siblings in Holiday and hook-up, but alas no.
Sigh.
Really, though, two talented Britons around the same age...why haven't then been sexing it up in a movie? I don't understand the world.
This can't possibly be a legitimate conversation - but it is funny my friend.
Andrew: That does seem like a very strange missed (so far) opportunity. Plus, Cameron Diaz & Jack Black go together so much more than Kate & Jack Black. Though, of course, to be fair, Kate completely sells her swoonage for Jack Black.
Sam: I have to say, it's actually more legitimate than you think. It didn't quite flow as well as I made it seem here but, I swear, I really did list all those movies and he really did claim to have seen none of them.
Your friend probably thinks Kate Winslet is snooty because she's British.
I thought she was good in Carnage. The movie? Not so much.
Ah! You didn't like "Carnage"? Really? Granted, it had some fairly forced symbolism in there but man, I could watch the escalating contempt of those four performances all day long.
I think my problem was with the source material, actually, though I had problems with both Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly. I just don't think it translates to the screen the way it probably played on stage. I found it extremely irritating that people kept trying to leave but never actually left. I mean, wasn't Christoph Waltz supposed to be in a hurry? (He was my favorite part of the movie, by the way. That puts Kate in the second slot.)
I'm actually kind of a sucker for filmed plays, but artifice that works well on stage often doesn't translate well to film. I felt that about this film. I didn't hate it, but I wanted/expected so much more.
In the review I wrote of it over on Anomalous Material I referred to that constant attempt to leave as the New York version of the Midwestern "Long Goodbye". I don't know where you're from originally, but in the Midwest when you say you're going to "leave" you don't actually leave for another 20-30 minutes, at least.
Then again, that could ring false to New Yorkers. They may not actually have a Long Goodbye. But it made it easier, I guess, for me to buy.
That explanation works for me to a certain extent. However, I think it makes much more sense when the people involved are friends, rather than adversaries trying desperately to be polite. What I thought was absurd was that they were basically in the elevator, having agreed on a plan to meet later, when Reilly is like "Come back in! Have some coffee!" Who DOES that? It's not like they were leaving in a huff -- they were leaving with definite plans to meet later.
I guess you could say that things like this don't bother you in a movie that's doing everything else right. That really tells me that Carnage wasn't.
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