' ' Cinema Romantico: Ranking the 11 Best Star Wars Sartorial Choices

Monday, December 23, 2019

Ranking the 11 Best Star Wars Sartorial Choices

The plan had been to put up my Films of the Decade on Friday and then shutter the blog for the rest of the holiday season, until the momentous annual Random Awards on New Year’s Day. However, this weekend marked the release of “The Rise of Skywalker” (The Last STAR WARS Movie...Until the Next One). That does not mean I saw “The Rise of Skywalker.” No, no, no. I like to wait a few weeks to see any new “Star Wars” so all the opposing tribes, fans and critics and critics accused of being haters and actual haters and snarky agnostics, can exhaust their hot take ammunition before I slide in, when no one’s listening anymore, with my take. But. Late Friday afternoon, loyal frustrated follower Rory, texted me the following: “The Star Wars saga is over, so it’s time for you to rank all the best sartorial choices in all 11 movies!” Indeed, everyone else is ranking all 11 movies now that the “Star Wars” saga is over (until it isn’t) and so why on blogging earth is Cinema Romantico here if not to respond from a sartorial point-of-view. Duty, I realized, called. (I did, however, slightly amend my friend’s request to simply rank the best 11 sartorial choices among all the movies because, well, you’ll see. See you in the New Year.)

Ranking the 11 Best Star Wars Sartorial Choices

11. A New Hope Star Wars – Tantive IV Rebel Troopers

I have always loved these rags because their cheap all-purpose aesthetic not only suggests insurgency finances as bargain bin but evokes the indie roots of that very first film.

10. Return of the Jedi  Leia, Camouflage

Princess cum General Leia Organa has more important things to worry about than walking the runway, granted, but she would have been the first person in this galaxy or in a galaxy far, far away to own the runway by walking it in camo.

9. The Force Awakens – Rey, Going-To-Find-Luke Getup

I like this getup because it essentially suggests that Rey is taking the same design as her Jakku Scavenger duds and then spiffing them up to begin Jedi Training. You know, like when a Track & Field athlete starts recording Olympic-quality times and finally gets sponsorship from Nike. 

8. Return of the Jedi – Luke, All Black

I already broke down Luke’s Jedi look in my separate post ranking his character’s sartorial choices, of course, but I had not seen this photo. And if fashion is as much about confidence and presentation as it is about clothes, hoo boy, Luke Skywalker was never more a la mode. Here the one black glove comes across not as a necessity but a choice, and a bold one at that, recasting himself less as a mystical knight than a Coruscant pop star.

7. The Last Jedi  Oscar Isaac, Jacket

To quote the Cuban Embassy Dude noticing Cosmo Kramer’s striking outerwear: “I *like* that jacket.”

6. Solo: A Star Wars Story – Lando, Tie

The shirt, yes, fine, solid, but the tie ties everything together by hanging loose, summarizing Lando Calrissian as a man who can get look good while kicking back.

5. Empire Strikes Back – Leia, Hoth Gear

Refuse to eschew fashion for functionality with this quilted vest and these wedge heel boots, making you equally at home trekking the frigid frozen plains of Hoth or in repose on the slopes of Alderaan’s Triplehorn Mountains.

4. Attack of the Clones – Padmé, Tatooine Leisure Wear

This proves, once and for all, that, with just a little effort, people, you can dress stylishly in the far Outer Rim.

3. A New Hope Star Wars  Han Solo’s Vest

Self-evidently seminal.

2. Empire Strikes Back – Lando, Baron Administrator Ensemble

A cool blue with a gold-lined cape doesn't mix business and pleasure but makes them one and the same so that you can go straight from the Cloud City Council meeting to the club without losing a step.

1. Attack of the Clones – Padmé’s Jumpsuit

Now I know that technically speaking “Attack of the Clones”, being a prequel and all, comes before “Empire Strikes Back” in the “Star Wars” universe, meaning a pseudo logical argument might say that Leia’s Hoth outfit was inspired by Padmé’s jumpsuit. But here, in our real reality, we know “Attack of the Clones” came after “Empire Strikes Back” which means it’s the other way around. And so, Padmé’s jumpsuit becomes akin to all these teenagers I see running around these days duplicating and expanding Alicia Silverstone’s [Chef’s Kiss] look from the Cryin’ video. I mean, I’ve never seen “Attack of the Clones” but holy shit. Making this list was revelatory for me. I don’t know where Padmé stands in the character canon with the “Star Wars” faithful, and I know this movie’s reception was lukewarm, but whatever. Padmé Amidala, it turns out, is a goddamn icon.

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