' ' Cinema Romantico: For Your (Razzie) Consideration: Jordana Spiro, "Trespass"

Sunday, January 22, 2012

For Your (Razzie) Consideration: Jordana Spiro, "Trespass"

Tomorrow the Razzies, recognizing the worst in cinema, announce their 2011 nominations. Buzz for Worst Supporting Actress includes, amongst others, Katie Holmes for "Jack and Jill" (oh Katie - what has L. Ron Hubbard done to my poor Katie?) and Rosie Huntington Whiteley for "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

I haven't seen those performances, and while there isn't a doubt in my mind that they're wretched, Razzie Nominating Committee, I ask you, are they merely "boringly wretched"? Or, are they SPECTACULARLY wretched?

Jordana Spiro in "Trespass" is SPECTACULARLY wretched.

This was quite literally the only photo of Ms. Spiro from "Trespass" I could find online, so you'll have to make do. But notice the unhinged facial expression. Screenshot don't lie.
Imagine Samuel L. Jackson in "Jungle Fever" recast as Bonnie Parker as re-imagined by Phoebe Buffay if Phoebe Buffay doubled as a stripper. That's Jordana Spiro in "Trespass." She's a splendifirous wackadoo that's part of a motley crew determined to rob Nicolas Cage & Nicole Kidman. And while the writing is crazy-pants bad and the direction is, well, the direction of Joel Schumacher, it is Spiro who shapes the character of Petal (yes, Petal) into a scene-stealer in the all the ways acting coaches encourage you NOT to steal scenes.

The Razzies are the anti-Oscars, are they not? So don't be like the Oscars. Don't be all predictable. Think outside the box. Jordana. Spiro. "Tresspass." Worst. Supporting. Actress. See it and, trust me, you will believe it.


Derek Armstrong said...

I agree, she was absolutely terrible, and I love your description of her. I've had a mind to rank Trespass as the worst film I saw in 2011, but there is one that makes me angrier. Which one? Stay tuned for the answers tomorrow on my blog! (Shameless self promotion. Is there any other kind?)

Nick Prigge said...

WORSE than "Trespass"? Heaven help us! Now I'm intrigued.