' ' Cinema Romantico: Harrison Ford Says the Titles of His Movies

Thursday, April 08, 2021

Harrison Ford Says the Titles of His Movies

After re-watching “Clear and Present Danger” a few months ago, I told My Beautiful, Perspicacious Wife about Harrison Ford - er, Jack Ryan - confronting the evildoing The President. This was not long after January 6th, not long after Nancy Pelosi had deemed our then-President, His Imbecility, a clear and present danger. And so My Beautiful, Perspicacious Wife wondered, given the title, if that’s what Harrison Ford - er, Jack Ryan - called the movie President. Alas, he did not. But boy, I suddenly wished he would have. And that, as it absolutely had to, got me to thinking. It got me to thinking about Harrison Ford dispensing title drops of all his movies. Ok, ok, not all of them. Harry’s  made a lot of movies, man. But these were the ones that occurred to me.

American Graffiti. “When I’m through with you, kid, you’ll just be American Graffiti splayed across the road.”

Star Wars. “Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like, suicide” becomes “Kid, I’ve had it about up to here with all these Star Wars.”

The Empire Strikes Back. “It’s a good bet the Empire knows we’re here” becomes a rueful “The Empire Strikes Back” in the vein of “It’s all simple tricks and nonsense.”

Return of the Jedi. Falls out of the carbonite. Looks up. “Well, well, the return of the Jedi.”

Raiders of the Lost Ark. Slaps Sallah on the back while digging up the Well of Souls. “Guess we’re just a bunch of Raiders of the Lost Ark, huh?”

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Knight: “You’re dressed strangely...for a knight.” Indiana Jones: “I’m not a knight. I’m Indiana Jones...and this is the last crusade.”

Frantic. [Husky shout.] “I’m frantic!”

Presumed Innocent. Ok, I’ve never actually seen “Presumed Innocent.” But if Harrison Ford never gets to bark “Whatever happened to presumed innocent until proven guilty?” then someone really fell down on the job.

The Fugitive. Tommy Lee Jones already has this one covered. Next.

Patriot Games. [Shoves Sean Bean against the speedboat railing.] “I’m through playing all these Patriot Games. ”

The Devil’s Own. “Thought he was a good kid. Turns out he was The Devil’s Own.”

Air Force One. Glenn Close gets the title drop here, of course, and respect. But I’m a little disappointed that when Ford says “Do you know who I am? I’m the President of the United States” we couldn’t have tacked an “And this is Air Force One” onto the end of it.  

Six Days, Seven Nights. “This has been the longest six days, seven nights of my LIFE.”

Random Hearts. Kristin Scott Thomas: “What the heart wants, it’s so random.” Harrison Ford: “I guess you could say we’re just a couple Random Hearts.”

What Lies Beneath. “When I first met you, all I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with you. If only you’d known What Lies Beneath.”

Firewall. “This is the strongest firewall in America!”

Cowboys & Aliens. Looking through field glasses from high on a ridge. “I’ve never seen so many Cowboys and Aliens.”

Hollywood Homicide. Josh Harnett: “You’re saying what happened in Hollywood?” Harrison Ford: [breathes through nose] “Homicide.”

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