Golden Globes Updated: There Will Be No Golden Globes

Everybody knows the meme. Or, everyone who is plugged in, probably a bit too much, knows the meme. If you, like, see Rocky the rescue cat belonging to Capitol Hill correspondent Lisa Desjardins on the PBS NewsHour, or if you are watching an old “Golden Girls” rerun and suddenly Mr. Wilhelm (i.e. Richard Herd) shows up, you post the picture to your social media account of Leonardo DiCaprio as washed up actor Rick Dalton in Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood” pointing himself out on TV in an episode of F.B.I. which he is watching with his friend and consigliere of sorts Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt). “I saw it!” you’re comically telling the whole world. I bring it up because the fictional Rick’s house is in the Hollywood Hills, and in December, when the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, elite level hobnobbers, pledged to still hold its annual Golden Globes Awards despite NBC pulling the plug on the telecast over the HFPA’s lack of diversity, this blog speculated the HFPA might still hold its glorified cocktail party in a Hollywood Hills garage. Who wouldn’t at least turn into a livestream of some confused celebs showing for a Costco shrimp platter?

Well, as Decider reported, now the Golden Globes will not even be livestreamed (possibly from an HFPA member’s Hollywood Hills garage). No, an HFPA spokesperson explained “This year’s event is going to be a private event and will not be livestreamed.” The spokesperson continued: “We will be providing real-time updates on winners on the Golden Globes website and our social media.” So, now I’m picturing a few HFPA members, whichever ones decide to show up for this ignominious faux-affair, sitting around someone’s Hollywood Hills living room, a la Rick and Cliff, swigging Whiskey Sours, Tweeting out winners they just sort of randomly decide in the moment (Hannah Waddingham for “Ted Lasso” because everybody loves “Ted Lasso” and now nobody will be mad at us anymore, right?) and then every time they see on of their own Tweets scroll across their own timelines, sitting up excitedly and pointing at it. 

Has the Hollywood Party Planning Committee been formed yet?